1. Change your definition of success.

Lots of teens excel academically and shine in extracurricular activities but feel stressed all the time. According to the nonprofit organization Challenge Success, 56% of teens say their stress about school has increased since the pandemic. The five major stressors they cited are grades, tests and other assessments, overall workload, lack of sleep, and time management. These teens are on track to experience burnout, characterized by irritability, sleep-deprivation, exhaustion, near-constant anxiety, and loss of motivation. In other words, without self-care teens eventually won’t be able to maintain their level of success. To protect your teen from burnout, uplevel your own understanding of success to include well-being that’s sustainable over the long-term. Then make sure your teen knows that’s what matters most to you.

2. Teach them a variety of techniques.

Each teen’s nervous system, stress-triggers, schedule and circumstances are different, so there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to self-care. Support your teen by teaching them a variety of techniques that can be used whenever and wherever they are needed. To start, try equipping your teen with these meditation and mindfulness apps, stress strategies and time management tools. Help them stick to healthy routines for mealtimes and bedtimes and get plenty of exercise. Challenge Success emphasizes the importance of playtime, downtime and family time for kids of all ages. The more tools teens have, the more likely they’ll be to remember and reach for the right one.

3. Schedule self-care.

To learn how to manage stress, teens need to be proactive in their self-care. That means not waiting until they’re super-stressed to do something nourishing for themselves. Teens are just as busy as their parents, and as we all know, it’s easy to leave self-care as the last thing on the to-do list. The best way to ensure a regular self-care practice is to schedule it. A good goal is to schedule at least one self-care commitment each day. It can change based on how your teen is feeling, and may include everything from going for a run, calling a friend, watching funny videos, taking a karate class or reading a book for fun. The important thing is that it alleviates stress and makes your teen feel good.

4. Say “no” and set boundaries.

Sometimes self-care is not about doing more – it’s about doing less. When they feel stressed, teach your teen to ask themselves if there’s something they could do less of, let go of, or say “no” to. Setting boundaries takes practice, so help your teen think through their priorities and the pros and cons of each situation. Remind them that boundaries aren’t so much about keeping people or experiences out; they’re more about protecting and prioritizing their own well-being so they can keep showing up as their best self. Boundaries are an important part of self-care because they teach teens how to care for and respect  themselves and others, meet expectations, and create physical and emotional safety. And there’s no better formula for success.

There\’s no one-size-fits-all answer to this problem, but caregivers can help by teaching teens how to build healthy habits. Whatever the cause of their stress, tweens and teens who take just a few minutes each day to practice supportive habits feel more in control, reduce their anxiety, and boost executive functioning skills so they handle stress more effectively. Here’s how healthy habits help teens manage stress and anxiety:

1. They focus on solutions, not problems.

Just like adults, teens who are overwhelmed fixate on negative thoughts and imagine worst-case scenarios. But the teenage brain is still developing, so it processes information differently. The prefrontal cortex –the part of the brain responsible for reasoning, planning and logic– isn’t fully developed until about age 25. Until then, adolescents rely more on the emotion- and impulse-driven limbic brain to make decisions. That means they’re more likely to get trapped in a downward spiral of emotional upset. Healthy habits teach teens to focus on the solution to a problem rather than the problem itself. Instead of getting stuck in negativity, they learn to ask, “What can I do that will help me out of this situation?”

2. They gain a toolkit of positive practices.

Healthy habits can be viewed as foundational coping skills, regardless of age or stage of life. They help us stay strong –no matter what stress we’re facing– by supporting our mental, physical and emotional well-being. The teen years introduce more complex emotions, relationships and responsibilities, so the more positive practices teens learn, the better. And because the teenage brain is still developing, anchoring in healthy habits now makes them more likely to become lifelong. Habits to focus on include positive practices around sleep, diet, exercise, self-care, connection to others and more. Each gives teens a more complete set of tools so they feel in control and capable of handling any source of stress.

3. They provide structure.

A recent study from the University of Georgia found that teens with regular mealtimes, bedtimes and after school schedules “reported less alcohol use, greater self-control and emotional well-being and higher rates of college enrollment in young adulthood.” Consistent routines also correlated with lower levels of the stress hormone epinephrine. Healthy habits provide stability as teens experience the seismic neurological, psychological, social and emotional changes of adolescence. A foundation of well-being equips teens to learn, grow and handle change without succumbing to anxiety.

4. They build resilience. 

Resilience comes from the Latin resilio, meaning “to jump” or “to bounce back.” Stress is inevitable, but teens can practice bouncing back from challenges and find opportunities for growth. When teens experience upset, healthy habits provide a foundation to fall back on: When I feel overwhelmed by my emotions, I know I need to take a break to just breathe and check in with myself. “When we are resilient, we not only adapt ourselves to stress and disappointments, we also grow the insight to avoid actions that might lead us to face such situations,” says writer Maduleena Chowdhury. Resilience leads to self-awareness, and the more self-aware teens are, the more easily they adapt to stress.

To give your teen the benefit of stress-busting healthy habits, download Lucero. It’s a gamified wellness app that builds emotional regulation skills and self-care habits in just a few minutes a day. Lucero is the most fun and engaging way for teens to gain healthy habits with bite-sized content co-created by experts and tweens and teens themselves.

Burnout affects teens physically, mentally, and emotionally and causes changes in behavior. Physical symptoms include fatigue, lowered immunity, more frequent illness, changes in appetite and sleep, and chronic headaches or upset stomachs. Stressed teens may struggle with focus and concentration, engage in risky behavior, or act irritable, moody, or cynical.

They describe feelings of anxiety, dread, self-doubt, and hopelessness. They often withdraw from friends, family, and activities they once enjoyed. And while any teen is susceptible to burnout, high-achieving and perfectionistic teens experience it at higher rates. If the causes of a teen’s stress don’t change, burnout’s symptoms can go into a downward spiral, worsening over time.

It’s a scary scenario for parents, but researchers remind us that burnout always has an identifiable cause, and therefore can be resolved. “Oftentimes, burnout and depression can mirror each other,” says psychologist Adam Borland. “However, depression is a diagnosable mental health condition, whereas burnout is not.” Depression is generalized and often has no specific cause, but burnout happens in response to one or multiple stressors.

This means that parents and teens can work together to identify the sources of stress and alleviate it. Better yet, parents can use these six strategies to help their teens manage stress and avoid burnout altogether:

Set a positive example. 

Burnout is contagious. If you’re working 12-hour days, feeling overwhelmed all the time, and experiencing the ill effects of chronic stress, your teen is likely feeling it, too. Parents who don’t address their own burnout teach teens that unhealthy stress levels are normal or even a badge of honor. To help your teen, help yourself first. Make sure your teen sees you prioritizing your own well-being and making time for rest, relaxation, exercise, and fun.

Integrate stress management into family time. 

Managing stress often comes down to maintaining healthy habits, and teens learn those habits at home. Routines are stabilizing, so encourage your teen to wake up, go to bed, and eat meals around the same time each day. Other stress-busting habits include regular exercise, boundaries on screen time, and in person social connections with friends and family. Try cooking dinner together one  night a week, planning a regular hike or bike ride, or scheduling shared downtime one weekend a month.

Talk about feelings. 

Burnout’s most harmful consequences show up when teens feel unsupported and alone. Keeping the lines of communication open with your teen helps them process stress and talk through problems before they become critical. Let your teen know their feelings matter and help them develop a robust vocabulary for talking about emotions and stress. Remind them that their well-being is more important to you than their achievements. Above all, be willing to listen, empathize, and ask how you can help.

Be ready to offer support strategies. 

Burned-out teens often say they feel like life is out of control and there’s no way to stop the stress. Teens are learning how to manage new levels of responsibility and independence, and some of their overwhelm is due to the unfamiliarity of juggling it all. Parents can help by providing support strategies like time management tools and mindfulness and meditation apps, or practices like journaling, yoga, or affirmations. What helps you manage your stress? The same techniques may be useful to your teen.

Teach them how to say “no”. 

To avoid burnout, teens must learn how to make choices about their time and energy, and that means saying “no” sometimes. But, just like adults, teens worry that saying “no” will cost them friendships and opportunities, and they may feel guilty for prioritizing themselves. Help your teen practice evaluating requests before they respond and saying “no” in a way that feels authentic and honest. Make sure they’re well-equipped to set boundaries on their time and energy, so they can prioritize what matters most.

Help them learn to take breaks. 

It sounds simple, but today’s teens rarely get a real break. Digital devices and social media make it so that what passes for downtime often actually raises teens’ stress levels. You can remind them to recharge their batteries with rest and self-care whenever they start to feel drained. For ideas, see our posts on how to help your teen unplug and our favorite mini-meditations. These techniques help your teen manage day-to-day stresses, stay centered, and keep burnout at bay.

Researchers attribute rising teen stress levels to the same factors that drive adult stress, including unrealistic expectations and unrelenting pressure to succeed. Between homework, extracurricular activities, jobs, friends, and family, teens’ schedules are often just as packed as those of their parents.

One stress strategy that’s often overlooked for teens is simply… simplifying. With these six ideas, parents can help teens stress less, find fulfillment, and embrace the idea that sometimes, less is more.

1. Know what matters most. Simplifying our lives is about making more room for the things that are important to us and letting go of the things that aren\’t. To do that, we have to know what we value and what gives our lives meaning. Talking with your teen about what is important to them – and to the whole family – is a foundational step in helping them figure out what to keep and what to let go. These talks don’t have to be super-serious. Questions like, “If you could only choose one ____ or ____, what would you pick?” are light-hearted openers that invite deeper conversations. Teens are more likely to embrace simplification if you keep the emphasis on fun and fulfillment.

2. Create morning and evening routines. Stress thrives on chaos. One of the first places to simplify is the times that tend to get chaotic for busy families: the start and end of each day. Planning an advance-prep evening routine makes mornings go more smoothly. Teens can get in the habit of choosing clothes or putting lunch together so they don’t have to think about it when they’re rushing to get ready. Other ideas for routines include creating a bathroom schedule and weekly menu, setting up a family charging station, synchronizing transportation, and leaving gym bags, instrument cases, and backpacks packed and by the door.

3. Clear the clutter. When teens can’t find their homework or favorite hoodie because their room is always a disaster, it’s time for a clutter clean-out. Clutter makes it hard for teens to think clearly, focus, and accomplish tasks. Instead of targeting only your teen’s space, make it a whole-house project. Take turns picking music to make it fun. Label bags or bins for items to keep, toss, or donate, and let your teen choose a favorite charity to receive donated items. Once the clutter is cleared, consider an organization upgrade. Tons of colorful, fun organization options are available for teens, from rolling carts to desktop organizers to technology docking stations.

4. Reduce choices. We all feel overwhelmed when we have too many options to choose from (as any shopper staring at a wall of toothpaste or toilet paper will tell you). But it\’s developmentally important for teens to have choices, along with the increased autonomy and responsibility of making them. Parents can strike a balance by filtering their teen’s options. For example, “We have the bandwidth for you to do two extracurriculars this year; which two are you really excited about?” or “We can have eggs or smoothies for breakfast; your choice.” Teens can always speak up if they want something that’s not offered, but often they’re happy to have some of the pressure to decide taken off their plate.

5. Teach your teen to say ‘no.’ It sounds simple, but saying ‘no’ can be tough for teens. Reasons include fear of conflict, confrontation, disappointing others, or classic FOMO. But teens need to learn how to set healthy boundaries for themselves, and that means getting comfortable saying ‘no’ sometimes. Teach teens to stop and check in with themselves before automatically agreeing to a new invitation or activity. Does it feel fun, interesting, or important? Does it conflict with a previous commitment? Is there something they would rather be doing? Are they feeling any pressure from themselves or others? Helping them access their internal compass makes it easier for them to say no when they need to.

6. Create a family downtime ritual. As always, parents must model the behavior they want kids to embrace. One way to make simplicity more meaningful is to schedule consistent family time – maybe every Thursday night or Sunday afternoon – and intentionally dial down the intensity. Play board games, watch a movie, or make dinner together, but keep it relaxed and low-key. You might agree to silence your cell phones or turn off notifications and just focus on enjoying each other’s company. This lets your teen know that no matter how busy life gets, some things are sacred, and choosing to do and have a little less gives us a lot more of what matters most.

Simplifying can feel like a radical way to parent because we live in a culture in which “busyness” is a badge of success. But, the rising numbers of teens navigating stress and mental health challenges affirm that opportunities to help your teen simplify and focus are far more likely to assure their success.