Adolescence is the perfect time to develop conscious living skills because tweens and teens undergo brain changes that make them better at metacognition. Sometimes called “thinking about your thinking,” metacognition allows teens to be more aware of their thoughts, feelings, habits and behaviors and their power to change them. It can help teens make good decisions, choose healthy habits and live with greater self-awareness. Here are just a few of the ways conscious living benefits teens:

1. They know what matters most.

As teens begin to invest more in relationships with peers, they may feel pressured to go along with others over staying true to their own values and beliefs. Living consciously reminds teens that external approval doesn’t matter as much as feeling good about themselves. Above all, conscious living keeps teens aware that they always have a choice: they can consider all their options and make decisions based on what matters most to them.

1. They get goal-oriented.

The opposite of conscious living is going through life on autopilot, feeling lost or powerless to direct the course of your own life. It’s natural for teens to feel like they lack power at times, and many struggle to find a sense of direction and purpose. Conscious living empowers teens with tools to set goals and become more independent, responsible and self-motivated. They can define what success and fulfillment look like to them and chart their own course, one step at a time.

1. They can take charge, and let go.

Living consciously means taking charge of the things you have control over and letting go of the things you don’t. Teens learn that they are in charge of their own thoughts, words, behavior, choices and mistakes, and that they can’t control the thoughts, words, behavior, choices or mistakes of others. That helps them recognize when to take action and where they can change things. Then they respond to challenges by acting on what they can control, instead of getting frustrated by the things they can’t.

1. They grow their social-emotional intelligence. 

Being self-aware helps teens become more aware of others, too. Teens who practice conscious living are more likely to develop compassion, empathy and the ability to regulate emotions. Strong interpersonal skills help teens build healthy relationships and find a sense of belonging. Research shows that these solid connections with others provide powerful protection from depression, anxiety and other mental health disorders in teens.

1. They find an inner sanctuary.

Living consciously teaches healthy habits that help teens stay grounded in themselves, no matter what is going on in their outside lives or the world around them. From mindful breathing and positive self-talk to exercise and spending quality time with friends, teens learn to prioritize self-care and return to stabilizing routines whenever life gets tough. Having an inner sanctuary builds emotional resilience, protects teens’ mental health, and locks in positive practices they’ll take with them into adulthood.

…and here are some self-care tools we include in Lucero to help

To make living consciously a daily habit, teens need self-care reminders just like the rest of us. That’s why we built Lucero, a gamified wellness app built for teens and tweens. It includes personalized, teen-focused, therapist-approved suggestions for self-care, like:

• watching calming ASMR videos
• taking breaks to be active or go outside
• writing about a stressful situation and turning it into confetti

Each time teens try out a new self-care suggestion, they add more tools to their conscious living toolkit and build lasting healthy habits.

Parenting a teenager is no easy task, but it helps when you and your teen embrace the challenges as part of their own Hero’s Journey: the path to becoming their most authentic selves and living a meaningful life. Here, we outline some of the heroic steps teens take with tips to help them triumph at every stage.

The Ordinary World

The journey begins in your teen’s comfort zone, made up of the people and places that make them feel safe and secure. Teens may complain about parents being boring, but a stable, “ordinary” world is exactly what they need to gear up for their Hero’s Journey. Studies show that kids raised in unstable, traumatic circumstances demonstrate negative effects on their stress response well into adulthood, making it harder for them to respond to challenges in a healthy way. Predictability and strong, supportive relationships help teens grow into self-actualized, independent adults. A solid home base doesn’t mean teens shouldn’t be challenged; it just means you’re giving them guidance and making sure they stay safe. See our post on The Family as a Protective Factor to learn how the right family dynamic helps teens feel protected and encouraged to grow.

The Call to Adventure

A Call to Adventure is anything that shakes up a teen’s Ordinary World. It’s a challenge that asks them to step up and take action. The teen years are full of big changes, and each one can be framed as a Call to Adventure. Your child might be starting high school, fighting with a friend, dealing with a bully, trying out for a team, struggling with a subject, or experiencing their first crush. Each of these milestones requires them to learn new skills, take risks, and become a bigger version of themselves. Parents can help by instilling a growth mindset: the awareness that they can learn from their challenges and use them to get smarter, stronger, and more capable. A growth-oriented teen is more likely to frame new experiences as an adventure, instead of getting overwhelmed and giving up.

Allies and Enemies

Heroes almost never achieve their mission by going it alone, and teens need allies, too. Numerous studies have shown that kids with strong friendship networks have better mental health and emotional regulation, higher self esteem, and even a stronger immune system. A 2021 study found that teens with strong friendships before the pandemic were less likely to internalize the stress of social distancing and isolation.= Parents can encourage these rich relationships and help teens know who their true allies are. Do they feel accepted and supported by their friends, even on down days? Do they trust their friends? Are their friends helping them be the best version of themselves? Of course, heroes face enemies, too. Parents can keep an eye out for anybody who doesn’t have their teen’s best interests at heart and give them tools to set boundaries and say “No way” when necessary.

The Inmost Cave

Heroes almost always reach a point in the quest when they have to look deep inside themselves. This might mean confronting self-doubt, or their powers being tested like never before. They may have to take a stand for their values or make a tough choice. The Inmost Cave represents the unknown within ourselves. When teens experience doubt and difficulty, it can lead to risky or even self-destructive behavior. In moments like these, your teen’s relationship with spirituality is what matters most. One recent study found that adolescents with a strong spiritual framework engaged in less risky or violent behavior and were at lower-risk for substance abuse, depression, and suicide. Spirituality is individual for everyone and doesn’t require religious belief. Lisa Miller, psychologist and author of The Spiritual Child, defines spirituality as \”an inner sense of relationship to a higher power that is loving and guiding. The word we give to this higher power might be God, nature, spirit, the universe, the creator… spirituality encompasses our relationship… with this higher presence.\” When teens have a strong sense of a guiding power within, they never have to go into the Inmost Cave alone.

What we love about our favorite heroes and heroines is that, despite their difficulties, they always triumph in the end. You can support your teen on their Hero’s Journey by reminding them that they are setting out on the quest of a lifetime, and every step takes them closer to becoming the hero they are meant to be.

Conscious living is a lifelong practice, but teens have an edge in developing the skills to live in a more satisfying, self-aware way. During early adolescence the brain undergoes explosive growth in metacognition, or awareness of and ability to understand one’s own thought processes. Sometimes called “thinking about your thinking,” metacognition helps teens self-reflect, evaluate their own thoughts, feelings, and behavior, and make more thoughtful choices. The teen years are also when long-term habits develop. It\’s the perfect time for parents to provide teens with tools and techniques to grow into living consciously.

7 Strategies To Help Teens Embrace Conscious Living

1. Model metacognitive thinking Parents are their kids’ best role models when it comes to making conscious choices. The opposite of conscious living is going through life on autopilot, reacting instead of reflecting and responding to challenges. To boost your own self-awareness, cut down on mindless multitasking and find ways to practice mindfulness, even if it’s just a few moments of meditation each day. Let your kids observe you thinking through your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and taking action to change things that don’t serve you. When you put your own conscious-living practices in place, teens will take note.

2. Invite self-reflection When your teen talks to you about decisions or challenges, they’re facing, be genuinely curious. Avoid the temptation to leap to conclusions or give them advice. Ask open-ended questions and encourage them to explore their own thoughts and actions out loud. Thoughtful questions (instead of suggestions) help teens develop their metacognitive superpowers. Try asking “What do you think would happen if you tried ___?” or “What do you think your teacher meant by ___?”

3. Identify unhelpful habits Most of us, including teens, have a few unconscious habits that keep us from focusing on the things that are most important in life. Letting go of unhelpful habits is empowering for teens, but they have to be intrinsically motivated to do so. Parents can help by noticing when de-energizing habits (like staying up too late) are impacting activities that are important to teens (like getting to practice on time). Help teens see that they’re making a choice between values, and they’re ultimately the ones who decide where to put their energy.

4. Prioritize inner awareness For all of us, worrying too much about what other people think can get in the way of conscious living. Teens tend to be especially susceptible to worrying about the opinions of others and may ignore their own inner awareness if they think others will judge or exclude them. Living consciously means being brave, trusting our intuition, and making decisions based on our personal values. Parents can help steer kids back towards trusting themselves and letting go of the fear of being different.

5. Remind teens what they are in charge of A big part of conscious living is taking responsibility for the things we can control and letting go of the things we can’t. A powerful reminder: we are in charge of our own words, values, choices, mistakes, efforts, and behavior. We can’t control the words, values, choices, mistakes, efforts, or behavior of others. When teens are dealing with difficulty, help them find a response from the things they can control, instead of feeling frustrated by the things they can’t.

6. Encourage emotional intelligence Teens often experience surges of new, intense emotions. When they aren’t sure how to process these feelings, they can get overwhelmed, feel anxious, and either zone out or act out. Conscious living means accepting all emotions as valid and listening to and learning from them. Parents can help by normalizing talking about feelings and giving kids tools to process intense emotions, like mindful breathing, journaling, or talking things through with a mentor.

7. Spotlight how choices lead to change At its heart, conscious living is all about making choices – choices about what we value, where we put our time and attention, and how we want to live. Living consciously helps teens take empowered action towards ever-greater alignment with their values, vision, and goals. Parents can remind teens that whatever the circumstances, they can always choose how to respond, and any situation can be changed through reflection and action. Even through seemingly small acts, teens can craft the life they want to live, one conscious choice at a time.