Why is routine so important for teens? Adolescence brings with it intense physical, emotional, and social change. When so much of a teen’s life is in flux, the predictability of everyday routines is grounding. As the study’s lead author Allen Barton says, “We often lose sight of the mundane aspects of life, but if we can get control of the… everyday parts of life, then I think we can have a major impact on some bigger things.” The benefits of routine include:

• Enhanced closeness and bonding: Consistent routines send the message that you’re there for your teen and they can trust and count on you.
• Physical well-being: Regular bedtimes help set your teen’s body clock so they know when it’s time to go to sleep and wake up. Similarly, regular mealtimes help teens stay on track with healthier habits.
• Increased responsibility: When teens’ chores are scheduled and expectations are clear and consistent, they learn to keep commitments and care for others.
• Executive skills: Predictable routines help teens learn valuable lifelong skills like time management, organization, self-monitoring and self-control.

You may be asking, How can we get started with more stable routines… especially if my teen is already used to less structure? Parenting experts agree you should start small and involve teens in planning. Create one new routine at a time and begin with something that feels fun and rewarding, like a monthly game night or weekly dinner at home with the whole family. Ask your teen to help you brainstorm how to make your existing everyday routines more enjoyable and efficient, or create new rituals and traditions. This approach helps teens buy into routines as beneficial rather than seeing them as limiting.

Know that some teens like and need routine more than others. To give your teen a sense of ownership, talk with them about the habits they want to cultivate and the goals they are working towards, then work together to establish one small supportive change at a time. Approach new routines as an experiment instead of a rigid rule: try something out and if it doesn’t work, be prepared to modify it. When schedules or circumstances change– like at the start of the school year or when your teen adds an activity– it’s a good time to reevaluate routines. Above all, stay flexible and keep communicating.

More tips for setting successful routines:

• Think about your teen’s (and family’s) pressure-points: Is it always a battle to get out of bed in the morning? Do you tend to get super-stressed around homework or meal times? These areas are the perfect place to start creating more structure.
• Make it simple to accomplish tasks without investing a ton of time and energy. Remember that reducing stress often involves having to make fewer choices, so consider routines like a rotating weekly menu or prepping outfits the night before.
• Teens are chronically sleep deprived, so sleep is one of the most powerful places to establish routines. Emphasize consistent bedtimes and wake-up times, especially on school days.
• Don’t forget to factor in downtime, exercise and time with friends. These activities are all critical supports for teen mental health, and should be a priority even for busy teens.
• Make a shared family calendar and include reminders for the most important routines. From phone notifications to the old-fashioned chore chart, visual and auditory cues help your teen get used to new structure.
• Incentivize progress. When your teen– or your whole family– sticks to a new routine, make sure you celebrate success.
• Don’t be rigid: If a routine gets disrupted, just stay positive and start over tomorrow. And take time to periodically reevaluate routines to make sure they’re still in everyone’s best interests.

Uplevel your listening skills.

Just listening isn’t easy, but it may be what your teen needs most. Active listening means being completely present, available and focused on what your teen is saying (or not saying). Instead of assuming you know what’s up or thinking you need to be ready with answers, you give them space to work through their thoughts and feelings. It doesn’t mean you don’t offer feedback or step in to keep them safe, but your first priority is just being there for them. When parents are good listeners, it teaches teens to trust themselves and gives them the security of feeling unconditionally loved.

Establish supportive routines.

When everything seems uncertain, teens’  mental and emotional health are more vulnerable. To protect them in times of transition, make sure the things you can control feel as safe and predictable as possible. Talk to your teen about creating stable routines you can both count on. That might include regular bedtimes and mealtimes, schedules for homework and chores, limits on screen time, and making sacred space for family and friends. Always be ready to reevaluate routines or let them go if they’re not helping. Finally, routines should prioritize self-care, relationships and well-being, and they work best when they feel more like rituals than rules. 

Know their vision and values.

As Lewis Carroll said, “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.” Navigating transition is easier when teens have a goal to work towards, and values give them guardrails for making good decisions. Help your teen create their vision for a successful outcome and identify the micro goals to get there. What if the idea of a big-picture vision is overwhelming to your teen? Don’t pressure them. As they get used to the changes, they’ll get clearer about their opportunities and options. In the meantime, their goals can focus on exploration and taking it one day at a time. 

Address your own anxieties.

Worry is contagious. If you’re stressed about a transition, your teen is more likely to absorb your fears, act out against them, or try to “fix” things for you. Take time to identify each of your anxieties with self-compassion: Are you uncertain about your future and how that will affect your family? Concerned about your teen’s safety? Worried that your relationship with them will change? Once you’re clear about the source of your stress, ask yourself what you need to feel more supported. Make connections with others who understand your experience. Talk to a therapist, parenting coach, or supportive friend. Take time to breathe, exercise, and eat and sleep well. Make a list of resources and establish a plan. When you feel calm and capable, your teen will, too.

Put together a transition team.

When we talked to teens about transitions, they mentioned dealing with a family member’s illness, worrying about money after a parent’s job loss, and getting used to living with new step-siblings. Relationships are a big part of what gives teens their sense of self, so in times like these, other relationships can provide stability. Help your teen establish a support team of family, friends, and mentors. It’s especially important if you’re in transition, too. You and your teen both need to know you’re not in it alone, and you don’t have to be the sole source of support for each other. Reach out to people you trust and ask if they’re willing to be on call or spend extra time with your teen. Talk to their teachers, school counselor, and parents of their close friends. Let your teen know that it’s ok to ask for help. Instead of feeling fearful and alone, teens can learn to seek connection and stay open to opportunities. Transitions can help them develop self-awareness and clarity about their goals, get closer to the people they love, and be at ease with the inevitable changes of life.

The Genius Generation

Did you know that a 16-year-old invented the trampoline, and an 11-year-old invented popsicles? Teen scientists, inventors, and entrepreneurs are still making history, and The Genius Generation tells their stories. In this short, inspiring podcast, you’ll meet teens like Tavish Sharma, creator of the Solve Hunger app, and Ela Gokcigdem, who invented environmentally-friendly noise canceling earbuds after healing from a concussion. Teens talk with host Stephanie Castillo about what motivates them, their struggles, and how they accomplish their goals. Some episodes include serious subjects, like bullying, mental health, hunger, and climate change. We love that the emphasis is on taking action and finding positive solutions to big problems. Each episode is only 10-15 minutes– a great length for short car trips or limited attention spans. The Genius Generation is best for motivated teens of any age who want to make a difference.

Girls Make Beats

Hosted and produced by teen girls, Girls Make Beats is a “fun, safe space for young girls to discuss topics relevant to them,” including “music, school, fashion, food, creativity, current events, hot topics and more.” Each stand-alone episode features a different group of hosts. In addition to sharing music-making tips and featuring tracks by teen DJs, they talk about everything from mental health awareness and self-confidence to brand-building and social justice. Girls Make Beats feels like dropping in on a casual conversation between smart, cool friends. These musicians, activists, and content creators don’t let age – or anything else – stand in the way of their achievements. Episodes vary in length from 30 minutes to over an hour, and each one is all about supporting girls in being self-empowered. Girls Make Beats is best for any creative teenage girl who is finding her voice. 

Tai Asks Why

Why do we dream? What will money look like in the future? What is love? To find the answers, join Tai Poole on his mission to solve the mysteries of the universe. In each 30-minute episode of Tai Asks Why, 15-year-old Tai unpacks a topic by discussing research, ideas, and information with knowledgeable adults. His relentless curiosity and charisma make complex subjects accessible. Tai even tackles questions like What is the science behind bullying? and What’s happening in my teen brain? These episodes are great conversation-starters for tough topics. Tai is funny, relatable, and insightful as only a teen can be. Guaranteed to teach everyone who listens a thing or two about life’s unanswered questions, Tai Asks Why is best for curious younger teens.

Part-Time Genius

Does your teen love asking crazy questions or obsess about obscure trivia? Part-Time Genius may be the perfect podcast for them. Hosts Will Pearson and Mangesh Hattikudur, co-founders of Mental Floss, are like Tai Poole grown up, times two. They turn questions like Will it ever be possible to live without sleep? and What’s the world’s most ridiculous video game? into entertaining 30-45 minute episodes full of research, quizzes, interviews, and their own infectious laughter. The subjects may seem silly, but the hosts unearth fascinating facts about science, history, and human nature that can lead to unexpectedly deep conversations. Part-Time Genius is best for teens of any age who are captivated by the unusual and absurd.

Adult ISH

Teens and 20-somethings making the transition into adulthood will relate to Adult ISH, “a culture, advice and storytelling podcast produced entirely by folks who are almost adults.” Twenty-five-year-old host Nygel Turner dives into topics including feeling scared to grow up, how not to get fired, breakups, and experiences with mental health medications. Each 30-40 minute episode is a mix of conversations, stories, personal reflections, and heartfelt advice. Adult ISH is a perfect podcast to open up those sometimes-tricky, semi-adult subjects. We love that it captures the magic of young adulthood and addresses its challenges head-on. Best for older teens who are focused on the future, Adult ISH empowers them with knowledge and confidence to go forward fearlessly. 

Visualization is creating a visual image in one’s mind or mentally rehearsing to learn skills or enhance performance. It allows us to experience and feel a situation that hasn\’t happened yet as if it were real. Imagining ourselves performing an action activates the same neurons in the brain as when we actually do that action. With practice, visualization builds new neural pathways that make a goal feel achievable. Visualization can also help us stay motivated and focused by stimulating the release of the feel-good neurotransmitter dopamine. Boosting brain power with visualization has big benefits for teens:

1. It reduces stress and anxiety. Visualization makes a new situation feel familiar, so it’s not so intimidating. In one study, teens who used visualization showed lower levels of anxiety and better overall mental health.
2. It builds confidence and coping skills. Visualization allows teens to imagine problems and possible solutions, giving them the confidence to cope with challenges.
3. It activates the subconscious mind. While the conscious mind is visualizing, the subconscious generates creative ideas and seeks novel connections to support teens in achieving their goals.
4. It builds motivation. As the saying goes, “Seeing is believing.” When teens are able to see themselves as successful, they are more likely to stretch themselves.

Our Top Visualization Tips for Teens:

Relax the Body and the Brain. If teens are stressed or unfocused, visualization won’t work. To get the most out of visualization, teens should pick a time when they’re alert but relaxed, like after they wake up, after a few minutes of mindfulness, or just before they go to bed. If it’s before a performance or a test, teach them to take a few slow, deep breaths, feel their feet on the floor, and relax their chest, arms, hands, and face before they begin. Activating the nervous system’s relaxation response makes the brain more receptive to input from visualization.

Imagine Emotions. Visualization is more effective when it includes the feelings that inspire teens to reach for their goals. In other words, don’t just picture success: feel it. Help teens get specific in describing the way they want to feel, like powerful, proud, triumphant, fearless, or overjoyed. Then help them imagine feeling those emotions in the present moment. Positive emotions are motivating, and they help edge out any feelings of fear or self-doubt.

Make a Mind Movie. One popular visualization technique asks teens to imagine sitting down to watch a movie of themselves achieving their goal. They envision their progress down to the tiniest detail: their clothes, facial expressions, movements, environment, and any other people. They watch themselves performing perfectly. To go one step further, teens can imagine actually stepping into the screen and experiencing it all over again with their five senses, hearing the sounds, smelling the smells, and feeling the sensations in their bodies. The more sensory details are included, the more real the visualization will feel.

Create a Vision Board. A vision board is a next-level tool for manifesting multiple goals. To make one, teens need poster board, scissors, a glue stick, and a stack of magazines. They’ll flip through the magazines and cut out any images or words that represent their goals and dreams, then make a collage of the images. Digitally inclined teens can make a vision board online with free templates from Canva. Whatever the format, experts say the key is to keep engaging with the vision board. Encourage teens to put it in a place where they’ll see it frequently, update it with new images, and focus on the happy vibes they feel. Even better: when you make vision boards together as a family, you can support each other in making your dreams come true.

Fans of visualization say it’s an almost magical method for manifesting what we wish for. It can help teens get inspired, feel confident, stay motivated, and achieve the goals that matter most to them… what could be more magical than that? 

Active listening is listening like you mean it: you’re completely present and open to what the other person is sharing, and they know you care about what they have to say. According to the Center for Parenting Education, “Active listening is a very sophisticated skill that can take years to master. Because you may not have been raised in a home in which this kind of listening was practiced and because very little of it occurs in our society, it can feel like you are learning a second language.” While active listening may be a challenge to master, it’s a real game-changer with teens. Here are five active listening skills you can put into practice today:

1. Make sure you’re “all ears.”

The single most powerful way to upgrade your listening skills is to practice being fully present. Life is busy, fast-paced, and full of distractions, and that makes it tough to tune in to our teens. But nothing says “I’m here for you” like focusing your full attention on your teen. When they’re talking to you, stop multitasking and try to eliminate distractions (put down your phone, silence notifications, or turn off the car radio). Notice if you’re thinking about the past, the future, or your to-do list. If you’re feeling scattered, take a few slow, deep breaths and bring your attention back to the present moment.

2. Pay attention to your body language.

Body language says a lot about how well we’re listening. When your teen is talking, turn toward them and lean in slightly. Smile, nod, and mirror their facial expressions to let them know you empathize. Most teens appreciate eye contact, but if they’re feeling shy or sharing a sensitive subject, they may prefer to be side-by-side. (Lots of parents have great talks with teens while driving.) A pat on the back or a gentle arm squeeze also feels good to teens who like physical affection.

3. Try not to interrupt or give advice (until they ask for it).

Parents have a lot more life experience than kids, and we’d do anything to protect them from the pain of misjudgments and mistakes. It’s common for parents to listen until we think we get the gist and then step in with our own ideas, but that can leave teens feeling unheard. Try to just listen until your teen is done talking, and wait a little longer than usual before you speak up. If they don’t ask for your perspective, you can say, “I have an idea about that if you’re open to hearing it.” With active listening, you don’t have to have all the answers. Think of it like teaching your teen to drive: you can sit beside them and offer support, but they’re the one who steers.

4. Reflect back what you’re hearing.

Another active listening upgrade is to paraphrase what your teen tells you and repeat it back to them. This can feel awkward at first, but it lets teens know you really get what they’re saying – or gives them a chance to clarify. For example, if your teen says, “I hate Olivia! She told everybody I got a C on the test and I feel so stupid,” you can reflect back: “You must feel embarrassed and angry that she shared information you wanted to keep private. It’s hard when a friend lets you down like that.”

5. Ask the right kind of questions.

Make sure your questions are non-judgmental and clarifying. Nothing shuts down a conversation faster than a question that sounds like criticism: What were you thinking?! Clarifying questions seek a better understanding of the message your teen wants to get across. You might ask them to clarify facts about what happened or say more about how they feel. By avoiding the feeling of judgment, clarifying questions give teens an opportunity to self-reflect, see the situation in a new light, and think about possible next steps. Clarifying questions gently guide teens toward deeper understanding and self-awareness while keeping their sense of autonomy intact.

Practicing these five skills lets your teen know that you care about them, respect them, and value what they have to say, so they’re more likely to listen when it’s your turn to talk. And best of all, active listening will deepen your teen’s trust in you, ensuring that you’re the one they turn to when they need a listening ear or a helping hand. 

Nothing is harder for parents than seeing their child struggle and not knowing how to help. It’s important to remember that while there’s no single solution to stress, parents can do a lot to help teens recognize, reduce, and manage stress so it doesn’t get overwhelming. Here are four research-backed, time-tested stress strategies for teens.

1. Teach teens the difference between stress and anxiety.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, stress is “the physical or mental response to an external cause, such as having a lot of homework or having an illness.” Anxiety is the body’s internal reaction to stress, and it can happen even when there’s no current threat. In other words, stress goes away when the problem is resolved, but anxiety recurs, usually as a “persistent feeling of apprehension or dread that doesn’t go away.” When teens understand the difference between stress and anxiety, they can break down a big feeling of overwhelm into more manageable chunks. Since stress is external it often has an external solution, like getting help from a teacher, adjusting their schedule, or talking to a counselor. Taking concrete steps can help relieve internal anxiety by reducing the external causes of stress.

2. Teach teens to recognize how stress affects them.

Stress impacts teens physically, mentally, emotionally, and socially. Some common physical symptoms include headaches, stomachaches, and more frequent colds or other minor illnesses. Stressed teens may have trouble sleeping, feel more irritable or moody, struggle with learning and concentration, or isolate themselves socially. Negative self-talk and worry are also signs of stress. Parents can help teens understand the link between stress and symptoms like these and address the stress before it gets worse. If you notice a change in your teen’s health or behavior, simply asking, “Do you think this might have something to do with stress?” is a great way to start a conversation about the root cause.

3. Help teens build a strong network of relationships.

Social support equals better mental health for teens. Parents can’t do it all alone, and each trusted relationship in a teen’s life is a potential source of support when they’re dealing with stress. According to Search Institute, the most powerful relationships for teens to cultivate are developmental relationships with adults who express care, challenge teens to grow, provide support, share power and respect, and expand their possibilities. Teens might form developmental relationships with parents, teachers, mentors, coaches, or extended family members. And solid friendships with peers are important, too. One study found that adolescents who spent time with peers after a stressful event were less likely to feel sadness or worry than those who spent time alone.

4. Help teens build a toolkit of coping skills.

The teenage years expose kids to a whole new set of potential stressors, from academic pressures to more complex relationships. When parents help teens develop coping skills for everyday problems, they have a ready-made toolkit to deploy for life’s bigger stresses. You can make managing stress a family project and help your teen figure out what works best for them. A few ideas: see our picks for the best mindfulness and meditation apps for teens, or try these techniques for re-centering with nature. And don’t forget simple practices like keeping a gratitude journal; studies show that experiencing gratitude builds resilience and buffers against depression.

Stress is a part of life, but remember that it’s not always negative. Healthy stress, for example, can motivate teens to study hard for a test or practice until they master a new skill. Stress becomes dangerous when it becomes too much for teens to manage and affects their mental and physical health. These techniques empower teens to recognize, reduce, and manage their stress: a skill that will serve them well for the rest of their lives. 

The good news is that parents are still a powerful influence on the way teens see themselves. Here are six of the best strategies we’ve found to promote body positivity with your teen:

Provide diverse, body-positive media, and start young. Kids who see themselves represented in the media they consume have higher self-esteem, and kids who are exposed to diverse, inclusive images show more empathy and acceptance of themselves and others. It’s never too early to emphasize diversity and body positivity… one study found that children as young as three already identify thinness as the ideal body shape. You can’t combat every damaging media message, but you can provide kids with role models of all shapes, sizes, ethnicities, abilities, ages, sexual orientations, and gender identities living happy and healthy lives.

Prioritize inner awareness over outside messages. Because teens are naturally concerned about how others see them, they tend to evaluate themselves based on outside factors like physical appearance, performance, or feedback from others. Help teens cultivate and prioritize their inner awareness instead. Teach them to listen to their thoughts, feelings, and sensations. Talking to them about how they feel lets them know that it matters to you. You can also help them notice when they’re elevating the opinions of others over their own experience. Mindfulness practices to calm the mind and cultivate compassion for themselves and others help teens keep outside influences in check. With this “inside-out” focus, teens can more easily filter out messages that might make them feel bad.

Be aware of how your own body image affects your teen. Most parents are careful not to criticize their child’s body, but how often do you criticize your body? Research shows that parents transmit a negative body image to teens even if their critical comments are only about themselves. It’s not the appearance, weight, ability, or physical condition of your body that matters; it’s what you feel and say about yourself that affects your teen’s body image. Making self-critical comments, even in a joking way, teaches your teen to do the same. But luckily, teens whose parents have a positive body image are more likely to feel good about themselves. The bottom line? Loving your body helps teens love their bodies, too.

Eat meals together. When families are busy, it’s tempting to skip meals or let everybody grab whatever they can on their way out the door. But a recent study from the University of Missouri found that eating breakfast and other meals together promotes a positive body image among adolescents. Researchers say that sharing meals with at least one parent benefits teens by promoting a healthy relationship with food and providing meaningful, consistent connection. Eating breakfast more frequently is associated with a more positive body image, too. If it’s not something you already do, ask if your family could try having breakfast together once or twice a week to start.

Help them find fun in physical activity. Physically active teens are more likely to have a positive body image, but too much pressure to achieve can backfire, making teens feel inadequate and even leading to extreme diets and exercise. Parents can help their teens find balance with activities that are a good fit for their personalities and interests. If team sports aren’t their thing, maybe a martial arts or dance class would be a better fit. Whatever they choose, look for a welcoming, inclusive coach, club, or class that prioritizes a growth mindset and teamwork over scores and rankings. You can also plan active family time, like weekend hikes or backyard soccer games–anything that gets you moving and having fun together is a win.

Seek out body-positive media. The flip-side of social media’s appearance-obsessed trend is a rise in body-positive activists and influencers. Check out tennis star Serena Williams or style blogger Shira Rose for inspiration. Online communities now celebrate bodies that, not so long ago, were never represented in a positive light. Fill your own feed with images and messages that promote a positive self-image and talk about them with your teen. Encourage teens to seek out media that is diverse, inclusive, and that makes them feel good about themselves.

It may feel challenging to overcome the external influences in your teen’s life when it comes to body positivity, but remember that parents still play a powerful role in influencing the way teens see themselves. How you practice body positivity through family conversations and activities can have a lasting impact on your teen’s body image. 

Researchers attribute rising teen stress levels to the same factors that drive adult stress, including unrealistic expectations and unrelenting pressure to succeed. Between homework, extracurricular activities, jobs, friends, and family, teens’ schedules are often just as packed as those of their parents.

One stress strategy that’s often overlooked for teens is simply… simplifying. With these six ideas, parents can help teens stress less, find fulfillment, and embrace the idea that sometimes, less is more.

1. Know what matters most. Simplifying our lives is about making more room for the things that are important to us and letting go of the things that aren\’t. To do that, we have to know what we value and what gives our lives meaning. Talking with your teen about what is important to them – and to the whole family – is a foundational step in helping them figure out what to keep and what to let go. These talks don’t have to be super-serious. Questions like, “If you could only choose one ____ or ____, what would you pick?” are light-hearted openers that invite deeper conversations. Teens are more likely to embrace simplification if you keep the emphasis on fun and fulfillment.

2. Create morning and evening routines. Stress thrives on chaos. One of the first places to simplify is the times that tend to get chaotic for busy families: the start and end of each day. Planning an advance-prep evening routine makes mornings go more smoothly. Teens can get in the habit of choosing clothes or putting lunch together so they don’t have to think about it when they’re rushing to get ready. Other ideas for routines include creating a bathroom schedule and weekly menu, setting up a family charging station, synchronizing transportation, and leaving gym bags, instrument cases, and backpacks packed and by the door.

3. Clear the clutter. When teens can’t find their homework or favorite hoodie because their room is always a disaster, it’s time for a clutter clean-out. Clutter makes it hard for teens to think clearly, focus, and accomplish tasks. Instead of targeting only your teen’s space, make it a whole-house project. Take turns picking music to make it fun. Label bags or bins for items to keep, toss, or donate, and let your teen choose a favorite charity to receive donated items. Once the clutter is cleared, consider an organization upgrade. Tons of colorful, fun organization options are available for teens, from rolling carts to desktop organizers to technology docking stations.

4. Reduce choices. We all feel overwhelmed when we have too many options to choose from (as any shopper staring at a wall of toothpaste or toilet paper will tell you). But it\’s developmentally important for teens to have choices, along with the increased autonomy and responsibility of making them. Parents can strike a balance by filtering their teen’s options. For example, “We have the bandwidth for you to do two extracurriculars this year; which two are you really excited about?” or “We can have eggs or smoothies for breakfast; your choice.” Teens can always speak up if they want something that’s not offered, but often they’re happy to have some of the pressure to decide taken off their plate.

5. Teach your teen to say ‘no.’ It sounds simple, but saying ‘no’ can be tough for teens. Reasons include fear of conflict, confrontation, disappointing others, or classic FOMO. But teens need to learn how to set healthy boundaries for themselves, and that means getting comfortable saying ‘no’ sometimes. Teach teens to stop and check in with themselves before automatically agreeing to a new invitation or activity. Does it feel fun, interesting, or important? Does it conflict with a previous commitment? Is there something they would rather be doing? Are they feeling any pressure from themselves or others? Helping them access their internal compass makes it easier for them to say no when they need to.

6. Create a family downtime ritual. As always, parents must model the behavior they want kids to embrace. One way to make simplicity more meaningful is to schedule consistent family time – maybe every Thursday night or Sunday afternoon – and intentionally dial down the intensity. Play board games, watch a movie, or make dinner together, but keep it relaxed and low-key. You might agree to silence your cell phones or turn off notifications and just focus on enjoying each other’s company. This lets your teen know that no matter how busy life gets, some things are sacred, and choosing to do and have a little less gives us a lot more of what matters most.

Simplifying can feel like a radical way to parent because we live in a culture in which “busyness” is a badge of success. But, the rising numbers of teens navigating stress and mental health challenges affirm that opportunities to help your teen simplify and focus are far more likely to assure their success. 

The answer? Well… maybe. Cell phone addiction is real and knowing the signs and symptoms can help you assess your teen’s phone habits (and your own). These six strategies are proven to help kids (and parents) stay in control of their digital lives instead of being controlled by their devices.

1. Be honest about your own not-so-great habits. Many frustrated teens say they can’t bring their phones to the dinner table, but parents get around the rule by saying, “I just have to check my work email,” or “I can’t miss this call.” Our digital lives are hard to escape, and everybody needs more of what journalist Catherine Price calls “Screen/Life Balance.” Price’s 30-day Break Up with Your Phone Challenge offers tips to assess your screen time and set realistic goals for yourself. Getting your teen on board is easier when digital detox is a family project, and not just focused on fixing their bad habits.

2. Set sensible limits – together. Teens are old enough to help set boundaries on their phone use. If you’re worried about their habits, it’s likely that they’re also noticing some of the negative effects of being tethered to technology. They may be more open than you think to an honest conversation and some guidance. A few starter suggestions for adults and teens: Turn off push notifications for most, if not all, social media apps. Maybe text messages, too. The constant dings and blings are one of the main drivers of cell phone addiction. It also makes sense to stick to one screen at a time (i.e., no texting while playing video games) and plan phone-free time after homework and chores are done.

3. Agree on family “down-times.” Talk to your teen about which times of the day and week make sense for everybody to take a break from their phones. Meal times are an obvious choice, as is the hour or so before bedtime. Look for other times, too, based on your family’s unique needs and schedules. How about phone-free time in the morning, when you go for a hike, or on the drive home from school? Talk it over with your teen so everyone involved has buy-in.

4. Set up a family charging station. Whenever you and your teen decide it’s “down-time,” set up a single charging station for all phones that can be monitored. This keeps everybody accountable, plus you don’t have to search the house for a million missing chargers. Some families use the station at night to remove the temptation of phones after bedtime, too. (Digital alarm clocks are a low-tech lifesaver when phones disrupt a teen’s sleep. You might try it, too!)

5. Focus on fun. Most of us scroll for entertainment and to feel connected to others. But YouTube videos and social media feeds don’t actually deliver the good vibes we crave. Phones and apps are designed to be addictive. Catherine Price offers a simple solution: we all need to remember what real fun feels like. Find a whole-family activity to replace phone time with fun time. What does your teen suggest? From board games to bike rides, pajama parties to pickleball, a little creativity makes it easier to forget the phones and build healthier habits.

6. Take it to the next level. Digital detox works best when we’re motivated by wanting to spend more quality time together as a family. With this in mind, families can plan outings or fun days with the understanding that everyone will be phone-free. If kids are involved in the planning, they’re much more likely to agree to try disconnecting for a while. Plan a trip to the movies or a family soccer match with just one phone in case of emergencies, and talk together about how it felt afterwards.

By being an authentic role model, keeping communication clear, and involving kids in planning for screen-free time, parents can empower teens to find balance with technology. Along the way, these strategies help the whole family get happier and healthier together. 

One of the most important keys to supporting good mental health is openly and positively talking about it with your family. Mental health is health, but families are often afraid to talk about mental health. Yet, talking about mental health is one of the ways we can avoid mental health crises.

Create space for hard conversations and be willing to talk about feelings of depression, anxiety, stress, and isolation. Let your teen know that all feelings are okay. Talking and listening to one another can ease feelings of isolation and create opportunities to address challenges positively and proactively before crisis happens.

Here are some engaging resources to support your family’s mental health conversations—this month and all year long.

1. Well Beings/PBS Community Outreach Tour– a series of outstanding virtual panels on a variety of youth mental health topics. Watch with your teen and start a conversation!

2. Child Mind Institute’s Dare to Share Campaign – hear from kids and adults talking about what they do to help their mental health.

As a family, you can also commit to keeping physically active, being in nature, getting enough sleep, and practicing mindfulness to support your mental health wellness. Additionally, keeping a journal can be an effective tool for calming your teen\’s mind and gives them time to slow down and process feelings.

While we know social media can be valuable for connecting and engaging, it’s important to track social media usage and its impact. Does it increase your anxiety or your teen\’s anxiety or does usage decrease it? Researchers are finding a link between frequent social media use and young mental health issues.

Sometimes social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat can put more pressure on teenagers in regard to body image, status symbols, as well as online bullying that can occur on these platforms. Not all social media is negative, though! Here’s a great list of Instagram accounts to boost your mood that you can share with your family.

When you’re open to raising awareness and creating opportunities for proactive and positive conversations about mental health in your family, your teen knows that it’s okay to not be okay and that your home is a safe space to be vulnerable.

Here are some valuable mental health resources for both parents and teens to explore and share with others.

• Crisis Text Line: Text “START” to 741741 in USA
• National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-NAMI
• National Eating Disorder Association: 1-800-931-2237
• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
• Trevor Project (or LGBTQ Youth): Call 866-488-7386 or Text START to 678-678
• List of International Suicide Hotlines
• Helpful vs. harmful ways to manage emotions