1. Practice positive thinking.

Confident people are almost always optimists, and optimism starts with positive thinking. Optimism is “a state of hopefulness and confidence about the future,” says Positivity Project founder Mike Erwin. “It\’s also a state we can train ourselves to adopt. We can resist pessimism, assert control, and learn to appreciate setbacks as what they really are–opportunities.” To help your teen think positively, make it a goal for the whole family to look at the bright side. That doesn’t mean ignoring problems; instead, it’s about keeping the focus on what you can control instead of what you can’t and proactively seeking solutions. Empower your teen to think creatively, solve problems and find opportunities, and their confidence will increase exponentially.

2. Get out of your comfort zone.

Confidence doesn’t mean you never feel fear, but it does mean you’re less likely to let fear hold you back. “Those who invite discomfort are able to achieve more, take more significant risks and break through barriers, and are open to facing new challenges,” says Angeli Gianchandani, founder of Mobility Girl, a platform designed to empower young people through mentorship. “Discomfort is a form of self-growth, pushing yourself mentally to overcome fear.” To help your teen lean into growth opportunities, encourage them to take risks to pursue their goals and find the lessons in mistakes and set-backs. Each time they get out of their comfort zone, they’re expanding their capacity for confidence.

3. Embrace self-care. 

Truly confident people practice self-compassion and self-care to stay strong. “Recent research has shown self-compassion was associated with self-worth,” says Michele Patterson Ford, Ph.D., a psychologist and senior lecturer in psychology at Dickinson College. “Knowing your value is an important component of feeling confident in oneself.” Self-care habits start with self-awareness, so teach your teen to check in with themselves mentally, physically and emotionally. When they know what they need, they can take steps to provide it for themselves or ask others for help. Self-care includes everything from exercising to getting enough sleep to making time to do the things you love to do. Whatever it means for your teen, make sure they know they’re worth it and support them when they take time to nurture themselves.

4. Connect with others.

Positive psychology pioneer and University of Michigan professor Christopher Peterson was famous for saying, \”I can sum up positive psychology in just three words: Other people matter.\” Numerous studies show a powerful reciprocal relationship between feeling connected to others and feeling good about ourselves. To help your teen gain confidence through connection, make sure they prioritize IRL time with friends and family. Encourage them to express gratitude and give them tools to resolve conflict. You can also make connections together by volunteering in the community. “One of the most practical ways to be more hopeful about the future is to realize that you can and do make a difference in people\’s lives,” says writer Bill Murphy, Jr. “By focusing on helping others, we gain the added benefit of increasing our own levels of happiness and optimism.”

To help your teen learn confidence-boosting healthy habits like these, download Lucero. It’s a gamified wellness app that builds emotional regulation skills and self-care habits in just a few minutes a day. Lucero is the most fun and engaging way for tweens and teens to gain healthy habits with bite-sized content co-created by experts and teens themselves.

What it is:

Oxford Languages defines gratitude as the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and return kindness. We all know what it means to be grateful, but brain changes are triggered by powerful emotions, not just words. Imagine your heart overflowing with gratitude for all of life’s blessings. The cascade of good feelings unleashes gratitude’s benefits.

How it works:

Numerous studies link gratitude to increased activity in the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for logic, learning, and decision making. Gratitude also increases serotonin and activates the production of dopamine, two neurotransmitters associated with happiness and well-being. Additional research correlates gratitude with feelings of positivity towards oneself and others and relief from stress.

Because the prefrontal cortex is developing until about age 25, teens process experiences with their more emotional limbic brains, especially the amygdala. That makes teens more susceptible to stress than adults: they don’t yet have the complete neurological framework to put things in perspective. A regular gratitude practice helps teens learn how to cultivate positive thoughts and emotions and shift their focus away from stressors. One study of adolescent victims of bullying even showed that gratitude lowered suicide risk among these vulnerable teens.

How to put it into practice:

Researchers say most teens (and adults!) need help making gratitude a habit. Consistency is key to shift the focus toward positive thoughts and feelings and away from negative ones. These four strategies are a great place to start:

• Share gratitude at mealtimes. 

Lots of families share something they’re grateful for when they sit down to dinner together. You can make this practice even more meaningful by helping to strengthen the emotional connection. For example, after each person has shared, take a moment to close your eyes, hold hands, and give thanks silently or out loud. Or specifically share things you’re grateful for in each other: “Sebastian, it warmed my heart when you helped your granddad get out of the car yesterday. I see how much you care about others and how thoughtful you are. Thank you.”

• Keep a gratitude journal together.

In one study, participants who wrote about their grateful feelings felt significantly happier about themselves and more optimistic about their lives. Writing is powerful because it gives teens time to reflect on and really feel the positive emotions which, in turn, helps support those healthy changes in the brain. To make the habit sustainable for tech-savvy teens, download the free Three Good Things gratitude app (developed by a 17-year-old) and make it a family goal to record and share your daily lists.

• Write gratitude letters.

Paper letters and thank you notes are quickly becoming a thing of the past, but there’s still something special about handwritten appreciation. Research has found that just by writing three letters of gratitude over time increased participants’ overall happiness and life satisfaction. Set an example by dropping a surprise note of gratitude in your teen’s backpack or writing all the things you love about them in their birthday card. Then keep a stack of thank you notes, envelopes and stamps on hand and encourage them to write notes to teachers, coaches, family members, friends, or mentors they feel grateful for. 

• Empower teens to spread gratitude to others. 

Gratitude is contagious in the best way: when we tell someone we’re grateful for them, they feel good, and they’re more likely to share those positive vibes with others. When your teen is in on the secret, they’re perfectly poised to spread gratitude and empathy among their friends and peers. Teach them that gratitude is a great way to support someone who’s feeling down or needs a confidence boost. Simply letting someone know, “I see you and I’m grateful for you” is one way teens can share the love with others– and make themselves feel great, too!