First, let’s look at the downside. Researchers say social media plays a major role in teen mental health, bullying, and body image. Several studies link increased time spent on social media with higher rates of depression and suicide among teens. During the COVID-19 pandemic, rates of cyberbullying increased as teens spent more time online, with 21% of adolescents between the ages of 10-18 reporting some form of cyberbullying. And 40% of teens say their body image is negatively impacted by Instagram and other social media apps. Another worry is that teens can’t seem to stop social media: in one study, 67% of parents said they have been concerned that their teen is addicted. Privacy is also paramount, as parents wonder how their teens\’ data is collected and how it will be used.

Despite these troubling statistics, experts agree that not all of the responsibility lies with social media. Psychologist Jeffrey Pickens says, “We cannot blame technology for our social problems. These tools, like any other, can be used for good or mischief.” As with any other tool, Pickens says parents must educate themselves, set appropriate boundaries, and talk to their teens about potential pitfalls. “It is important for parents to talk with teens about the pros and cons of online interactions, how to defend themselves from negative people and messages, and how to enjoy activities that unplug us from the online metaverse.” Pickens and others say that parents taking an active role in their teens’ digital lives helps them avoid straying too far into the scary side of social media.

And while the upside of social media gets less attention, the benefits to teens are real. It allows teens to build meaningful relationships, express themselves creatively, learn about the world, develop empathy, and experiment with crafting their identities. Online communities provide (sometimes life-saving) support for teens, especially those who identify as LBGTQIA+, have disabilities or illnesses, or are socially excluded. Many teens use social media to make an outsized impact as activists, artists, and entrepreneurs. In a 2018 Pew Research survey, 81% of teens said social media helps them feel more connected to what’s going on in their friends’ lives, 71% said it allows them to show their creativity, and 68% said it gives them the feeling that they have people who can support them through tough times.

To help teens make the best of social media and stay safe, experts recommend that parents implement the following strategies:

• Wait to get them their first phone. Most kids in the U.S. get their first phone at age 10. While every family should base the decision on their individual needs, waiting even a little longer can benefit kids by giving them more time to mature. “The younger that they are, the more likely they are to have more online harassment happen, because they\’ve been on it longer, they have more followers, they have more chances for mean things happening online, (and) more online drama,” says Linda Charmaraman, PhD, founder and director of the Youth, Media & Wellbeing Research Lab at Wellesley.

• Monitor their accounts. When kids do get their first phone, let them know that you’ll be checking their social media accounts regularly. Once a week is a good goal. Since it’s harder to set a new rule once teens are used to phone freedom, it’s best to start early and stay consistent.

• Give them examples and explain what’s ok and not ok. Adolescents need to know exactly what counts as gossiping, bullying, or spreading rumors, as well as explanations for why it\’s hurtful and what harm it causes. They also need to know what’s safe and appropriate to share and what isn’t. Set rules, but talk about them together so teens know you’re concerned for their safety, not trying to control them or invade their privacy.

• Prioritize face-to-face friendships. The COVID-19 pandemic upended teens’ social lives and made online connections an even bigger part of their reality. But social media is no substitute for real-world connections, and teens need a balance of both. Encourage your teen’s offline friendships by getting to know their friends, planning fun activities, and providing transportation and a safe space to hang out.

• Keep talking and hold each other accountable. Parents can be a powerful example of social media self-awareness. Pay attention to your own social media habits and screen time. Talk to your teen about digital devices and different platforms. Ask genuinely curious questions. Decide together what your family’s best practices look like, from setting up a charging station for phones outside bedrooms to planning device-free fun time.

Above all, remember that you’re still the most important influence in your teen’s life. When you stay as involved in their online life as you are offline, teens can explore social media and experience its benefits while staying safe. 

The good news is that parents are still a powerful influence on the way teens see themselves. Here are six of the best strategies we’ve found to promote body positivity with your teen:

Provide diverse, body-positive media, and start young. Kids who see themselves represented in the media they consume have higher self-esteem, and kids who are exposed to diverse, inclusive images show more empathy and acceptance of themselves and others. It’s never too early to emphasize diversity and body positivity… one study found that children as young as three already identify thinness as the ideal body shape. You can’t combat every damaging media message, but you can provide kids with role models of all shapes, sizes, ethnicities, abilities, ages, sexual orientations, and gender identities living happy and healthy lives.

Prioritize inner awareness over outside messages. Because teens are naturally concerned about how others see them, they tend to evaluate themselves based on outside factors like physical appearance, performance, or feedback from others. Help teens cultivate and prioritize their inner awareness instead. Teach them to listen to their thoughts, feelings, and sensations. Talking to them about how they feel lets them know that it matters to you. You can also help them notice when they’re elevating the opinions of others over their own experience. Mindfulness practices to calm the mind and cultivate compassion for themselves and others help teens keep outside influences in check. With this “inside-out” focus, teens can more easily filter out messages that might make them feel bad.

Be aware of how your own body image affects your teen. Most parents are careful not to criticize their child’s body, but how often do you criticize your body? Research shows that parents transmit a negative body image to teens even if their critical comments are only about themselves. It’s not the appearance, weight, ability, or physical condition of your body that matters; it’s what you feel and say about yourself that affects your teen’s body image. Making self-critical comments, even in a joking way, teaches your teen to do the same. But luckily, teens whose parents have a positive body image are more likely to feel good about themselves. The bottom line? Loving your body helps teens love their bodies, too.

Eat meals together. When families are busy, it’s tempting to skip meals or let everybody grab whatever they can on their way out the door. But a recent study from the University of Missouri found that eating breakfast and other meals together promotes a positive body image among adolescents. Researchers say that sharing meals with at least one parent benefits teens by promoting a healthy relationship with food and providing meaningful, consistent connection. Eating breakfast more frequently is associated with a more positive body image, too. If it’s not something you already do, ask if your family could try having breakfast together once or twice a week to start.

Help them find fun in physical activity. Physically active teens are more likely to have a positive body image, but too much pressure to achieve can backfire, making teens feel inadequate and even leading to extreme diets and exercise. Parents can help their teens find balance with activities that are a good fit for their personalities and interests. If team sports aren’t their thing, maybe a martial arts or dance class would be a better fit. Whatever they choose, look for a welcoming, inclusive coach, club, or class that prioritizes a growth mindset and teamwork over scores and rankings. You can also plan active family time, like weekend hikes or backyard soccer games–anything that gets you moving and having fun together is a win.

Seek out body-positive media. The flip-side of social media’s appearance-obsessed trend is a rise in body-positive activists and influencers. Check out tennis star Serena Williams or style blogger Shira Rose for inspiration. Online communities now celebrate bodies that, not so long ago, were never represented in a positive light. Fill your own feed with images and messages that promote a positive self-image and talk about them with your teen. Encourage teens to seek out media that is diverse, inclusive, and that makes them feel good about themselves.

It may feel challenging to overcome the external influences in your teen’s life when it comes to body positivity, but remember that parents still play a powerful role in influencing the way teens see themselves. How you practice body positivity through family conversations and activities can have a lasting impact on your teen’s body image. 

One of the most important keys to supporting good mental health is openly and positively talking about it with your family. Mental health is health, but families are often afraid to talk about mental health. Yet, talking about mental health is one of the ways we can avoid mental health crises.

Create space for hard conversations and be willing to talk about feelings of depression, anxiety, stress, and isolation. Let your teen know that all feelings are okay. Talking and listening to one another can ease feelings of isolation and create opportunities to address challenges positively and proactively before crisis happens.

Here are some engaging resources to support your family’s mental health conversations—this month and all year long.

1. Well Beings/PBS Community Outreach Tour– a series of outstanding virtual panels on a variety of youth mental health topics. Watch with your teen and start a conversation!

2. Child Mind Institute’s Dare to Share Campaign – hear from kids and adults talking about what they do to help their mental health.

As a family, you can also commit to keeping physically active, being in nature, getting enough sleep, and practicing mindfulness to support your mental health wellness. Additionally, keeping a journal can be an effective tool for calming your teen\’s mind and gives them time to slow down and process feelings.

While we know social media can be valuable for connecting and engaging, it’s important to track social media usage and its impact. Does it increase your anxiety or your teen\’s anxiety or does usage decrease it? Researchers are finding a link between frequent social media use and young mental health issues.

Sometimes social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat can put more pressure on teenagers in regard to body image, status symbols, as well as online bullying that can occur on these platforms. Not all social media is negative, though! Here’s a great list of Instagram accounts to boost your mood that you can share with your family.

When you’re open to raising awareness and creating opportunities for proactive and positive conversations about mental health in your family, your teen knows that it’s okay to not be okay and that your home is a safe space to be vulnerable.

Here are some valuable mental health resources for both parents and teens to explore and share with others.

• Crisis Text Line: Text “START” to 741741 in USA
• National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-NAMI
• National Eating Disorder Association: 1-800-931-2237
• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
• Trevor Project (or LGBTQ Youth): Call 866-488-7386 or Text START to 678-678
• List of International Suicide Hotlines
• Helpful vs. harmful ways to manage emotions