To build confidence during this critical developmental stage, tweens and teens need a crew they can count on. At Lucero, a crew is any combination of friends and family members who radically support each other. Researchers say this network of close, trusting relationships protects adolescents’ mental health and is the foundation of self-esteem and self-confidence. How does connection build confidence? Here are three important factors:

1. It creates a strong sense of self.

Teens are hardwired for individuation. Part of becoming confident, capable adults is figuring out who they are as unique individuals. But paradoxically, their sense of self depends heavily on the strength of their relationships with others. Young children look primarily to parents and caregivers to provide the blueprint for their beliefs and behavior. During the tween and teen years, the focus shifts to relationships with peers. “…Young people are learning how to manage relationships that are going to ultimately determine how they fare for the rest of their lives, and they sense that in their bones,” says psychologist Joseph Allen. Positive relationships, social support and acceptance help teens feel good about themselves and know they matter to others.

2. It cultivates a growth mindset.

Tweens and teens with a growth mindset believe that talent and intelligence can be developed through hard work. They are willing to persist through challenges and learn from mistakes and setbacks. Not surprisingly, that “I can do hard things” attitude boosts confidence. But it’s tough for adolescents to acquire a growth mindset alone. Without supportive connections, tweens and teens are more likely to get discouraged, doubt themselves, and give up on their goals. In contrast, a crew that believes in and encourages them helps adolescents stay motivated and achieve the small, sequential successes that increase confidence over time.

3. It contributes to self-acceptance.

A big component of confidence is self-acceptance: the ability to be friendly towards our whole selves, including our imperfections. But because their frontal brains are still developing, self-acceptance is challenging for tweens and teens. They rely more on the emotion-driven limbic brain to interpret experiences, which can warp their perception and lead to self-judgment and self-doubt. “During the teen years, it helps to think of the amygdala as the ‘gossiper,’ says psychologist Marwa Azab. “It loves to spread bad news and rumors… So, a teen might end up misperceiving a benign ‘hello’ as ‘I am watching you’ or ‘I noticed that pimple.’\” Connection is the antidote to an overactive amygdala. A network of trusting, supportive relationships provides a more balanced perspective and reminds tweens and teens that they are loved and accepted just as they are.

Speaking of connection… Have you checked out Lucero’s Crew feature? It’s where tweens and teens always have access to radical support from people who care about them. They can captain a Crew by inviting up to seven friends and family members to join them on their self-care journey. Crew members cheer each other on, support each other on the hard days and always apologize if their actions or words hurt someone’s feelings. Lucero sparks meaningful conversations, strengthens relationships and gives tweens and teens a safe space to build confidence through connection.

1. Build a strong relationship with themselves.

Teens with high self-esteem have more positive relationships, and positive relationships lead to better self-esteem. Self-esteem often takes a hit during adolescence when physical, neurological, psychological and social changes combine with increased stress and responsibility. Healthy habits that boost teens’ connection with themselves include self-reflection, self-care, journaling, positive self-talk, and getting clear about personal values and goals. Encourage your teen to think about what it means to be their own best friend– how do you talk to someone you love and care about? What would you do if that person were having a hard time? Teens who love themselves have a built-in model of a supportive relationship, so they know they deserve a high level of care and respect from others.

2. Ramp up resilience.

Healthy habits help teens build a tool-kit of coping skills to deal with stress and regulate their emotions. Each tool increases their resilience, or the ability to bounce back from and overcome adversity. According to researcher and author Dr. Brené Brown, the five most common factors of resilient people include:

• They are resourceful and have skills to solve problems.
• They are more likely to seek help.
• They believe that they can do something to manage their feelings and cope.
• They have social support.
• They are connected with others.

3. Define their \”Framily.\”

According to the Urban Dictionary, a framily includes “friends or blood relatives to whom we would actually choose to be related, because the relationship is mutually respectful, close, supporting and affectionate.” Defining their framily helps teens reframe their support systems to include all the important relationships that don’t necessarily fit into traditional roles, like their mom’s best friend who’s more like an aunt, or a youth group leader or neighbor who always looks out for them. Take some time with your teen to map out your own framily members and highlight any relationships you want to strengthen. Let those people know that they’re a part of your teen’s tribe, then plan ways that you and your teen can deepen the most important connections.

4. Get serious about radical support.

At Lucero, we define framily as any combination of youth and adults who want to radically support each other. Who are the people your teen can rely on for radical support? Those are the relationships that belong in your teen’s inner circle. Radical support means different things to different people, but some key questions your teen can ask themselves include:

• Can I be my most authentic self around this person? Do they like and love me even when I’m feeling sad, silly, vulnerable, etc.?
• Can I trust this person? Do I know they will respect my boundaries and keep what I say confidential? Are they honest with me?
• Would I feel comfortable asking this person for help or support?
• How does this person handle conflict when it comes up? Can we get along even when we disagree?
• Is our relationship equally important to both of us?

To help your teen learn connection-boosting healthy habits like these, download Lucero. It’s a gamified wellness app that builds emotional regulation skills and self-care habits in just a few minutes a day. Lucero is the most fun and engaging way for teens to gain healthy habits with bite-sized content co-created by experts and tweens and teens themselves.