1. Get more comfortable being alone.

Paradoxically, the answer to loneliness isn’t always found in the company of others. Tweens and teens with high self esteem know how to find fulfillment alone, and everyone needs some solo-time for rest and self-care. How much time alone is healthy? There’s no one-size-fits-all formula. It depends on the individual and what feels right to them. Tweens and teens can practice doing activities they enjoy by themselves, like making art, journaling or cooking. Reframe time alone as a chance to deepen your relationship with yourself and practice being your own best friend.

2. Look around for others who are lonely, too.

According to the Surgeon General, the U.S. is currently experiencing an epidemic of loneliness that affects all ages, genders, and other demographics. That means a lot of people are craving connection, so encourage tweens and teens to take the initiative and reach out to others. Is there someone at school who seems interesting but shy? A neighbor who lives alone and could use a hand with errands? Teach tweens and teens the power of giving what you want to receive. Each time they help someone else feel less lonely, they’ll build confidence and connection.

3. Tackle loneliness as a family.

Loneliness is not just an individual issue. Families these days tend to be smaller and live further apart from each other than in previous generations, which can leave everyone feeling isolated. Talk to your tween or teen about how you can build a stronger network of support that benefits the whole family. That might mean starting a neighborhood block party, inviting your crew for regular dinners or game nights, or volunteering together for a cause you care about. Make it a family goal to expand your circle of relationships so everyone can experience more meaningful connections.

4. Don’t compare yourself to others.

It’s normal for teens and tweens to compare their social lives to others’, but remember that we don’t see the whole truth from the outside. It may seem like everyone else is living their best life while you’re home alone, bored and scrolling through TikTok. But social media allows people to share only what they want to about themselves, so a lot of what we see is an illusion. If social media is increasing feelings of loneliness, take a break. Make in-person plans with a friend or family member, or do something that makes you feel good in the moment, like going for a walk in nature.

5. Pick a social goal and stick with it.

Because the adolescent brain is still developing, it’s harder for tweens and teens to put things into perspective. It really does feel like they’ll never make friends, or that they’ll always feel alone and awkward. To combat the tendency to catastrophize, pick one connection-related goal– like making a new friend, joining a club, or finding a volunteer opportunity– and stick with it. Break it down into micro-goals, figure out where they need your support, and celebrate every step. Each time tweens and teens take action to care for themselves, reach out to others, and strengthen relationships, they create a personalized blueprint for dealing with loneliness. Instead of fearing being alone, they learn how to proactively cultivate connection to themselves and others.

1. It’s the antidote to an epidemic of loneliness.

Three in five Americans suffer from loneliness, according to a recent survey by the Cigna Group. Even more troubling is that young adults aged 18-24 reported loneliness at twice the levels of older adults. “Chronic loneliness is as destructive to our bodies and health as smoking a pack of cigarettes a day,” says Geoffrey Cohen. High levels of loneliness correlate with deaths of despair– deaths caused by addiction to alcohol, painkillers or other drugs, or by suicide. Ultimately, researchers say these losses are attributable to the social pain of feeling disconnected. The more supportive connections teens have with family, friends and others, the bigger their safety net.

2. It nurtures teens’ sense of identity.

The most important job of the teen years is crafting an identity, or sense of self. Teens are figuring out who they are as individuals and where they fit with their family and society. But while identity is all about defining our individual selves, how we feel about ourselves depends almost entirely on our relationships with others. A recent study found that positive social relationships, social support and social acceptance help shape the development of self-esteem. In short, to feel good about themselves, teens need to know they matter to others.

3. It creates a neurological blueprint for positivity.

All sources of connection, from close relationships to everyday interactions with acquaintances and strangers, contribute to the development of the teenage brain. In the book Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships, researcher Daniel Goleman writes, “Even our most routine encounters act as regulators in the brain, priming our emotions, some desirable, others not. The more strongly connected we are with someone emotionally, the greater the mutual force.” When teens have multiple resources for kindness, care and support, their brains develop neural pathways for positive emotions like confidence, security and compassion.

4. It helps them be more authentic.

To feel a sense of belonging, teens need to know they are loved for who they are, including all of their imperfections. Tweens and teens often think that they have to fit in to belong, but as Brené Brown writes in The Gifts of Imperfection, “Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging… doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.” When teens know they belong no matter what, it gives them the courage to be more authentic in every situation. They can own their strength and vulnerability, their triumphs and struggles, and all the qualities that make them unique.

Want to make sure your teen gets the benefits of belonging and connection? Lucero is a safe space for teens and tweens to just be themselves and connect with others who radically support them. Teens can invite up to seven friends and family members to join them on their self-care journey. Crew members cheer each other on, support each other on the hard days, and grow connections with themselves and each other. Lucero is the most fun and engaging wellness app for emotional regulation, with bite-sized activities that are co-created with youth, backed by clinical therapists, and take just a few minutes each day.