What it is:

Oxford Languages defines gratitude as the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and return kindness. We all know what it means to be grateful, but brain changes are triggered by powerful emotions, not just words. Imagine your heart overflowing with gratitude for all of life’s blessings. The cascade of good feelings unleashes gratitude’s benefits.

How it works:

Numerous studies link gratitude to increased activity in the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for logic, learning, and decision making. Gratitude also increases serotonin and activates the production of dopamine, two neurotransmitters associated with happiness and well-being. Additional research correlates gratitude with feelings of positivity towards oneself and others and relief from stress.

Because the prefrontal cortex is developing until about age 25, teens process experiences with their more emotional limbic brains, especially the amygdala. That makes teens more susceptible to stress than adults: they don’t yet have the complete neurological framework to put things in perspective. A regular gratitude practice helps teens learn how to cultivate positive thoughts and emotions and shift their focus away from stressors. One study of adolescent victims of bullying even showed that gratitude lowered suicide risk among these vulnerable teens.

How to put it into practice:

Researchers say most teens (and adults!) need help making gratitude a habit. Consistency is key to shift the focus toward positive thoughts and feelings and away from negative ones. These four strategies are a great place to start:

• Share gratitude at mealtimes. 

Lots of families share something they’re grateful for when they sit down to dinner together. You can make this practice even more meaningful by helping to strengthen the emotional connection. For example, after each person has shared, take a moment to close your eyes, hold hands, and give thanks silently or out loud. Or specifically share things you’re grateful for in each other: “Sebastian, it warmed my heart when you helped your granddad get out of the car yesterday. I see how much you care about others and how thoughtful you are. Thank you.”

• Keep a gratitude journal together.

In one study, participants who wrote about their grateful feelings felt significantly happier about themselves and more optimistic about their lives. Writing is powerful because it gives teens time to reflect on and really feel the positive emotions which, in turn, helps support those healthy changes in the brain. To make the habit sustainable for tech-savvy teens, download the free Three Good Things gratitude app (developed by a 17-year-old) and make it a family goal to record and share your daily lists.

• Write gratitude letters.

Paper letters and thank you notes are quickly becoming a thing of the past, but there’s still something special about handwritten appreciation. Research has found that just by writing three letters of gratitude over time increased participants’ overall happiness and life satisfaction. Set an example by dropping a surprise note of gratitude in your teen’s backpack or writing all the things you love about them in their birthday card. Then keep a stack of thank you notes, envelopes and stamps on hand and encourage them to write notes to teachers, coaches, family members, friends, or mentors they feel grateful for. 

• Empower teens to spread gratitude to others. 

Gratitude is contagious in the best way: when we tell someone we’re grateful for them, they feel good, and they’re more likely to share those positive vibes with others. When your teen is in on the secret, they’re perfectly poised to spread gratitude and empathy among their friends and peers. Teach them that gratitude is a great way to support someone who’s feeling down or needs a confidence boost. Simply letting someone know, “I see you and I’m grateful for you” is one way teens can share the love with others– and make themselves feel great, too!

The upshot? Brain science has evolved fast in the past few decades. Researchers now know a lot about what’s going on inside the brains of teenagers, but you don’t have to be a neuroscientist to understand the basics. Here are five facts about the teenage brain that all parents should keep in mind:

The teenage brain is still developing. One of the last regions of the brain to mature is the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for reasoning, planning, prioritizing, and impulse control. The brain isn’t fully developed until about age 25, so when teenagers demonstrate risky behavior or poor judgment, it’s not a failure on their parents’ part. Teens really are less capable of thinking through the consequences of their actions and planning for outcomes. Each time teens learn from a mistake; they strengthen their reasoning skills. And when parents help teens map out a plan, consider possible results, and make a decision, it lays the neural foundation for a lifetime of good judgment.

The teenage brain is more emotional. What causes teen drama and mood swings? Because their frontal brains are still developing, teens rely more on the limbic brain to make decisions. The limbic brain, especially the amygdala, is associated with emotions, impulses, and the fight-or-flight stress response. Psychologist Marwa Azab says, “During the teen years, it helps to think of the amygdala as the ‘gossiper.’ It loves to spread bad news and rumors… So, a teen might end up misperceiving a benign ‘hello’ as ‘I am watching you’ or ‘I noticed that pimple.’\” Until the prefrontal cortex develops to help them keep fears and impulses in check, teens are more likely to experience intense emotions–especially in response to stress.

The teenage brain is packed with potential. Around puberty, teens experience a big boost in neuroplasticity. Their brains are rapidly changing in response to their environment, and all that plasticity means potential. Research shows that brain processing and memory-forming power peak at age 18. Challenging, stimulating experiences make a lasting impression on the teenage brain, so it\’s the perfect time to learn or perfect language, music, academic, and athletic skills. Teens are also primed to benefit from experiences that expand the way they see the world and their place in it, like travel, volunteering, after-school jobs, and summer internships. But Psychologist Laurence Steinberg says it’s important to remember that “puberty makes the brain more sensitive to all sorts of environmental influences, both good and bad,” so parents still have a major role to play in protecting their teens from negative influences.

The teenage brain is more vulnerable to stress. Adolescence is one of life’s biggest transitions, bringing neurological, physical, social, and emotional changes. This makes teens more vulnerable to stress and mental health problems. Many mental health disorders—including anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, and self-harm—are more likely to emerge during the teenage years. And according to the CDC, the COVID-19 pandemic caused the mental health of teens to take a dramatic downturn. Parents can help by sharing strategies for stress reduction, like mindfulness, deep breathing, and talking openly about hard things. Long-term healthy habits, like managing social media time and getting enough sleep and exercise, also help teens keep stress in check.

The teenage brain is incredibly resilient. You–and your teen–may need a reminder from time to time, but they are strong, capable, and adaptable. As their brains are developing, teens are learning skills to regulate their thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Every experience is creating new neural connections that build their brain’s capacity to handle life’s challenges. Strategies for self-regulation, social and emotional well-being, and growth mindset can have a profoundly positive impact on teens by helping them develop positive outlooks and habits. And while mistakes are inevitable, teens are perfectly poised to learn from their errors and bounce back.

Frances Jensen tells her readers that, despite the bad hair dye and countless other mishaps, she and her son made it through his teen years just fine. “Yes, you can survive your teenagers’ adolescence,” she says. “And so can they. And you will have a lot of stories to tell after it’s all over.”

Lucero is developing a gamified app to help teens begin their adventure to self-discovery. Sign up here to get early access to this innovative youth-driven, spirit-infused technology.