1. Help them get out of their comfort zone.

Adolescence is supposed to be a time of exploration, according to Project Wayfinder founder Patrick Cook-Deegan. “Young people do not usually develop a specific purpose and then go become an expert in that thing,” Cook-Deegan says. “Rather, they are exposed to something new that helps them develop their own sense of purpose. In short, in most cases experiences lead to developing purpose, not the other way around.” That means the more new experiences your teen has, the better. Cook-Deegan suggests wilderness programs, travel abroad and service-learning experiences for teens, but even everyday adventures and challenges can spark a new perspective. Think about how you can make trying new things fun for the whole family and support your teen in going for big goals. Each exploration will teach them more about who they are and how they can contribute.

2. Support them in standing up for themselves.

Last year, eleven-year-old Riley realized that her female friends were getting written up for dress code violations way more often than boys, and that made her mad. She talked to her mom Laurel and a supportive teacher, and they came up with a plan for Riley and her friends to write their recommendations for a fairer dress code and present them to the principal. “They made the point that girls shouldn’t have to feel shame about their bodies and got some changes made to a long-outdated dress code,” Laurel says proudly. “Now Riley feels powerful; she knows her voice counts and if something doesn’t sit well with her, she can speak up to change it.” If something is bothering your teen, it’s likely impacting others, too. Instead of getting stuck in frustration, they can use their perspective to promote positive change for everyone involved.

3. Take action together.

We all want to protect kids from life’s harsh realities, but teens are well-aware of the challenges – from climate change to gun violence – affecting their generation. A more empowering approach is to talk openly with your teen about issues they feel anxious about and find a way to take action together. Ask your teen for their opinion on current events and follow up with thoughtful questions. Be careful not to impose your own views or minimize theirs. Conversations like these help teens realize that their perspectives matter: a big first step in feeling like they can make a difference. If they are interested in a particular issue, find ways to get involved together, like attending a march, writing letters or volunteering for a cause or campaign. Great questions to ask: What do you think would make a difference here? How can I support you in taking action? Could we do something about this together? 

4. Elevate empathy.

Some of the most heroic teens are those who quietly spread empathy wherever they go: inviting the new kid to eat lunch with them, carrying groceries for an elderly neighbor, or offering a listening ear when friends are having a hard time. In the current epidemic of loneliness and mental health challenges, being kind and compassionate is one of the most powerful ways to make a difference in the lives of others. Remind your teen that these small acts of kindness may literally be life-saving, and they’re helping to build a culture of compassion in their schools and communities. By the way, research shows this prosocial behavior produces exponential benefits for both givers and receivers. It reduces stress, increases feelings of gratitude and belonging, and boosts overall mental health: a win-win for everyone.

1. Befriend your brain.

To turn an action into a habit, the brain needs repetition and reward. Repetition means doing an action enough times that it’s easily done without thinking, like brushing your teeth. But to really make a new habit take hold, we need to feel a sense of satisfaction, too. When we expect something good to happen, the brain releases dopamine, a feel-good chemical that makes us want more. That’s why rewarding ourselves – even with something as simple as a fist bump or five-minute break – helps us lock in healthy new habits. Make it easy to repeat your new habit and be sure to reward yourself each time. Your brain will associate the new behavior with feelings of satisfaction, motivating you to keep up the good work.

2. Start small.

“Creating tiny positive habits is the path to developing much bigger ones,” says Stanford behavior scientist B.J. Fogg. “…If you want to create long-term change, start small.” We often don’t stick to healthy habits simply because we take on too much. Fogg suggests starting with actions so small they might seem insignificant at first, like 30 seconds of a new activity. That helps you quickly wire the new habit into your brain. “The more stressed you are and the less time you have, the more appropriate this method is for you,” Fogg says. Make your new habit bite-sized and let it grow from there.

3. Stay motivated by loving yourself. 

If feeling good motivates us to stay with a healthy habit, it makes sense that feeling bad has the opposite effect. Writer Carina Wolff says, “As part of cultivating a healthy mind and body, we need to start… participating in habits that encourage self-love.” What do self-love habits look like? You can find lots of ideas in Lucero, a gamified wellness app for tweens, teens and their Crew (that means you!) It’s like a daily vitamin for self-care habits like mindfulness, positive self-talk and connecting with yourself and others. Loving yourself makes you happier and inspires you to go for your goals.

4. Design systems for success.

In the book Atomic Habits, author James Clear says we can set ourselves up for success by designing systems that support our goals. “Goals are about the results you want to achieve. Systems are about the processes that lead to those results,” says Clear. If your goal is to exercise daily, how can you make it easier and more fun to get your workout in? Keep your gym bag in the car. Download an upbeat playlist. Invite friends and family members to join you for hikes or pickleball. Think about how you will deal with setbacks, too: What are your backup plans and motivators for down days? How will you handle competing commitments? Simplify success by planning in advance.

5. Know your ABCs. B.J. Fogg provides a simple recipe for successful habits: Anchor–Behavior–Celebration. An anchor is an existing routine that serves as a reminder for the behavior (your new habit):

• After I sit down at my desk, I will take three slow, deep breaths.
• After I brush my teeth, I will do two push ups.

Celebration is any action that gives you a sense of completion and satisfaction, like giving yourself a pat on the back or saying, “I’m awesome!” Fogg’s formula is all about making new habits sustainable, so our brains get better at adapting to change. And science says that’s the best way to build healthy habits: one tiny step at a time.