Where do we begin? First, have a talk with your teen. Find a comfortable place where you can focus. You can say, “I’ve noticed you’ve been feeling ____, and I want to get you set up with some extra support from a therapist.” It is important to be honest and open and set the right tone. Let them know that you love them, and there is no shame in getting support with behaviors or mental health challenges. It is also important to listen to your child’s concerns. If they are feeling nervous, angry, or upset, ask them to tell you more about how they are feeling.

Collaborate with your teen if possible. You can ask your teen:

• “Is there any kind of therapist you’d prefer?”
• “Do you care about the sex or gender of your therapist? Some people want to have a female therapist or a male therapist. Does this matter to you?”
• “I am going to make a list of therapists and then I’d like you to look over them with me.”

The next step is to make a list of possible candidates. You can do this by:

• Asking for referrals from your family physician, school counselor, or other community support.
• Asking friends or co-workers with children if they have any good recommendations.
• Asking your health insurance companies for providers that are “in network” or how they will reimburse you for the cost of therapy for “out of network” providers.

You can also utilize internet search engines such as Psychology Today, Mental Health Match, or Inclusive Therapists (among others) to look for providers in your area. These search engines allow you to sort by zip code, online vs. in-person therapy, gender, insurance, etc. They will also provide you with a blurb or a short summary of the therapist’s specialties.

Some things to look for include:

• Do they work with children and adolescents?
• Do they have experience with the issues that your teen is going through?
• Does their rate per session fit your budget, or do they offer a “sliding scale” or lower rate adjustments?
• Do they see clients after school, on weekends, or during school hours?

Some folks utilize special techniques such as Play Therapy, Art Therapy, or Animal Assisted Therapy (with a dog or animal in the room!) Some therapists specialize in certain issues such as grief support, eating disorders, divorce and family changes, or LGBTQ+ identity. Be on the lookout for the issues that impact your child.

All those letters!

Therapists have different backgrounds and specialize in different things. Here’s a quick overview of what some of the acronyms or “letters” mean.

• Fully licensed therapists may have the letters LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor), LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist), or LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker).
• Therapists with master’s degrees in counseling or psychology who are working towards being licensed (under supervision for thousands of hours), may have the letters LPC-A or LMSW.

Some types of therapy include:

• CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)- learning how to reframe your thinking, self talk, etc.
• DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy)- learning skills of mindfulness, emotional regulation, distress tolerance (crisis survival), and interpersonal communication.
• EMDR (Eye Movement Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) – therapy that helps with trauma experiences, utilizes body and eye movement.
• SFBT (Solution Focused Brief Therapy)- learning how to problem solve a short-term issue.

After you have a short list of possible therapists, show them to your teen. You can read the therapist’s website or look at their profile online together, and ask your teen about their impressions. Most therapists offer a free 15-minute consultation, so you can also try talking to a couple folks to see if it feels like a good match.

Finally, it is important to stay hopeful during this process! Some therapists may have a long wait list, or only offer certain hours. Encourage your child to be patient and flexible, and let them know that you are going to figure this out together. It may take some time to find the right person- and you can let your teen know you will be with them every step of the way! 

This is the first proposal for using screening tools to detect children and adolescents who may have anxiety or depression. If implemented, the screening would be done along with regular physical checkups and trends toward anxiety would also be recorded as the child ages.

One of the tools researchers note that work well in reducing anxiety is more open communication between parents and children. There are simple ways to help your adolescent or teen reduce anxiety that simply involve listening, acknowledging feelings, and talking with your child.

By putting these tips in place on a regular basis your child will feel more inclined to share their feelings and their day-to-day anxieties.

1. Take time each day to encourage your teen or adolescent to tell you about their day. Use questions that can be answered beyond a yes or no. For instance, “What was something good that happened today?” or “What was your favorite part of the day today?”

You can also ask them if they had a difficult day or a sad time at school? Make sure you’re listening with empathy, and they understand they have time to talk freely. These conversations can happen each day without a rigorous schedule, in fact, if you integrate them easily into the day your child will feel more at ease with the conversation. Some parents find that asking these questions on the ride home from school are valuable, or while the child is doing daily chores or dishes or helping with dinnertime. During these conversations focus on hearing what the child is saying and not how you might fix it. Let them share freely, listen, and make sure they know you are there to support them.

2. Help underscore their coping skills and what they are doing to help themselves.

If your child is experiencing or expressing anxiety help them remember to use coping techniques, like deep breathing, or taking a walk to help lessen anxiousness (even on the playground). Talk to them about counting their breaths from 1 to 10, for a small break from the anxiety. Reassure your child or teen that anxiety is common and a normal part of life and using small interventions can help lessen the anxiety. Reflect back to your child the coping skills they are already using and underscore how powerful and kind those are to continue using.

3. Art, Sleep and Exercise

Encouraging your adolescent to explore their anxiety through art is also an optimal way to reduce their anxiety. Doing art with your child at home is also helpful as it can provide another time for ease in communicating about feelings. Music, dance, and exercise are all good methods for relieving anxiety. According to the American Art Therapy Association, artistic expression may decrease anxiety, feelings of anger and depression. This creative process can also enhance cognitive abilities, foster greater self-awareness, and help students regulate their emotions.

More Resources:

https://commons.emich.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1162&context=mcnair – Art Therapy as an as an Intervention and Its Effects on Anxiety and Depression

https://www.psychreg.org/attentive-listening-teens/ – Active Listening Helps Reduce Anxiety in Teens