• Trauma Stress

Teens are more vulnerable to stress because of brain changes that take place during adolescence. A study published in the journal Neuroscience found that exposure to stress in the teen years is linked to increased likelihood of anxiety, depression and other mental health disorders, and the effects can last well into adulthood. Researchers think that’s because stress changes how the limbic and cortical regions of teens’ brains develop. Intense stress in adolescence may have a more lasting effect on mental health than stress experienced in adulthood, and teens may need more support getting back to their baseline.

• Broken Connections

A sense of belonging and connection is crucial during the teen years, so school closures, isolation and everyday disruptions to their social lives have had a lasting impact on teens’ mental health. \”They\’ve been cut off from their peers, which is critical for youth to develop that sense of identity, which this stage is really all about,\” says Sandra DeJong, MD, MSc, a child-and-adolescent psychiatrist. The impact of broken connections is felt in different ways: Teens may worry about their safety or the safety of family members, fear future threats to their friendships, or experience increased loneliness or social anxiety. 

• Limits on Their Identity

The teen years are when young people start to craft their identity by figuring out their values, interests and the qualities that make them who they are. Almost everything teens do becomes part of that exploration, from school and friendships to hobbies and after-school jobs. Milestones are also important for identity-formation because they validate teens as they take steps toward adulthood. The pandemic made it harder for teens to explore who they are by turning everyday life upside down and taking away events like graduations, team sports and other extracurricular activities. When teens grieve these losses, they feel they’ve missed out on a piece of who they were meant to become.

How to Help

While there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to dealing with long-term effects of the pandemic, these four steps offer strategic support for teens’ mental health:

1. Acknowledge when your teen is struggling. Let them know it’s not their fault and they are not alone. Teens went through a major global crisis when their brains were developmentally vulnerable, and they don’t have adult-level perspectives or coping skills yet. It’s totally normal for them to feel lasting effects and to need help addressing them.
2. Normalize talking about mental health and seeking support. Make sure neither you nor your teen feel like you have to fix things alone. Whether they’re dealing with anxiety, depression, grief or other pandemic-related stresses, a teen-focused licensed therapist can give your teen tools to understand their emotions and work towards realistic goals for well-being.
3. Make self-care a priority. According to the Mt. Sinai Adolescent Health Center, “Self-care refers to intentionally engaging in practices and activities that reduce stress.” It looks different for everybody, but here’s a hint: hours spent scrolling on social media or playing video games are not self-care. Instead, think about mindful breathing, moving your body, being creative, having in-person fun with friends and family, and anything else that helps your teen stay grounded.
4. Help them see their resilience. While we acknowledge the impact of the pandemic, let’s also celebrate teens for being resilient. Surviving hard things teaches us how to be tough, capable and compassionate. By overcoming challenges, we learn how to solve problems and realize what really matters. Remind your teen that even if they’re still struggling, they are also strong. Point out how much they’ve learned and all the positive ways their experiences have shaped who they’re becoming. Resilience helps teens cultivate hope and look forward to a brighter future.

1. Change your definition of success.

Lots of teens excel academically and shine in extracurricular activities but feel stressed all the time. According to the nonprofit organization Challenge Success, 56% of teens say their stress about school has increased since the pandemic. The five major stressors they cited are grades, tests and other assessments, overall workload, lack of sleep, and time management. These teens are on track to experience burnout, characterized by irritability, sleep-deprivation, exhaustion, near-constant anxiety, and loss of motivation. In other words, without self-care teens eventually won’t be able to maintain their level of success. To protect your teen from burnout, uplevel your own understanding of success to include well-being that’s sustainable over the long-term. Then make sure your teen knows that’s what matters most to you.

2. Teach them a variety of techniques.

Each teen’s nervous system, stress-triggers, schedule and circumstances are different, so there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to self-care. Support your teen by teaching them a variety of techniques that can be used whenever and wherever they are needed. To start, try equipping your teen with these meditation and mindfulness apps, stress strategies and time management tools. Help them stick to healthy routines for mealtimes and bedtimes and get plenty of exercise. Challenge Success emphasizes the importance of playtime, downtime and family time for kids of all ages. The more tools teens have, the more likely they’ll be to remember and reach for the right one.

3. Schedule self-care.

To learn how to manage stress, teens need to be proactive in their self-care. That means not waiting until they’re super-stressed to do something nourishing for themselves. Teens are just as busy as their parents, and as we all know, it’s easy to leave self-care as the last thing on the to-do list. The best way to ensure a regular self-care practice is to schedule it. A good goal is to schedule at least one self-care commitment each day. It can change based on how your teen is feeling, and may include everything from going for a run, calling a friend, watching funny videos, taking a karate class or reading a book for fun. The important thing is that it alleviates stress and makes your teen feel good.

4. Say “no” and set boundaries.

Sometimes self-care is not about doing more – it’s about doing less. When they feel stressed, teach your teen to ask themselves if there’s something they could do less of, let go of, or say “no” to. Setting boundaries takes practice, so help your teen think through their priorities and the pros and cons of each situation. Remind them that boundaries aren’t so much about keeping people or experiences out; they’re more about protecting and prioritizing their own well-being so they can keep showing up as their best self. Boundaries are an important part of self-care because they teach teens how to care for and respect  themselves and others, meet expectations, and create physical and emotional safety. And there’s no better formula for success.

Social skills

One of the most critical aspects of teen resilience is social support: the feeling that they are loved, cared for, and belong with others. As teens navigate new levels of independence and responsibility, social skills empower them to take care of the relationships that matter most. Such skills include communicating clearly, listening with empathy, and resolving conflict. Parents can help by modeling emotional openness and clear, compassionate communication. Put feelings first– ask your teen, for example, what they think another person might have been feeling during a difficult moment. Practice active listening, and when conflict comes up, stay calm and solution-focused.

Optimism 

Optimistic teens expect positive outcomes and feel hopeful about the future, giving them a big boost in resilience. Some teens are naturally more likely to look on the sunny side, but all teens can learn how to think more positively. Help your teen develop an optimistic attitude by practicing positivity together. Gratitude is one of the most powerful pathways to optimism, so share what you feel grateful for when you sit down to a meal together or keep a daily gratitude list. Reframing negative self-talk also helps teens retrain their brains to prioritize positive thoughts and emotions.

Purpose 

A 2018 study found that teens who scored high for having a sense of purpose “were resilient enough to look past the present challenges and envision a positive future.” Teens can find purpose in relationships, their spiritual life, causes they care about, or working towards future goals. You can help your teen discover what makes life meaningful for them by talking about their personal values and supporting them in finding their passions. Make sure they know that purpose is a process; in fact, part of their purpose can be enjoying the adventure of learning about themselves, trying new things, and discovering unexpected gifts, strengths, and sources of inspiration.

An attachment to family, to school and learning 

Resilient teens feel supported by their families and schools, which helps them embrace learning even when it’s tough. Many of the qualities included in resilience are also associated with a growth mindset: the belief that skills and intelligence improve with effort and that persistence pays off. Teens who think this way tend to embrace challenges and bounce back quickly from perceived failures. You can support your teen in developing a growth mindset by praising them for effort and courage, giving them the tools to practice self-compassion, and encouraging them to step outside their comfort zone and take risks that help them grow.

Problem-solving skills 

A big part of resilience is dealing with problems proactively. Resilient teens are creative and capable when faced with a setback, and don’t expect others to solve their problems for them. Sometimes the best way to help your teen solve problems is by taking a step back: support them in making decisions and taking action, but let them take the lead. Help them think through their options and understand what they can and can’t control. And consider asking for their advice when you’re facing a problem of your own. That helps teens understand how to make tough decisions and take responsibility.

An effective coping style

Resilient teens know how to manage feelings of distress, frustration, and disappointment. Help your teen understand what their go-to coping style is. Some healthy ways of coping include humor, seeking support, relaxation, physical activity, and adjusting expectations. Less-healthy coping involves denial, self-blame, or venting. Teens can evaluate the effectiveness of different techniques and develop positive methods of coping, like learning to check in with their emotions, practicing self-care, and asking for help when they need it.

A positive self-image

Teens with poor self-esteem may feel like the world is out to get them. Teens with a positive self-image are likely to understand that everyone faces difficulties at times, and that whatever they’re going through doesn’t reflect their value as a person. Help your teen maintain their self-worth by letting them know you love, accept, and support them unconditionally.

And know that all the previous resilience-building tools – like learning social, problem-solving, and coping skills – also grow their self-esteem by helping them feel prepared. Resilient teens know that they can bounce back no matter what happens. When they see themselves as strong, they’re truly ready to take on the world!