Self-care can be physical, like getting enough sleep and moving your body, mental, like practicing gratitude and self-reflection, or emotional, like learning to self-regulate big feelings and strengthening relationships. Psychologists and behavior scientists say the best way to make self-care a habit is to start small: set a goal, find an action that supports it, and practice that action for just a few minutes each day until it becomes a part of your routine. The more practice teens have, the more easily they’ll be able to navigate transitions. Here’s how those healthy habits help:

1. Healthy habits keep teens on track. 

For millennia, explorers searched the skies for the guiding light of Polaris, the North Star, which identified true north. When they spotted the star, they knew if they were drifting off course. Teens in transition need a North Star, too – habits that remind them who they are when they’re at their best. A recent study from the University of Georgia found that teens with healthy habits like regular mealtimes, consistent bedtimes and after-school schedules reported greater self-control and emotional well-being, among other benefits. The study’s authors say that all teens experience dramatic neurological, biological and social changes during adolescence, and healthy habits provide a foundation of stability that makes it easier for them to deal with change.

2. Healthy habits reduce teens’ stress.

Stress is a major risk factor for mental health disorders like anxiety and depression, and teen stress levels are at an all-time high. According to psychologist Matt Bellace, transitions are especially tough for teens because “the teenage brain is generally more anxious than the adult brain… due to the rapid development of the amygdala, a brain structure involved in emotional expression, compared to the slower development of brain areas involved in decision making and reasoning.” Healthy habits like regular exercise, connection with others, and practices to develop emotional resilience are proven to build a buffer against stress. In the University of Georgia study, for example, researchers found that teens with consistent healthy routines had lower levels of the stress hormone epinephrine.

3. Healthy habits help teens reach their goals. 

Transitions are smoother when teens have a goal to work towards. When a challenge or change comes up, teens can ask, “Where do I want to go from here?” and set micro-goals to get closer to their big goal one step at a time. Healthy habits help teens identify the support they need and give it to themselves. A transition like making new friends can seem scary until teens break it down into simple steps like sitting in a new place at lunch, talking to one new person at school, or joining a club or activity that interests them. As those actions become habitual, teens take baby steps toward their goal until they attain it. Even better, they learn how to use the same process to achieve anything they set their minds to.

To help your teen navigate transitions and turn adolescence into an adventure, download Lucero. It’s a gamified wellness app that builds emotional regulation skills and self-care habits in just a few minutes a day. Lucero is the most fun and engaging way for teens to gain healthy habits with bite-sized content co-created by experts and tweens and teens themselves.

1. Befriend your brain.

To turn an action into a habit, the brain needs repetition and reward. Repetition means doing an action enough times that it’s easily done without thinking, like brushing your teeth. But to really make a new habit take hold, we need to feel a sense of satisfaction, too. When we expect something good to happen, the brain releases dopamine, a feel-good chemical that makes us want more. That’s why rewarding ourselves – even with something as simple as a fist bump or five-minute break – helps us lock in healthy new habits. Make it easy to repeat your new habit and be sure to reward yourself each time. Your brain will associate the new behavior with feelings of satisfaction, motivating you to keep up the good work.

2. Start small.

“Creating tiny positive habits is the path to developing much bigger ones,” says Stanford behavior scientist B.J. Fogg. “…If you want to create long-term change, start small.” We often don’t stick to healthy habits simply because we take on too much. Fogg suggests starting with actions so small they might seem insignificant at first, like 30 seconds of a new activity. That helps you quickly wire the new habit into your brain. “The more stressed you are and the less time you have, the more appropriate this method is for you,” Fogg says. Make your new habit bite-sized and let it grow from there.

3. Stay motivated by loving yourself. 

If feeling good motivates us to stay with a healthy habit, it makes sense that feeling bad has the opposite effect. Writer Carina Wolff says, “As part of cultivating a healthy mind and body, we need to start… participating in habits that encourage self-love.” What do self-love habits look like? You can find lots of ideas in Lucero, a gamified wellness app for tweens, teens and their Crew (that means you!) It’s like a daily vitamin for self-care habits like mindfulness, positive self-talk and connecting with yourself and others. Loving yourself makes you happier and inspires you to go for your goals.

4. Design systems for success.

In the book Atomic Habits, author James Clear says we can set ourselves up for success by designing systems that support our goals. “Goals are about the results you want to achieve. Systems are about the processes that lead to those results,” says Clear. If your goal is to exercise daily, how can you make it easier and more fun to get your workout in? Keep your gym bag in the car. Download an upbeat playlist. Invite friends and family members to join you for hikes or pickleball. Think about how you will deal with setbacks, too: What are your backup plans and motivators for down days? How will you handle competing commitments? Simplify success by planning in advance.

5. Know your ABCs. B.J. Fogg provides a simple recipe for successful habits: Anchor–Behavior–Celebration. An anchor is an existing routine that serves as a reminder for the behavior (your new habit):

• After I sit down at my desk, I will take three slow, deep breaths.
• After I brush my teeth, I will do two push ups.

Celebration is any action that gives you a sense of completion and satisfaction, like giving yourself a pat on the back or saying, “I’m awesome!” Fogg’s formula is all about making new habits sustainable, so our brains get better at adapting to change. And science says that’s the best way to build healthy habits: one tiny step at a time.

Adolescence is the perfect time to develop conscious living skills because tweens and teens undergo brain changes that make them better at metacognition. Sometimes called “thinking about your thinking,” metacognition allows teens to be more aware of their thoughts, feelings, habits and behaviors and their power to change them. It can help teens make good decisions, choose healthy habits and live with greater self-awareness. Here are just a few of the ways conscious living benefits teens:

1. They know what matters most.

As teens begin to invest more in relationships with peers, they may feel pressured to go along with others over staying true to their own values and beliefs. Living consciously reminds teens that external approval doesn’t matter as much as feeling good about themselves. Above all, conscious living keeps teens aware that they always have a choice: they can consider all their options and make decisions based on what matters most to them.

1. They get goal-oriented.

The opposite of conscious living is going through life on autopilot, feeling lost or powerless to direct the course of your own life. It’s natural for teens to feel like they lack power at times, and many struggle to find a sense of direction and purpose. Conscious living empowers teens with tools to set goals and become more independent, responsible and self-motivated. They can define what success and fulfillment look like to them and chart their own course, one step at a time.

1. They can take charge, and let go.

Living consciously means taking charge of the things you have control over and letting go of the things you don’t. Teens learn that they are in charge of their own thoughts, words, behavior, choices and mistakes, and that they can’t control the thoughts, words, behavior, choices or mistakes of others. That helps them recognize when to take action and where they can change things. Then they respond to challenges by acting on what they can control, instead of getting frustrated by the things they can’t.

1. They grow their social-emotional intelligence. 

Being self-aware helps teens become more aware of others, too. Teens who practice conscious living are more likely to develop compassion, empathy and the ability to regulate emotions. Strong interpersonal skills help teens build healthy relationships and find a sense of belonging. Research shows that these solid connections with others provide powerful protection from depression, anxiety and other mental health disorders in teens.

1. They find an inner sanctuary.

Living consciously teaches healthy habits that help teens stay grounded in themselves, no matter what is going on in their outside lives or the world around them. From mindful breathing and positive self-talk to exercise and spending quality time with friends, teens learn to prioritize self-care and return to stabilizing routines whenever life gets tough. Having an inner sanctuary builds emotional resilience, protects teens’ mental health, and locks in positive practices they’ll take with them into adulthood.

…and here are some self-care tools we include in Lucero to help

To make living consciously a daily habit, teens need self-care reminders just like the rest of us. That’s why we built Lucero, a gamified wellness app built for teens and tweens. It includes personalized, teen-focused, therapist-approved suggestions for self-care, like:

• watching calming ASMR videos
• taking breaks to be active or go outside
• writing about a stressful situation and turning it into confetti

Each time teens try out a new self-care suggestion, they add more tools to their conscious living toolkit and build lasting healthy habits.

Teens who dream big have an optimistic outlook, and optimism in teens correlates with lower rates of depression and mood disorders and higher levels of goal setting, coping skills, and self-confidence. Optimism is a mindset that can be cultivated and helping your teen dream big is a great place to start. Here are some ways you can support your teen in reaching for the stars!

Expand their worldview.

Nothing helps teens dream big like being exposed to new experiences, places, people, and ideas. The teenage brain is wired to absorb information from diverse sources and weave it together in exciting ways. When introduced to something that inspires them, teens often experience states of awe and wonder that spark their creativity and shape their sense of what’s possible. Travel is a major motivator for many teens: a trip to a national park might get them curious about conservation, or a summer abroad might inspire them to become fluent in a foreign language. Volunteering and summer or after-school jobs also rank high for “a-ha” moments, as does exposure to art, music, history, nature, or new technology. It’s best to let your teen take the lead and tell you what they’re interested in learning, but don’t underestimate the power of the unexpected. One teen we talked to was surprised to fall in love with horticulture during a summer job on the farm of a family friend. The more new and diverse experiences you can share with them, the better.

Help them meet mentors.

Even teens who have one or more caring, engaged parents on their team can experience great benefits from mentorship. Mentors provide support and guidance and can help teens discover and nurture their passions. According to MENTOR, teens with a mentor are 55% less likely than their peers to skip a day of school, 78% more likely to volunteer, and a whopping 130% more likely to hold leadership positions. Lots of mentor relationships get started in informal ways, with relatives, neighbors, or family friends. If your teen is interested in a particular field, maybe you know someone with expertise in that area. Could your teen meet up to chat or spend a day shadowing them? Teens can also meet mentors through volunteer opportunities, jobs, and internships. Since teens may lack confidence in approaching adults, parents can help them identify organizations and people they would be excited to learn from, plan how they’ll reach out, and set goals to get the most out of the experience.

Seek out stories of inspiring teens.

A quick Google search is all it takes to discover almost endless examples of teens who are dreaming big and changing the world. Check out scientist and Time’s first Kid of the Year Gitanjali Rao, Klothes 4 Kids founder Nijel Murray, and punk band The Linda Lindas. Teens are inspiring others as entrepreneurs, activists, content creators, artists, gamers, and inventors. While they are making their mark in different ways, most say they started with a passion or curiosity and just decided to go for it. Peer role models inspire other teens to ask, “If they can do it, why not me?” Many share advice for other teens on how to take action via podcasts, YouTube videos, and TED Talks. Try watching or listening with your teen to spark a conversation about where their own passion and curiosity might lead. Note that lots of successful teens credit their parents for supporting them and helping them set their projects in motion.

Finally, and most importantly, help your teen discover and nurture their passion. Give them space to explore, try new things, and learn from any mistakes they make along the way. Let them know you’ll always be there to help and that nothing could make you prouder than cheering them on. And be an example of someone who’s not afraid to take risks to make your own dreams come true. Your teen probably has some ideas to inspire you, too! 

As bothersome as boredom can be to kids and parents alike, researchers say it has real benefits, especially for teens. When it’s understood and managed, boredom can boost brain connectivity, serve as a catalyst for positive change, and even motivate teens to reach their goals. With a little reframing, your teen can learn to navigate boredom and reap its rewards.

Five Types of Boredom

Boredom comes in five flavors, according to educational researcher Dr. Thomas Goetz and his team. When they studied boredom among high school and college students, they found the following:

• Indifferent boredom is the feeling of being disconnected from the external world, calm, and relaxed. Teens often experience this kind of boredom as “downtime.” It’s not necessarily negative.
• Calibrating boredom is less pleasant. This is when teens are aware that they’re bored and are open to change, but aren’t yet motivated to do anything about it. The discomfort builds until calibrating boredom becomes…
• Searching boredom: Teens become restless and frustrated and set out in search of something stimulating. If they don’t find something, searching boredom can turn into…
• Reactant boredom. Higher levels of arousal and discomfort can lead teens to act out, blame others, or attempt an “escape” from surrounding circumstances.
• Apathetic boredom is the fifth type and the most troubling, because it’s marked by feelings of depression and helplessness to change the situation.

Understanding the build-up of boredom helps teens and parents address it before it turns reactant or apathetic. The first three stages are where boredom’s secret strengths are found.

Boredom boosts brain connectivity

Researchers consider the downtime of indifferent boredom to be essential for accessing the brain’s default mode, a set of structures associated with mind-wandering, daydreaming, and creativity. When the default mode is active, regions of the brain begin to work together in new and different ways, stimulating innovation and problem solving. According to Manoush Zomorodi, author of Bored and Brilliant: How Spacing Out Can Unlock Your Most Productive and Creative Self, “This is when… our best, more original ideas get gestating, because we dip into profound and hidden reservoirs of emotion, memory, and thought. Many areas of the brain are lit up as we bring together past, present, and future to imagine entirely new realms and ways to do things.”

Ensure that your teen gets time to daydream by setting limits on screen time, making sure they’re not overscheduled, and setting a good example so they know that downtime is an important part of self-care.

Boredom is a catalyst for change

When too much downtime leads to discomfort, teens often turn their insights into inventive action. It may take a while, though, for them to realize they can change a situation. Calibrating and searching boredom provide the motivation to explore their options and reach outside their comfort zone. One mom we spoke to drew a direct line between her 16-year-old son’s super-boring summer and his decision to get a part-time job. “He realized that playing video games all day was not actually that enjoyable, and he complained about being bored for weeks. Then he suddenly decided to apply for a job at a supermarket. Now he’s working, he’s made a bunch of new friends, and he’s saving up to help buy his first car. I don’t think he would have even considered getting a job if he hadn’t been so bored first.”

Help your teen recognize that the discomfort of boredom can be fuel for finding fulfillment. And since the teenage brain doesn’t always make the most responsible decisions about how to handle boredom, parents can also set guardrails to steer kids towards positive pursuits.

Boredom builds executive function skills

Executive function includes problem solving, organization, and planning, skills teens need to set and work towards their goals. Recent research has found that boredom helps teens build executive function skills by motivating them to think about and plan for the future. Psychologists Shane W. Bench and Heather C. Lench say boredom’s purpose is “to encourage people to seek new goals and experiences.” Beyond motivation, boredom also stimulates autobiographical planning, or mapping out certain steps to reach a desired outcome. When teens are bored, they are more likely to notice the contrast between where they are and where they want to be, and then plan the steps needed to get closer to their goal.

Support your teen by asking them clarifying questions to help them see their big picture goals and the steps it might take to get there. Offer support and encouragement, but let them lead the way.

The next time you hear, “I’m bored!” consider how you can help your teen embrace boredom instead of looking for an immediate escape. With these new perspectives in mind, boredom could become the first step of their next big adventure.