Why Being More Present is Key

Presence is another word for mindfulness: “the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.” Being more present is a practice made up of small daily habits, like focusing on your breath, taking pauses throughout the day, and reflecting on your thoughts and feelings. Each of these habits helps train the brain to stay focused on what’s happening now, instead of getting lost in past or future worries. Among adults, mindfulness is proven to reduce symptoms of anxiety, depression, and stress-related medical conditions like high blood pressure.

Teens need the stress-busting, health-boosting benefits of presence, too. Adolescent stress levels now rival those of adults, and nearly one in three teens will experience an anxiety disorder. Teens also report more difficulty with focus and emotional regulation than other age groups. While the reasons for these struggles are complex and individual, researchers agree they’re due to a unique combination of external stresses – like academic and social pressures – and internal changes that take place as teens’ brains mature. One major factor is that the prefrontal cortex– the part of the brain that’s responsible for reasoning, attention and impulse control– isn’t fully developed until about age 25. \”It\’s not the fault of teenagers that they can\’t concentrate and are easily distracted. It\’s to do with the structure of their brains,” says Dr. Iroise Dumontheil of University College London\’s Institute of Cognitive Neuroscience.

All teens benefit from tools to build daily habits that help them stay calm, focused and grounded. Here are three simple ways you and your teen can practice being more present each day:

1. Focus on your breath.

Mindful breathing is proven to reduce anxiety, improve focus and regulate intense emotions. When your teen is worried, distracted or struggling with difficult emotions, teach them to take a few slow, deep breaths and pay attention to the physical sensations of breathing. This activates the calming effects of the parasympathetic nervous system and connects the mind and body in the present moment.

2. Reframe negative thoughts and self-talk.

Emotions are closely linked to thoughts and self-talk. A thought like “I’m so stupid; I didn’t understand anything in that class,” leads to feelings of shame, anxiety and fear. Reframing teaches teens to notice their negative thoughts and self-talk and switch to a more positive, self-compassionate and empowering perspective: “I’m sure I’m not the only person who’s struggling. I know I can get this. I’ll ask my teacher for help tomorrow.”

3. Use Spark!

Spark is one of our favorite features of the Lucero wellness app. It makes it easy and fun for teens to check in with themselves and learn simple strategies for being more present. They just tap the emotion they’re feeling, spin the wheel and get personalized ideas for self-awareness and self-care. Best of all, teens can use Spark alone or with their Crew (any friends and family who radically support each other) to make practicing presence a part of their daily routine.

There\’s no one-size-fits-all answer to this problem, but caregivers can help by teaching teens how to build healthy habits. Whatever the cause of their stress, tweens and teens who take just a few minutes each day to practice supportive habits feel more in control, reduce their anxiety, and boost executive functioning skills so they handle stress more effectively. Here’s how healthy habits help teens manage stress and anxiety:

1. They focus on solutions, not problems.

Just like adults, teens who are overwhelmed fixate on negative thoughts and imagine worst-case scenarios. But the teenage brain is still developing, so it processes information differently. The prefrontal cortex –the part of the brain responsible for reasoning, planning and logic– isn’t fully developed until about age 25. Until then, adolescents rely more on the emotion- and impulse-driven limbic brain to make decisions. That means they’re more likely to get trapped in a downward spiral of emotional upset. Healthy habits teach teens to focus on the solution to a problem rather than the problem itself. Instead of getting stuck in negativity, they learn to ask, “What can I do that will help me out of this situation?”

2. They gain a toolkit of positive practices.

Healthy habits can be viewed as foundational coping skills, regardless of age or stage of life. They help us stay strong –no matter what stress we’re facing– by supporting our mental, physical and emotional well-being. The teen years introduce more complex emotions, relationships and responsibilities, so the more positive practices teens learn, the better. And because the teenage brain is still developing, anchoring in healthy habits now makes them more likely to become lifelong. Habits to focus on include positive practices around sleep, diet, exercise, self-care, connection to others and more. Each gives teens a more complete set of tools so they feel in control and capable of handling any source of stress.

3. They provide structure.

A recent study from the University of Georgia found that teens with regular mealtimes, bedtimes and after school schedules “reported less alcohol use, greater self-control and emotional well-being and higher rates of college enrollment in young adulthood.” Consistent routines also correlated with lower levels of the stress hormone epinephrine. Healthy habits provide stability as teens experience the seismic neurological, psychological, social and emotional changes of adolescence. A foundation of well-being equips teens to learn, grow and handle change without succumbing to anxiety.

4. They build resilience. 

Resilience comes from the Latin resilio, meaning “to jump” or “to bounce back.” Stress is inevitable, but teens can practice bouncing back from challenges and find opportunities for growth. When teens experience upset, healthy habits provide a foundation to fall back on: When I feel overwhelmed by my emotions, I know I need to take a break to just breathe and check in with myself. “When we are resilient, we not only adapt ourselves to stress and disappointments, we also grow the insight to avoid actions that might lead us to face such situations,” says writer Maduleena Chowdhury. Resilience leads to self-awareness, and the more self-aware teens are, the more easily they adapt to stress.

To give your teen the benefit of stress-busting healthy habits, download Lucero. It’s a gamified wellness app that builds emotional regulation skills and self-care habits in just a few minutes a day. Lucero is the most fun and engaging way for teens to gain healthy habits with bite-sized content co-created by experts and tweens and teens themselves.

Self-care can be physical, like getting enough sleep and moving your body, mental, like practicing gratitude and self-reflection, or emotional, like learning to self-regulate big feelings and strengthening relationships. Psychologists and behavior scientists say the best way to make self-care a habit is to start small: set a goal, find an action that supports it, and practice that action for just a few minutes each day until it becomes a part of your routine. The more practice teens have, the more easily they’ll be able to navigate transitions. Here’s how those healthy habits help:

1. Healthy habits keep teens on track. 

For millennia, explorers searched the skies for the guiding light of Polaris, the North Star, which identified true north. When they spotted the star, they knew if they were drifting off course. Teens in transition need a North Star, too – habits that remind them who they are when they’re at their best. A recent study from the University of Georgia found that teens with healthy habits like regular mealtimes, consistent bedtimes and after-school schedules reported greater self-control and emotional well-being, among other benefits. The study’s authors say that all teens experience dramatic neurological, biological and social changes during adolescence, and healthy habits provide a foundation of stability that makes it easier for them to deal with change.

2. Healthy habits reduce teens’ stress.

Stress is a major risk factor for mental health disorders like anxiety and depression, and teen stress levels are at an all-time high. According to psychologist Matt Bellace, transitions are especially tough for teens because “the teenage brain is generally more anxious than the adult brain… due to the rapid development of the amygdala, a brain structure involved in emotional expression, compared to the slower development of brain areas involved in decision making and reasoning.” Healthy habits like regular exercise, connection with others, and practices to develop emotional resilience are proven to build a buffer against stress. In the University of Georgia study, for example, researchers found that teens with consistent healthy routines had lower levels of the stress hormone epinephrine.

3. Healthy habits help teens reach their goals. 

Transitions are smoother when teens have a goal to work towards. When a challenge or change comes up, teens can ask, “Where do I want to go from here?” and set micro-goals to get closer to their big goal one step at a time. Healthy habits help teens identify the support they need and give it to themselves. A transition like making new friends can seem scary until teens break it down into simple steps like sitting in a new place at lunch, talking to one new person at school, or joining a club or activity that interests them. As those actions become habitual, teens take baby steps toward their goal until they attain it. Even better, they learn how to use the same process to achieve anything they set their minds to.

To help your teen navigate transitions and turn adolescence into an adventure, download Lucero. It’s a gamified wellness app that builds emotional regulation skills and self-care habits in just a few minutes a day. Lucero is the most fun and engaging way for teens to gain healthy habits with bite-sized content co-created by experts and tweens and teens themselves.

• Link habits to big goals.

The goals that matter most to teens can inspire them to stick with healthy habits. Because of their stage of brain development, teens often live moment-to-moment instead of planning progress towards their goals. But when teens know that achievement depends on specific, consistent efforts, they’re more likely to develop goal-supporting habits like eating healthy to boost athletic performance or getting enough sleep when they have a big test. Talk to your teen often about what they dream about and what sparks their curiosity. Then help them connect everyday choices to their long-term goals and evaluate whether or not their current habits are likely to lead to success.

• Identify keystone habits.

Certain routines can lead to a cascade of other positive habits. For example, when Sara’s fourteen-year-old daughter Zoe joined the cross country team, she suddenly started asking for healthier snacks and going to bed earlier so she could be at her best for morning practice. Sara says, “I literally said, ‘Who are you and what have you done with Zoe?’ but I’m amazed at how motivated she is to take care of her body now.” According to author Charles Duhigg, keystone habits start \”chain reactions that help other good habits take hold.” When your teen has a goal they care about, help them identify one or two new habits to ensure success. Once they get started, they may find that the momentum leads to lots more positive change.

• Create the right context.

Teens, like adults, often wrestle with self-judgment and frustration when they’re trying to create a healthy habit or let go of an unhealthy one. They may genuinely want to make better choices but find that it’s just too hard to go for a run when their friends want to play video games or snack on carrot sticks instead of Takis. Remind teens that habits form because our brains like to make things easy and efficient. To instill a new habit we need to make it as simple as possible to do the desired behavior and as hard as possible to do the undesired behavior. That might mean keeping a pair of running shoes by the front door, clearing unhealthy snacks out of the pantry and fridge, or setting up a distraction-free study zone. Help your teen brainstorm how to make healthy habits so easy they don’t have to think about it.

• Take advantage of positive peer pressure.

Positive peer pressure is more about encouragement and support than it is about actual pressure. When teens know their friends support them and want them to be the best version of themselves, it helps them commit to healthier habits. Seventeen-year-old Nicole says, “When I’m trying to do better with a habit, I get one of my friends to do it with me. Like, right now my friend and I are trying to drink water instead of soda. We remind each other to always bring our water bottles and it’s easier to not drink soda if I know we’re doing it together.” Teens also benefit from positive peer pressure when they take part in team sports and group academic and extracurricular activities. Working towards shared goals with peers is extra-motivating and encourages teens to develop lasting positive habits.

• Choose the right kind of reward.

We’d all love our teens to make healthy choices based on intrinsic motivation– doing something because it is satisfying in and of itself– instead of extrinsic motivation, or doing something because a reward is expected. But researchers agree that incentives can help people get into the groove when forming a new habit. Help your teen pick something enjoyable they can reward themselves with each time they complete a desired task, like ten minutes of game time when they finish their homework or workout. To build self-efficacy, make sure the reward is something your teen can do for themselves. That way, they’re completely responsible for self-motivation and monitoring their own progress. The right reward gives teens something to look forward to until the sense of accomplishment kicks in to keep them going.