To build confidence during this critical developmental stage, tweens and teens need a crew they can count on. At Lucero, a crew is any combination of friends and family members who radically support each other. Researchers say this network of close, trusting relationships protects adolescents’ mental health and is the foundation of self-esteem and self-confidence. How does connection build confidence? Here are three important factors:

1. It creates a strong sense of self.

Teens are hardwired for individuation. Part of becoming confident, capable adults is figuring out who they are as unique individuals. But paradoxically, their sense of self depends heavily on the strength of their relationships with others. Young children look primarily to parents and caregivers to provide the blueprint for their beliefs and behavior. During the tween and teen years, the focus shifts to relationships with peers. “…Young people are learning how to manage relationships that are going to ultimately determine how they fare for the rest of their lives, and they sense that in their bones,” says psychologist Joseph Allen. Positive relationships, social support and acceptance help teens feel good about themselves and know they matter to others.

2. It cultivates a growth mindset.

Tweens and teens with a growth mindset believe that talent and intelligence can be developed through hard work. They are willing to persist through challenges and learn from mistakes and setbacks. Not surprisingly, that “I can do hard things” attitude boosts confidence. But it’s tough for adolescents to acquire a growth mindset alone. Without supportive connections, tweens and teens are more likely to get discouraged, doubt themselves, and give up on their goals. In contrast, a crew that believes in and encourages them helps adolescents stay motivated and achieve the small, sequential successes that increase confidence over time.

3. It contributes to self-acceptance.

A big component of confidence is self-acceptance: the ability to be friendly towards our whole selves, including our imperfections. But because their frontal brains are still developing, self-acceptance is challenging for tweens and teens. They rely more on the emotion-driven limbic brain to interpret experiences, which can warp their perception and lead to self-judgment and self-doubt. “During the teen years, it helps to think of the amygdala as the ‘gossiper,’ says psychologist Marwa Azab. “It loves to spread bad news and rumors… So, a teen might end up misperceiving a benign ‘hello’ as ‘I am watching you’ or ‘I noticed that pimple.’\” Connection is the antidote to an overactive amygdala. A network of trusting, supportive relationships provides a more balanced perspective and reminds tweens and teens that they are loved and accepted just as they are.

Speaking of connection… Have you checked out Lucero’s Crew feature? It’s where tweens and teens always have access to radical support from people who care about them. They can captain a Crew by inviting up to seven friends and family members to join them on their self-care journey. Crew members cheer each other on, support each other on the hard days and always apologize if their actions or words hurt someone’s feelings. Lucero sparks meaningful conversations, strengthens relationships and gives tweens and teens a safe space to build confidence through connection.

Caregivers of tweens and teens need to know that connection can be cultivated. How? Start with these five simple strategies to strengthen relationships:

1. Remember, your teen wants to connect.

American families spend just 37 minutes of quality time together per day, according to a recent survey. Why so little? Busy schedules make it a real challenge to carve out quality time. But while parents often perceive that their teens have lost interest in spending time together, teens say parents are the ones who are too busy. Remember, even as teens seek greater independence and spend more time with friends, quality time with parents continues to be critical for their overall well-being. Teens want to connect with you even when they don’t say so, so go ahead and make the first move.

2. Be more present in the time you already spend together.

When it comes to connection, quality matters more than quantity. Quality time means being present: you’re not letting distractions, worries, or feelings of overwhelm intrude. You’re really there for each other, listening, sharing, having fun, or just being. Ask yourself how you might be more present during the time you and your teen already spend together. Do you drive them to school most mornings or eat dinner together a few nights a week? Consider declaring a phone-free zone, playing a conversation card game, or creating a family ritual to check in with each other. And be sure to ask your teen what would make it most meaningful for them.

3. Don’t leave connection up to chance.

When families see each other often, it’s easy to make time together a low priority or leave it entirely up to chance. But that means you’re hanging out when you’re stressed, tired and distracted. To foster deeper connection, make family time sacred and spend time together when everyone can be energized and engaged. Block off regular time in all your calendars and make a plan together. Create a few simple rituals, like cooking dinner one night a week or going for a hike once a month. Keep it simple with easy, everyday moments of connection, then mix it up by trying new things or planning an adventure once in a while. Teens benefit from regular routines and opportunities to get out of their comfort zone, so aim for a balance of both.

4. Support teens’ friendships with peers.

Connection with parents or caregivers is key, but it doesn’t replace the need for close, supportive peer friendships. Studies show that connection with peers decreases stress, increases teens’ sense of self-worth and protects their mental health well into early adulthood. Caregivers can help teens nurture these critical friendships with a little background support and structure. Teaching your teen to prioritize authenticity, getting to know their friends, and encouraging extracurricular activities are all ways you can help teens build a network of supportive connections. Read our post on nurturing teen friendships for more ideas.

5. Help them create their Crew.

Connection supports adolescent mental health, and healthy habits like connection are easier to build when tweens and teens have a support system. That’s why we designed Lucero to be a place where friends and families can radically support each other. Teens can invite up to seven “framily” members to join their Crew. Crew members cheer each other on, support each other on the hard days, and always apologize if their actions or words hurt someone’s feelings. With the support of their Crew, teens discover themselves, strengthen their relationships, and deepen their capacity to connect.