1. 1. Let them make mistakes. Knowing when to step back and (gulp!) let your teen fail is one of parenting’s hardest lessons. Sounds radical, but confident kids aren’t afraid to make mistakes. Teens need to practice solving their own problems and figuring out what to do when things don’t go their way. Getting comfortable with failure is a key component of a growth mindset and boosts self-confidence.
   2. Stay on call. Confident teens take responsibility for themselves, but they also know when to call for backup. The teenage brain is a work in progress, and a parent’s perspective helps them make sense of the struggles they encounter. Knowing there’s a safety net of unconditional love and support makes all the difference when teens step outside their comfort zones
   3. Strengthen their sense of belonging. Support from parents matters most, but teens need extended family, friends, mentors, and community, too. The more people who care about and are invested in your teen, the better. Different kinds of supportive relationships give teens multiple experiences of mattering to others, and that sense of belonging helps them feel confident.
   4. Help them learn new things. Gaining skills and knowledge boosts kids’ confidence, too. The teenage brain is wired for explosive growth, seeking novelty, challenges, and new experiences. Parents can help by providing diverse opportunities for learning and growth. Everything from educational apps to volunteering together to subject-specific summer camps can spark your teen’s curiosity and develop their confidence.
   5. Ask for their advice. Let your teen know that you respect them and value their opinion. When you’re facing a tough decision or solving a problem, talk to them about it and ask what they would do in your place. Teens are used to being on the receiving end of a lot of advice. Asking for their perspective validates their maturity and helps them feel confident stepping into a more grown-up role.
   6. Practice scary scenarios. Whether they’re facing a difficult conversation with a friend, a big speech at school, or some other event that tests their confidence, practice empowers teens to show up as the best version of themselves. You can offer to role-play the situation or talk through different possible responses or outcomes. Nothing builds confidence like having been there before.
   7. Take on challenges together. Confidence comes from achieving goals and learning how to handle setbacks and failure. Taking on challenges together as a family can empower teens to tackle their own individual aims. Run a 5K, build a treehouse, or download a self-care app together– any challenge works as long as everybody is equally invested in success.
   8. Watch for their sensitive spots. Teens are painfully aware that everything from their appearance to their abilities and achievements is under constant scrutiny from peers. Most teens are confident in some areas but not so much in others. Parents can help teens make sure these sensitive spots don’t override their overall confidence. Help them practice self-compassion, embrace their uniqueness, play up their skills and positive qualities, and surround themselves with people who love them just as they are.
   9. Protect against perfectionism. Perfectionism in teens is a big confidence-killer. High-achieving teens can get discouraged when their efforts fall short of their ideals, like the athlete driven by body dysmorphia or the honor roll student overwhelmed by anxiety because they’re not ranked top of their class. Help your teen value growth, learning, fun, and friendship over perfect scores, and remind them that their worth can’t be measured by numbers. Confident teens take pride in their achievements but don’t let those achievements define them.
   10. Model and praise courage. It’s been said that confidence is a feeling, while courage is a choice. We can’t always feel confident, but we can still choose to act with courage. When you let your teen see you being brave, you’re showing them how to face their fears, too. And when you praise their courageous acts, it validates them for taking the risk to grow. Confidence may not be necessary to act courageously, but courage always builds confidence.

Visualization is creating a visual image in one’s mind or mentally rehearsing to learn skills or enhance performance. It allows us to experience and feel a situation that hasn\’t happened yet as if it were real. Imagining ourselves performing an action activates the same neurons in the brain as when we actually do that action. With practice, visualization builds new neural pathways that make a goal feel achievable. Visualization can also help us stay motivated and focused by stimulating the release of the feel-good neurotransmitter dopamine. Boosting brain power with visualization has big benefits for teens:

1. It reduces stress and anxiety. Visualization makes a new situation feel familiar, so it’s not so intimidating. In one study, teens who used visualization showed lower levels of anxiety and better overall mental health.
2. It builds confidence and coping skills. Visualization allows teens to imagine problems and possible solutions, giving them the confidence to cope with challenges.
3. It activates the subconscious mind. While the conscious mind is visualizing, the subconscious generates creative ideas and seeks novel connections to support teens in achieving their goals.
4. It builds motivation. As the saying goes, “Seeing is believing.” When teens are able to see themselves as successful, they are more likely to stretch themselves.

Our Top Visualization Tips for Teens:

Relax the Body and the Brain. If teens are stressed or unfocused, visualization won’t work. To get the most out of visualization, teens should pick a time when they’re alert but relaxed, like after they wake up, after a few minutes of mindfulness, or just before they go to bed. If it’s before a performance or a test, teach them to take a few slow, deep breaths, feel their feet on the floor, and relax their chest, arms, hands, and face before they begin. Activating the nervous system’s relaxation response makes the brain more receptive to input from visualization.

Imagine Emotions. Visualization is more effective when it includes the feelings that inspire teens to reach for their goals. In other words, don’t just picture success: feel it. Help teens get specific in describing the way they want to feel, like powerful, proud, triumphant, fearless, or overjoyed. Then help them imagine feeling those emotions in the present moment. Positive emotions are motivating, and they help edge out any feelings of fear or self-doubt.

Make a Mind Movie. One popular visualization technique asks teens to imagine sitting down to watch a movie of themselves achieving their goal. They envision their progress down to the tiniest detail: their clothes, facial expressions, movements, environment, and any other people. They watch themselves performing perfectly. To go one step further, teens can imagine actually stepping into the screen and experiencing it all over again with their five senses, hearing the sounds, smelling the smells, and feeling the sensations in their bodies. The more sensory details are included, the more real the visualization will feel.

Create a Vision Board. A vision board is a next-level tool for manifesting multiple goals. To make one, teens need poster board, scissors, a glue stick, and a stack of magazines. They’ll flip through the magazines and cut out any images or words that represent their goals and dreams, then make a collage of the images. Digitally inclined teens can make a vision board online with free templates from Canva. Whatever the format, experts say the key is to keep engaging with the vision board. Encourage teens to put it in a place where they’ll see it frequently, update it with new images, and focus on the happy vibes they feel. Even better: when you make vision boards together as a family, you can support each other in making your dreams come true.

Fans of visualization say it’s an almost magical method for manifesting what we wish for. It can help teens get inspired, feel confident, stay motivated, and achieve the goals that matter most to them… what could be more magical than that? 

Active listening is listening like you mean it: you’re completely present and open to what the other person is sharing, and they know you care about what they have to say. According to the Center for Parenting Education, “Active listening is a very sophisticated skill that can take years to master. Because you may not have been raised in a home in which this kind of listening was practiced and because very little of it occurs in our society, it can feel like you are learning a second language.” While active listening may be a challenge to master, it’s a real game-changer with teens. Here are five active listening skills you can put into practice today:

1. Make sure you’re “all ears.”

The single most powerful way to upgrade your listening skills is to practice being fully present. Life is busy, fast-paced, and full of distractions, and that makes it tough to tune in to our teens. But nothing says “I’m here for you” like focusing your full attention on your teen. When they’re talking to you, stop multitasking and try to eliminate distractions (put down your phone, silence notifications, or turn off the car radio). Notice if you’re thinking about the past, the future, or your to-do list. If you’re feeling scattered, take a few slow, deep breaths and bring your attention back to the present moment.

2. Pay attention to your body language.

Body language says a lot about how well we’re listening. When your teen is talking, turn toward them and lean in slightly. Smile, nod, and mirror their facial expressions to let them know you empathize. Most teens appreciate eye contact, but if they’re feeling shy or sharing a sensitive subject, they may prefer to be side-by-side. (Lots of parents have great talks with teens while driving.) A pat on the back or a gentle arm squeeze also feels good to teens who like physical affection.

3. Try not to interrupt or give advice (until they ask for it).

Parents have a lot more life experience than kids, and we’d do anything to protect them from the pain of misjudgments and mistakes. It’s common for parents to listen until we think we get the gist and then step in with our own ideas, but that can leave teens feeling unheard. Try to just listen until your teen is done talking, and wait a little longer than usual before you speak up. If they don’t ask for your perspective, you can say, “I have an idea about that if you’re open to hearing it.” With active listening, you don’t have to have all the answers. Think of it like teaching your teen to drive: you can sit beside them and offer support, but they’re the one who steers.

4. Reflect back what you’re hearing.

Another active listening upgrade is to paraphrase what your teen tells you and repeat it back to them. This can feel awkward at first, but it lets teens know you really get what they’re saying – or gives them a chance to clarify. For example, if your teen says, “I hate Olivia! She told everybody I got a C on the test and I feel so stupid,” you can reflect back: “You must feel embarrassed and angry that she shared information you wanted to keep private. It’s hard when a friend lets you down like that.”

5. Ask the right kind of questions.

Make sure your questions are non-judgmental and clarifying. Nothing shuts down a conversation faster than a question that sounds like criticism: What were you thinking?! Clarifying questions seek a better understanding of the message your teen wants to get across. You might ask them to clarify facts about what happened or say more about how they feel. By avoiding the feeling of judgment, clarifying questions give teens an opportunity to self-reflect, see the situation in a new light, and think about possible next steps. Clarifying questions gently guide teens toward deeper understanding and self-awareness while keeping their sense of autonomy intact.

Practicing these five skills lets your teen know that you care about them, respect them, and value what they have to say, so they’re more likely to listen when it’s your turn to talk. And best of all, active listening will deepen your teen’s trust in you, ensuring that you’re the one they turn to when they need a listening ear or a helping hand. 

Encourage emotional awareness.

“The gateway to empathy is emotional literacy,” says Michele Borba, educational psychologist and author of UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World. Talking about feelings is how kids learn that emotions matter – their own and others’. Teens first need to know how to identify their feelings. Are they sad, mad, frustrated, hurt? Parents can help teens name and claim emotions by reflecting and asking questions: “It sounds like you’re upset. Are you angry?” The more aware teens are of their own emotions, the more they’ll pay attention to the emotions of others. Parents can ask teens how others might feel, too: “What do you think Jackson was feeling when he said that?” And make sure your teen knows that you have emotions, too. Teens value authenticity. When parents can be vulnerable, it builds trust and a closer connection.

Nurture multigenerational relationships.

Relationships across generations are beneficial for all ages, but they’re especially powerful for teaching teens about compassion. A few generations back, it was common for teens to help take care of younger siblings or senior relatives. These connections teach teens what it means to be responsible for others and often show them just how capable they really are. They also help teens develop compassion for those whose abilities differ from their own. When helping your teen build multigenerational relationships, start close to home. Is there a family member, friend, or neighbor who needs help? Can your teen earn extra money babysitting or running errands for seniors? Many cities have nonprofits that focus on multigenerational relationships. Teens can volunteer to teach technology or deliver meals to seniors, serve as a camp counselor, or tutor a younger student.

Explore different perspectives together.

Think about how you can help your teen develop awareness of cultural, ethnic, and religious plurality as well as differences in age, gender, ability, and economic background. \”Attitudes are caught not taught,\” says LuAnn Hoover, instructor of family studies and human services at Kansas State University. \”Nonverbal actions are picked up on. Kids don\’t attend to what adults say but to what they do. It\’s the saying, \’Actions speak louder than words.\’\” In other words, to embrace different perspectives, teens need to see you walking the talk. Make a project of exploring diverse perspectives and experiences together. Visit museums, watch movies, read books, try different cuisines, and attend local festivals. Emphasize the differences and connections in your own family and community, and help your teen see that they are a part of a big, diverse, interdependent world.

Rethink the chore chart.

Research shows that kids who do chores report better family relationships, but many parents say they’d rather do the chores themselves than have to nag their teens or fight over the definition of a clean room. One problem may be that, in many families, chores aren’t directly connected to caring for each other. Instead of randomly assigning tasks, try sitting down with your teen to rework the chore chart with a focus on how you can support each other. For example, if you work late on Wednesdays, would your teen be willing to get dinner on the table? If your teen has to wake up extra early for practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays, could those days be chore-free? When your teen pitches in, make sure you let them know how they’ve helped you: “Thanks for getting your brother ready for school. It gave me extra time to prepare for a big meeting and made my whole day go so much smoother. I really appreciate you.”

There’s nothing as rewarding as seeing your teen express empathy or lend a helping hand to someone in need. These four strategies help teens build rewarding relationships, develop responsibility, and, most importantly, find fulfillment in caring for others. 

First, let’s look at the downside. Researchers say social media plays a major role in teen mental health, bullying, and body image. Several studies link increased time spent on social media with higher rates of depression and suicide among teens. During the COVID-19 pandemic, rates of cyberbullying increased as teens spent more time online, with 21% of adolescents between the ages of 10-18 reporting some form of cyberbullying. And 40% of teens say their body image is negatively impacted by Instagram and other social media apps. Another worry is that teens can’t seem to stop social media: in one study, 67% of parents said they have been concerned that their teen is addicted. Privacy is also paramount, as parents wonder how their teens\’ data is collected and how it will be used.

Despite these troubling statistics, experts agree that not all of the responsibility lies with social media. Psychologist Jeffrey Pickens says, “We cannot blame technology for our social problems. These tools, like any other, can be used for good or mischief.” As with any other tool, Pickens says parents must educate themselves, set appropriate boundaries, and talk to their teens about potential pitfalls. “It is important for parents to talk with teens about the pros and cons of online interactions, how to defend themselves from negative people and messages, and how to enjoy activities that unplug us from the online metaverse.” Pickens and others say that parents taking an active role in their teens’ digital lives helps them avoid straying too far into the scary side of social media.

And while the upside of social media gets less attention, the benefits to teens are real. It allows teens to build meaningful relationships, express themselves creatively, learn about the world, develop empathy, and experiment with crafting their identities. Online communities provide (sometimes life-saving) support for teens, especially those who identify as LBGTQIA+, have disabilities or illnesses, or are socially excluded. Many teens use social media to make an outsized impact as activists, artists, and entrepreneurs. In a 2018 Pew Research survey, 81% of teens said social media helps them feel more connected to what’s going on in their friends’ lives, 71% said it allows them to show their creativity, and 68% said it gives them the feeling that they have people who can support them through tough times.

To help teens make the best of social media and stay safe, experts recommend that parents implement the following strategies:

• Wait to get them their first phone. Most kids in the U.S. get their first phone at age 10. While every family should base the decision on their individual needs, waiting even a little longer can benefit kids by giving them more time to mature. “The younger that they are, the more likely they are to have more online harassment happen, because they\’ve been on it longer, they have more followers, they have more chances for mean things happening online, (and) more online drama,” says Linda Charmaraman, PhD, founder and director of the Youth, Media & Wellbeing Research Lab at Wellesley.

• Monitor their accounts. When kids do get their first phone, let them know that you’ll be checking their social media accounts regularly. Once a week is a good goal. Since it’s harder to set a new rule once teens are used to phone freedom, it’s best to start early and stay consistent.

• Give them examples and explain what’s ok and not ok. Adolescents need to know exactly what counts as gossiping, bullying, or spreading rumors, as well as explanations for why it\’s hurtful and what harm it causes. They also need to know what’s safe and appropriate to share and what isn’t. Set rules, but talk about them together so teens know you’re concerned for their safety, not trying to control them or invade their privacy.

• Prioritize face-to-face friendships. The COVID-19 pandemic upended teens’ social lives and made online connections an even bigger part of their reality. But social media is no substitute for real-world connections, and teens need a balance of both. Encourage your teen’s offline friendships by getting to know their friends, planning fun activities, and providing transportation and a safe space to hang out.

• Keep talking and hold each other accountable. Parents can be a powerful example of social media self-awareness. Pay attention to your own social media habits and screen time. Talk to your teen about digital devices and different platforms. Ask genuinely curious questions. Decide together what your family’s best practices look like, from setting up a charging station for phones outside bedrooms to planning device-free fun time.

Above all, remember that you’re still the most important influence in your teen’s life. When you stay as involved in their online life as you are offline, teens can explore social media and experience its benefits while staying safe. 

1. Get curious about your teen’s dreams and passions.

What takes a goal across the finish line? A plan is important, but motivation matters most of all. Before you introduce the idea of goal setting with your teen, ask yourself: how well do you know what motivates them? What are they passionate about? Are you sure they’re following their passions and not yours? We often pressure teens to go for the goals that are most important from a parents’ perspective, but this strategy can sometimes backfire. Teens are more likely to grow into goal-oriented adults if they are motivated by genuine excitement and curiosity, rather than external factors like approval from others. To help your teen tap into their intrinsic motivation, get curious about their interests. Ask questions, be willing to learn, and feel excited with them. Your belief in them empowers them to believe in themselves.

2. Set goals together.

The most effective way to teach teens how to set goals is to make it fun and do it as a family. Setting goals together provides motivation and accountability and gives teens a template to use for individual goals later on. Family goals can be as simple as cooking dinner together one night a week or as complex as planning a once-in-a-lifetime trip. To get started, pick an easier goal and then work your way up to bigger targets. Make sure everyone is equally invested, agrees to their roles and responsibilities, and gets a say in choosing how to celebrate success. For example, the family could start by planning and training to run a 5K together. Once that goal has been achieved, you could then choose to train for a longer race, or try racing a fun obstacle course designed for all ages. Each time you achieve one goal, have the teens decide how they should top it.

3. Find your formula and make a roadmap.

First published in 1981 by George Doran, the SMART formula is a classic way to teach teens to map out their goals. SMART goals are:

• Specific: You can define exactly what you want to achieve.
• Measurable: You can measure what you have achieved and know when you have achieved it.
• Achievable: Your goal will stretch you, but you know you can realistically reach it.
• Relevant: Your goal matters to you and aligns with your values.
• Time-based: You have a target date to reach your goal.

Another goal setting formula that’s great for teens is WOOP, developed by Dr. Garbrielle Oettingin:

• Wish: What’s your wish? It should be challenging but attainable.
• Outcome: What’s the best outcome you hope to achieve?
• Obstacle: What’s the main obstacle that stands in the way of your wish being fulfilled?
• Plan: What can you do to overcome that obstacle?

Whatever the formula, encourage your teen to map their goal with pen and paper or a digital device. Goals can be mapped in a journal or notebook, on poster board with colorful markers, or on a chalkboard wall. WOOP has a free app for Android and iOS, and planner and calendar apps are great for tracking reminders, milestones, and target dates.

4. Make it happen with micro goals.

Just like adults, teens can be master procrastinators when it comes to goals. Paradoxically, the higher teens aim, the harder it can be to make meaningful progress. The reason? High expectations and fear of failure compound stress. Teach teens to dream big but work towards their goals in small steps. Micro goals break a goal down into easily-achievable aims and prioritize consistent progress, even if it’s slow. Researchers at Stanford University found that small, incremental success is motivating at the beginning of a new project, but as they get closer to the finish line, teens should pick up the pace and focus on the excitement they’ll feel when they cross it.

5. Help them choose the right goals.

According to the nonprofit Challenge Success, “a narrow definition of success is hurting our kids.” Overemphasis on test scores, grades, and college admissions means teens are overwhelmingly sleep-deprived, worried about academics, and dealing with stress-related health symptoms. Goals should empower teens and expand their sense of what’s possible, not become a source of harmful stress. Parents can help teens choose goals wisely: What would make their lives more meaningful? How can they make a positive impact on the world – while also having fun? What would make them most proud of themselves? Goals should be values-based, challenging, and attainable.

With these five strategies, teens can learn practical skills for goal setting while staying connected to their passion and purpose. How’s that for a definition of success? 

• They feel deep emotions
• They are introverted and need time alone to recharge
• They take criticism and disagreements hard
• They are extra-sensitive to their surroundings (light, temperature, noise, etc.)
• They are creative and/or deep thinkers
• They get easily overwhelmed or overstimulated
• They often deal with anxiety
• They are intuitive about others’ feelings
• They have a few close friends instead of a huge social circle

It’s important for both parents and teens to know that sensitivity is a personality trait, not a disorder, and most highly sensitive adults say they see their sensitivity as a gift. To discover the superpowers in their sensitivity, teens need help learning to manage their nervous systems and navigating a world that feels too intense at times. Here are our top four tips for supporting your highly sensitive teen.

1. Understand sensitivity and help them see their strengths.

If you think your teen is highly sensitive, you can gain perspective by reading psychologist Elaine Aron’s book The Highly Sensitive Person. The first researcher to define the trait, Aron is an HSP (highly sensitive person) herself. She’s also written a special series of blog posts for teens. Because the majority of the population is not as sensitive, many highly sensitive teens feel like there’s something wrong with them. Maybe they don’t like crowded parties or noisy concerts, struggle with public speaking, or feel completely deflated after a disagreement with a friend. They may have been called a crybaby, made fun of, or told to “toughen up.” Aron helps parents and teens define sensitivity, understand its strengths, and learn to manage it in a positive, proactive way.

2. Build a foundation of wellness.

Wellness is important for all teens, but it’s even more so for HSPs. Highly sensitive teens need stable routines for diet, exercise, and sleep to keep their nervous systems running smoothly. Start with simple goals, like making sure they get 8 to10 hours of sleep and eat a healthy breakfast every morning. Teach your teen how to HALT: when they’re feeling Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired (or overwhelmed in any way). They can take a pause and do some self-care, like going for a walk or just closing their eyes for one minute to breathe. Research has found that all teens, including HSPs, should get at least one hour of moderate to vigorous exercise most days. Besides the physical benefits, exercise helps highly sensitive teens stay mentally and emotionally grounded.

3. Help them manage hectic schedules.

Between school, homework, extracurricular activities, after-school jobs, and time with friends and family, teens lead busy lives. Highly sensitive teens can easily get overwhelmed juggling it all. Most HSPs need extra rest and time alone to recharge. Teach your teen to prioritize their own well-being first, followed by the responsibilities and relationships that matter most to them. Help them schedule downtime, and suggest tools for self-care and managing stress, like these mini-meditations. If they seem drained, irritable, or overly emotional, ask them if they need a break and let them know you’re here to help. Make sure they know the need for downtime isn’t a weakness. Instead, it activates sensitivity superpowers like creativity and intuition, and helps them have more energy for the things they care about.

4. Empower them to be independent.

Lots of highly sensitive teens experience anxiety or seem to struggle more than most with everyday challenges. This can send well-meaning parents into helicopter mode, but it\’s important for sensitive teens to learn how to be independent, too. Think about how you can empower them to stretch themselves without overdoing it. Highly sensitive teens may need extra structure and support to meet their goals, like talking through options, clarifying their values, and setting micro-goals. One mom says she was worried when her highly sensitive daughter planned to go to the same huge state university as her two best friends. But, after a few campus visits and heart-to-heart talks, she decided on a college with smaller classes and more mentorship for first year students. “She’s really found her niche there, and she’s so proud that she made the right choice for herself.”

Highly sensitive teens are special. They are empathetic, conscientious, perceptive, creative, and often driven by high ideals and care and concern for others. With your support, your teen can learn to see their sensitivity as a superpower and start using it to make the world a better place.

Nothing is harder for parents than seeing their child struggle and not knowing how to help. It’s important to remember that while there’s no single solution to stress, parents can do a lot to help teens recognize, reduce, and manage stress so it doesn’t get overwhelming. Here are four research-backed, time-tested stress strategies for teens.

1. Teach teens the difference between stress and anxiety.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, stress is “the physical or mental response to an external cause, such as having a lot of homework or having an illness.” Anxiety is the body’s internal reaction to stress, and it can happen even when there’s no current threat. In other words, stress goes away when the problem is resolved, but anxiety recurs, usually as a “persistent feeling of apprehension or dread that doesn’t go away.” When teens understand the difference between stress and anxiety, they can break down a big feeling of overwhelm into more manageable chunks. Since stress is external it often has an external solution, like getting help from a teacher, adjusting their schedule, or talking to a counselor. Taking concrete steps can help relieve internal anxiety by reducing the external causes of stress.

2. Teach teens to recognize how stress affects them.

Stress impacts teens physically, mentally, emotionally, and socially. Some common physical symptoms include headaches, stomachaches, and more frequent colds or other minor illnesses. Stressed teens may have trouble sleeping, feel more irritable or moody, struggle with learning and concentration, or isolate themselves socially. Negative self-talk and worry are also signs of stress. Parents can help teens understand the link between stress and symptoms like these and address the stress before it gets worse. If you notice a change in your teen’s health or behavior, simply asking, “Do you think this might have something to do with stress?” is a great way to start a conversation about the root cause.

3. Help teens build a strong network of relationships.

Social support equals better mental health for teens. Parents can’t do it all alone, and each trusted relationship in a teen’s life is a potential source of support when they’re dealing with stress. According to Search Institute, the most powerful relationships for teens to cultivate are developmental relationships with adults who express care, challenge teens to grow, provide support, share power and respect, and expand their possibilities. Teens might form developmental relationships with parents, teachers, mentors, coaches, or extended family members. And solid friendships with peers are important, too. One study found that adolescents who spent time with peers after a stressful event were less likely to feel sadness or worry than those who spent time alone.

4. Help teens build a toolkit of coping skills.

The teenage years expose kids to a whole new set of potential stressors, from academic pressures to more complex relationships. When parents help teens develop coping skills for everyday problems, they have a ready-made toolkit to deploy for life’s bigger stresses. You can make managing stress a family project and help your teen figure out what works best for them. A few ideas: see our picks for the best mindfulness and meditation apps for teens, or try these techniques for re-centering with nature. And don’t forget simple practices like keeping a gratitude journal; studies show that experiencing gratitude builds resilience and buffers against depression.

Stress is a part of life, but remember that it’s not always negative. Healthy stress, for example, can motivate teens to study hard for a test or practice until they master a new skill. Stress becomes dangerous when it becomes too much for teens to manage and affects their mental and physical health. These techniques empower teens to recognize, reduce, and manage their stress: a skill that will serve them well for the rest of their lives. 

1. A predictable routine

One of the best ways parents can help teens manage their time is to be a little boring. Researchers at the University of Georgia found that teens with consistent schedules at home reported higher levels of self-control and emotional well-being and were less likely to use alcohol and more likely to enroll in college. Teens with routines also tested for lower levels of the stress hormone epinephrine. “The big takeaway is to help your child navigate the teen years, make their lives predictable,” says the study’s lead author Allen Barton. To minimize pushback and make it work for everyone, parents and teens can create routines together. Try establishing bedtimes, mealtimes, after-school schedules, and limits on screen time, and balance it out with lots of unscheduled time on the weekends.

2. Micro-goals

Two-thirds of teens say they are “constantly worried” about school and their workload is a major source of stress, according to the nonprofit Challenge Success. Academic pressure leads many teens to procrastinate and feel anxious and overwhelmed by their goals, instead of excited and optimistic. Parents can help teens break down big, potentially scary processes–think college applications–into manageable steps using micro-goals. Start by reducing the “barrier to entry,” or making the first step so simple there’s no fear of failure. Then sort the entire process into easily-achievable goals, put each task on a timeline, and schedule daily or weekly time for your teen to work towards their goals. Finally, make sure to celebrate their successes. Each micro-goal they complete is a milestone.

3. Time Travel

Teach teens to put themselves in the shoes of their future selves. The “time travel” strategy, developed by psychologist and researcher Fuschia Sirois, uses visualization to imagine how great it will feel to complete a task successfully or attain an aim. Teens can travel through time to envision the outcome of any goal, and visualization can also help them imagine solutions to problems and setbacks they encounter along the way. By engaging teens emotionally, visualization motivates them to stay aligned with their dreams for the future.

4. An award-winning planner

Digital calendars, tracking tools, and reminders all help teens stay organized, but for developing executive function skills, a paper planner may still be best. Writing things down helps teens organize their thoughts, visualize a plan, and feel in control. Academic and parenting coach Leslie Joesel created the Order Out Of Chaos academic planner specifically to help teens focus, prioritize, and manage their time and tasks effectively. The planner\’s practical design includes school assignments placed alongside extracurricular and weekend activities, a Next Week/Notes section to help teens track complex projects, and visual aids that make it a cinch to use.

5. Analog clocks

Besides paper planners, Joesel offers another old-school time management hack for parents: analog clocks. In this YouTube video, Joesel says analog clocks help kids visualize the movement of time, which better prepares them to manage it. “The problem with digital is that digital only gives you one time: the present, so you can’t see what came before it, how much time you have left, or (see)… time move.” Joesel encourages parents to put an analog clock in every room their teen spends time in, including the bedroom, bathroom, and wherever they do their homework. Time management strategists say analog watches are great for teens, too.

6. Reward Substitution

Digital devices and social media distraction are a huge hurdle for teens who are learning time management. Since limiting screen time is not always an option, parents also need to help teens develop internal controls to dial down the temptation. One simple but effective strategy is Reward Substitution, created by behavioral economics professor Dan Ariely. To practice, teens create a habit that links a long-term goal with something immediately fun or relaxing, like rewarding themselves with 15 minutes of game time for each hour of study completed. Experiencing immediate rewards while working towards a long-term goal helps teens stay motivated and get in the habit of managing their time wisely.