1. Take a 90-second pause.

Self-criticism is often accompanied by anxiety, anger or other strong emotions. This technique from Harvard neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor helps teens identify and self-regulate those feelings, then choose a more compassionate approach. Intense emotions cause a cascade of chemical changes in the amygdala that dissipates after only about 90 seconds. Instead of getting stuck in a negativity loop, teens can set a timer on their phones and take slow, deep breaths, just allowing their feelings to be what they are without judgment. When the timer goes off, they can notice what’s shifted and ask themselves if they are able to see the situation with more self-compassion.

2. Notice and change self-talk. 

Self-talk is our habitual internal monologue. It reflects unconscious beliefs and biases about ourselves and the world, and a lot of our self-talk is critical. To break the habit of negative self-talk, first teach teens to pay attention to the voice in their heads, especially when it’s self-focused. What words and tone do they use? How does their self-talk make them feel? Since self-talk is a habit, it can be changed. To do that, teens can acknowledge any worries or fears they’re feeling, then talk back to that inner voice from a more compassionate place: “I know it’s scary to put yourself out there, but I’m proud of you and I want you to succeed. You’ve worked hard and I know you’ve got this.” \\

3. Treat yourself like your own best friend.

We all want friends who see us as we really are, love us unconditionally, and forgive us when we make mistakes. When teens are being hard on themselves, teach them to imagine how they would talk to a friend who has the same strengths and challenges. They would never tell a good friend to toughen up and work harder to be perfect, and it won’t help to say that to themselves, either. Remind teens that support and understanding are always more motivating than judgment and criticism. The acceptance of our friends helps us become the best version of ourselves, so let’s treat ourselves with the same outlook.

4. Zoom out and zoom in.

Teens face a lot of pressure from peers, social media and society to look and act a certain way, and external pressures can easily be internalized as self-criticism. Zooming out helps teens shift their perspective to the big picture and ask what else – or who else – is making them feel “less than”. Did they see something that triggered feelings of self-doubt or shame? Are they putting the opinions of others – real or imagined – above their own? Do the voices making them feel bad deserve to take up space inside their heads? Zooming in then shifts the perspective back to their own inner experience: What really matters to them? What do the people who love and care about them think? And can they choose to put their own feelings and well-being first?

5. Curate a self-compassionate social feed.

Whether you’re a teen or an adult, social media can make you feel great or terrible about yourself. It all depends on which messages and images you’re  taking in every day. So why not curate your feed to help you level up on your own self-compassion skills? A few of our favorites to follow are artist and author Morgan Harper Nichols, clinical psychologist Kristin Neff, Ph.D., writer Yung Pueblo, and researcher and author Brené Brown. Positive posts remind you to make self-compassion a family priority and can start great conversations between you and your teen. If your teen is on social media, encourage them to make their own feed more feel-good, too. Try our own @meetlucero and @teenselfcompassion to start.

Can something so simple really make a difference to teens? A recent study of nearly 400 11th-graders says yes. The more students practiced mindful breathing techniques, the more they reported feeling capable of managing stress. Lead researcher Deborah Schussler says that’s because mindful breathing buys teens time to take charge of their emotions. “It gives you a pause so that automatic response, which is frequently not the best response, is hijacked.” Another big plus, Schussler says, is that mindful breathing is “a portable practice that students can easily integrate anytime, anywhere.” To introduce the benefits of mindful breathing to your teen, try these four research-backed practices:

• Box Breathing 

Best for: emotional self-regulation, managing stress and anxiety

Picture a box with four equal sides. Inhale to a count of four as you mentally trace one of the sides of the box. Then hold your breath for a count of four, tracing another side. Then exhale to a count of four, and hold for a count of four. Repeat. Box breathing is used by soldiers, first responders and others to stay calm and in control in high-stress situations. It works by taming the sympathetic nervous system response, which ramps up stress hormones like cortisol as the body prepares to fight or flee. Box breathing can be used in any situation that triggers stress. It’s especially useful for teens with anxiety of any kind (like social, performance, or test anxiety) or teens who struggle to stay in control of intense emotions.

• Body Scan

Best for: relaxation, self-care, teens who have trouble winding down

A body scan meditation is usually guided by a recording, like this practice on Insight Timer. It’s a step-by-step way to relax the body by breathing deeply and focusing on one part at a time: “Bring your attention to your feet. Feel the sensations of your feet resting against the floor, the texture of your socks. Maybe wiggle your toes. Now imagine that you can send your breath down into your feet, relaxing them completely as you exhale.” When teens are tense, they tend to hold their breath. Shallow breathing stimulates the amygdala, the part of the brain that’s responsible for processing stressful stimuli, and makes it even harder for teens to calm down. Listening to a body scan helps teens relax and can even help them fall asleep. Try doing this practice as a family to give everyone a little much-needed down-time.

• Counting Breaths

Best for: focus and concentration, neurodiverse teens

The simple technique of counting breaths can help teens train their brains to boost focus and concentration. One study asked participants to track their breaths on each exhale, counting one through nine and then starting over after the ninth breath. Not surprisingly, experienced meditators found it easier to pay attention. That means the more teens practice, the more they enhance their ability to focus. All participants reported “more self-awareness, less mind wandering, better mood and less distraction.” The results suggest that counting breaths may be especially beneficial for teens with ADHD or on the autism spectrum, as well as any teen who needs help directing attention. To track concentration with your teen, try counting up to ten breaths at a time.

• Energizing Breath

Best for: energy and alertness

Does your teen struggle to stay awake in boring classes or get tired when they’re studying? This breath practice can help them regulate the flow of oxygen in their blood, which energizes the body and makes the brain more alert. Diaphragmatic breathing or “belly breathing” engages the diaphragm by relaxing the muscles of the stomach and allowing deep, full breaths. It’s the way we should be breathing all the time, but factors like stress, hunching over phones or computers, and even sucking in our stomachs to look thinner cause us to breathe shallowly. Teach teens to inhale deeply to a count of two, then exhale to a count of two. Then inhale to a count of two, and exhale to a count of three. Continue breathing in to a count of two and extending the exhale each time until they’re exhaling to a count of five. In only about one minute, teens get an almost-instant energy uplift.

What it is:

Oxford Languages defines gratitude as the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and return kindness. We all know what it means to be grateful, but brain changes are triggered by powerful emotions, not just words. Imagine your heart overflowing with gratitude for all of life’s blessings. The cascade of good feelings unleashes gratitude’s benefits.

How it works:

Numerous studies link gratitude to increased activity in the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for logic, learning, and decision making. Gratitude also increases serotonin and activates the production of dopamine, two neurotransmitters associated with happiness and well-being. Additional research correlates gratitude with feelings of positivity towards oneself and others and relief from stress.

Because the prefrontal cortex is developing until about age 25, teens process experiences with their more emotional limbic brains, especially the amygdala. That makes teens more susceptible to stress than adults: they don’t yet have the complete neurological framework to put things in perspective. A regular gratitude practice helps teens learn how to cultivate positive thoughts and emotions and shift their focus away from stressors. One study of adolescent victims of bullying even showed that gratitude lowered suicide risk among these vulnerable teens.

How to put it into practice:

Researchers say most teens (and adults!) need help making gratitude a habit. Consistency is key to shift the focus toward positive thoughts and feelings and away from negative ones. These four strategies are a great place to start:

• Share gratitude at mealtimes. 

Lots of families share something they’re grateful for when they sit down to dinner together. You can make this practice even more meaningful by helping to strengthen the emotional connection. For example, after each person has shared, take a moment to close your eyes, hold hands, and give thanks silently or out loud. Or specifically share things you’re grateful for in each other: “Sebastian, it warmed my heart when you helped your granddad get out of the car yesterday. I see how much you care about others and how thoughtful you are. Thank you.”

• Keep a gratitude journal together.

In one study, participants who wrote about their grateful feelings felt significantly happier about themselves and more optimistic about their lives. Writing is powerful because it gives teens time to reflect on and really feel the positive emotions which, in turn, helps support those healthy changes in the brain. To make the habit sustainable for tech-savvy teens, download the free Three Good Things gratitude app (developed by a 17-year-old) and make it a family goal to record and share your daily lists.

• Write gratitude letters.

Paper letters and thank you notes are quickly becoming a thing of the past, but there’s still something special about handwritten appreciation. Research has found that just by writing three letters of gratitude over time increased participants’ overall happiness and life satisfaction. Set an example by dropping a surprise note of gratitude in your teen’s backpack or writing all the things you love about them in their birthday card. Then keep a stack of thank you notes, envelopes and stamps on hand and encourage them to write notes to teachers, coaches, family members, friends, or mentors they feel grateful for. 

• Empower teens to spread gratitude to others. 

Gratitude is contagious in the best way: when we tell someone we’re grateful for them, they feel good, and they’re more likely to share those positive vibes with others. When your teen is in on the secret, they’re perfectly poised to spread gratitude and empathy among their friends and peers. Teach them that gratitude is a great way to support someone who’s feeling down or needs a confidence boost. Simply letting someone know, “I see you and I’m grateful for you” is one way teens can share the love with others– and make themselves feel great, too!

Burnout affects teens physically, mentally, and emotionally and causes changes in behavior. Physical symptoms include fatigue, lowered immunity, more frequent illness, changes in appetite and sleep, and chronic headaches or upset stomachs. Stressed teens may struggle with focus and concentration, engage in risky behavior, or act irritable, moody, or cynical.

They describe feelings of anxiety, dread, self-doubt, and hopelessness. They often withdraw from friends, family, and activities they once enjoyed. And while any teen is susceptible to burnout, high-achieving and perfectionistic teens experience it at higher rates. If the causes of a teen’s stress don’t change, burnout’s symptoms can go into a downward spiral, worsening over time.

It’s a scary scenario for parents, but researchers remind us that burnout always has an identifiable cause, and therefore can be resolved. “Oftentimes, burnout and depression can mirror each other,” says psychologist Adam Borland. “However, depression is a diagnosable mental health condition, whereas burnout is not.” Depression is generalized and often has no specific cause, but burnout happens in response to one or multiple stressors.

This means that parents and teens can work together to identify the sources of stress and alleviate it. Better yet, parents can use these six strategies to help their teens manage stress and avoid burnout altogether:

Set a positive example. 

Burnout is contagious. If you’re working 12-hour days, feeling overwhelmed all the time, and experiencing the ill effects of chronic stress, your teen is likely feeling it, too. Parents who don’t address their own burnout teach teens that unhealthy stress levels are normal or even a badge of honor. To help your teen, help yourself first. Make sure your teen sees you prioritizing your own well-being and making time for rest, relaxation, exercise, and fun.

Integrate stress management into family time. 

Managing stress often comes down to maintaining healthy habits, and teens learn those habits at home. Routines are stabilizing, so encourage your teen to wake up, go to bed, and eat meals around the same time each day. Other stress-busting habits include regular exercise, boundaries on screen time, and in person social connections with friends and family. Try cooking dinner together one  night a week, planning a regular hike or bike ride, or scheduling shared downtime one weekend a month.

Talk about feelings. 

Burnout’s most harmful consequences show up when teens feel unsupported and alone. Keeping the lines of communication open with your teen helps them process stress and talk through problems before they become critical. Let your teen know their feelings matter and help them develop a robust vocabulary for talking about emotions and stress. Remind them that their well-being is more important to you than their achievements. Above all, be willing to listen, empathize, and ask how you can help.

Be ready to offer support strategies. 

Burned-out teens often say they feel like life is out of control and there’s no way to stop the stress. Teens are learning how to manage new levels of responsibility and independence, and some of their overwhelm is due to the unfamiliarity of juggling it all. Parents can help by providing support strategies like time management tools and mindfulness and meditation apps, or practices like journaling, yoga, or affirmations. What helps you manage your stress? The same techniques may be useful to your teen.

Teach them how to say “no”. 

To avoid burnout, teens must learn how to make choices about their time and energy, and that means saying “no” sometimes. But, just like adults, teens worry that saying “no” will cost them friendships and opportunities, and they may feel guilty for prioritizing themselves. Help your teen practice evaluating requests before they respond and saying “no” in a way that feels authentic and honest. Make sure they’re well-equipped to set boundaries on their time and energy, so they can prioritize what matters most.

Help them learn to take breaks. 

It sounds simple, but today’s teens rarely get a real break. Digital devices and social media make it so that what passes for downtime often actually raises teens’ stress levels. You can remind them to recharge their batteries with rest and self-care whenever they start to feel drained. For ideas, see our posts on how to help your teen unplug and our favorite mini-meditations. These techniques help your teen manage day-to-day stresses, stay centered, and keep burnout at bay.

Nothing is harder for parents than seeing their child struggle and not knowing how to help. It’s important to remember that while there’s no single solution to stress, parents can do a lot to help teens recognize, reduce, and manage stress so it doesn’t get overwhelming. Here are four research-backed, time-tested stress strategies for teens.

1. Teach teens the difference between stress and anxiety.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, stress is “the physical or mental response to an external cause, such as having a lot of homework or having an illness.” Anxiety is the body’s internal reaction to stress, and it can happen even when there’s no current threat. In other words, stress goes away when the problem is resolved, but anxiety recurs, usually as a “persistent feeling of apprehension or dread that doesn’t go away.” When teens understand the difference between stress and anxiety, they can break down a big feeling of overwhelm into more manageable chunks. Since stress is external it often has an external solution, like getting help from a teacher, adjusting their schedule, or talking to a counselor. Taking concrete steps can help relieve internal anxiety by reducing the external causes of stress.

2. Teach teens to recognize how stress affects them.

Stress impacts teens physically, mentally, emotionally, and socially. Some common physical symptoms include headaches, stomachaches, and more frequent colds or other minor illnesses. Stressed teens may have trouble sleeping, feel more irritable or moody, struggle with learning and concentration, or isolate themselves socially. Negative self-talk and worry are also signs of stress. Parents can help teens understand the link between stress and symptoms like these and address the stress before it gets worse. If you notice a change in your teen’s health or behavior, simply asking, “Do you think this might have something to do with stress?” is a great way to start a conversation about the root cause.

3. Help teens build a strong network of relationships.

Social support equals better mental health for teens. Parents can’t do it all alone, and each trusted relationship in a teen’s life is a potential source of support when they’re dealing with stress. According to Search Institute, the most powerful relationships for teens to cultivate are developmental relationships with adults who express care, challenge teens to grow, provide support, share power and respect, and expand their possibilities. Teens might form developmental relationships with parents, teachers, mentors, coaches, or extended family members. And solid friendships with peers are important, too. One study found that adolescents who spent time with peers after a stressful event were less likely to feel sadness or worry than those who spent time alone.

4. Help teens build a toolkit of coping skills.

The teenage years expose kids to a whole new set of potential stressors, from academic pressures to more complex relationships. When parents help teens develop coping skills for everyday problems, they have a ready-made toolkit to deploy for life’s bigger stresses. You can make managing stress a family project and help your teen figure out what works best for them. A few ideas: see our picks for the best mindfulness and meditation apps for teens, or try these techniques for re-centering with nature. And don’t forget simple practices like keeping a gratitude journal; studies show that experiencing gratitude builds resilience and buffers against depression.

Stress is a part of life, but remember that it’s not always negative. Healthy stress, for example, can motivate teens to study hard for a test or practice until they master a new skill. Stress becomes dangerous when it becomes too much for teens to manage and affects their mental and physical health. These techniques empower teens to recognize, reduce, and manage their stress: a skill that will serve them well for the rest of their lives. 

In Self Compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself, Neff says focusing on self-esteem can backfire because it means constant self-evaluation, and “we can’t always feel special and above average.” If teens get the message that they should always feel great about themselves, they may think they’re falling short and judge themselves even more harshly. Self-compassion means putting a stop to “judging and evaluating ourselves” altogether. Teens who practice self-compassion learn that when they’re having a hard time, they should treat themselves like they would treat a good friend: always welcome and always worthy.

Some parents worry that self-compassion might give kids an excuse to be self-indulgent or not try hard. Research proves otherwise: by letting them know that their value is not dependent upon performance, self-compassion actually helps teens be more comfortable with vulnerability, try new things, and develop empathy. Other benefits include greater happiness and resilience, more life satisfaction and motivation, better relationships and physical health, and less anxiety and depression.

These six strategies can help you and your teen put self-compassion into practice:

1. Before you bring up the topic with your teen, do a self-inventory. For one week, just notice how often you judge or criticize yourself, and be aware of how often your teen sees or hears you. If you’re beating yourself up, you’re sending the message that it’s ok for them to beat themselves up. If you talk negatively about yourself for making a mistake or falling short of a goal, they’re learning to evaluate themselves with the same standards. If you could benefit from a bit more self-compassion too, make it a family project. Talk openly about your efforts and support each other in being more kind, forgiving, and loving to yourselves.

2. Label behaviors and actions, but not your child. Self-compassion means honoring the innate worth of ourselves and others, even when behaviors and actions fall short. Especially when we’re upset, it’s easy to use labels like rude, selfish, or disrespectful as if they define who kids are. When you discipline, label only the behavior you want to call out. Instead of “You’re a liar,” try “I’m disappointed by your choice to lie about where you were on Friday.” Letting them know they are still loved and worthy helps them separate their actions from their identity.

3. Ask “How would you treat a friend in the same situation?” When your teen is self-criticizing or judging, this simple question is foundational in self-compassion research. Because we all tend to be much harder on ourselves than we are on others, it helps to step out of the “I messed up” mindset and reframe the situation with more compassion. Thinking about how they would treat a friend helps teens release feelings of failure and build lasting self-compassion skills.

4. Ask “What do you need right now?” This question is another powerful way to help teens develop self-compassion. When your teen is sad, angry, or upset, try asking them what they need and then give them time and space to consider their response. Resist the urge to jump in with suggestions or try to “fix” things. This helps teens get used to checking in with themselves, honoring their own needs, and asking for support when they need it.

5. Help them notice negative self-talk and change it. The first step is simple awareness: noticing when self-talk gets critical. Then, ask what their more compassionate self would say instead and help them reframe the negative observations in a more positive, self-affirming voice. This practice helps train teens’ brains away from knee-jerk negativity and towards more consistent compassion.

6. Encourage teens to take a self-compassion break. This mindfulness practice from the Greater Good Science Center involves taking a pause to check in with thoughts and feelings and sit with them in a compassionate way. It teaches teens that difficult emotions are temporary and they can let them move through their minds and bodies instead of getting stuck. It also helps them reflect on challenging situations and put self-compassion strategies into practice. It’s a win for them and for you, too.

Additional Sources:

https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Helping-Teenagers-With-Stress-066.aspx

https://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/Marshall2019.pdf

https://www.mindful.org/the-transformative-effects-of-mindful-self-compassion/

Researchers attribute rising teen stress levels to the same factors that drive adult stress, including unrealistic expectations and unrelenting pressure to succeed. Between homework, extracurricular activities, jobs, friends, and family, teens’ schedules are often just as packed as those of their parents.

One stress strategy that’s often overlooked for teens is simply… simplifying. With these six ideas, parents can help teens stress less, find fulfillment, and embrace the idea that sometimes, less is more.

1. Know what matters most. Simplifying our lives is about making more room for the things that are important to us and letting go of the things that aren\’t. To do that, we have to know what we value and what gives our lives meaning. Talking with your teen about what is important to them – and to the whole family – is a foundational step in helping them figure out what to keep and what to let go. These talks don’t have to be super-serious. Questions like, “If you could only choose one ____ or ____, what would you pick?” are light-hearted openers that invite deeper conversations. Teens are more likely to embrace simplification if you keep the emphasis on fun and fulfillment.

2. Create morning and evening routines. Stress thrives on chaos. One of the first places to simplify is the times that tend to get chaotic for busy families: the start and end of each day. Planning an advance-prep evening routine makes mornings go more smoothly. Teens can get in the habit of choosing clothes or putting lunch together so they don’t have to think about it when they’re rushing to get ready. Other ideas for routines include creating a bathroom schedule and weekly menu, setting up a family charging station, synchronizing transportation, and leaving gym bags, instrument cases, and backpacks packed and by the door.

3. Clear the clutter. When teens can’t find their homework or favorite hoodie because their room is always a disaster, it’s time for a clutter clean-out. Clutter makes it hard for teens to think clearly, focus, and accomplish tasks. Instead of targeting only your teen’s space, make it a whole-house project. Take turns picking music to make it fun. Label bags or bins for items to keep, toss, or donate, and let your teen choose a favorite charity to receive donated items. Once the clutter is cleared, consider an organization upgrade. Tons of colorful, fun organization options are available for teens, from rolling carts to desktop organizers to technology docking stations.

4. Reduce choices. We all feel overwhelmed when we have too many options to choose from (as any shopper staring at a wall of toothpaste or toilet paper will tell you). But it\’s developmentally important for teens to have choices, along with the increased autonomy and responsibility of making them. Parents can strike a balance by filtering their teen’s options. For example, “We have the bandwidth for you to do two extracurriculars this year; which two are you really excited about?” or “We can have eggs or smoothies for breakfast; your choice.” Teens can always speak up if they want something that’s not offered, but often they’re happy to have some of the pressure to decide taken off their plate.

5. Teach your teen to say ‘no.’ It sounds simple, but saying ‘no’ can be tough for teens. Reasons include fear of conflict, confrontation, disappointing others, or classic FOMO. But teens need to learn how to set healthy boundaries for themselves, and that means getting comfortable saying ‘no’ sometimes. Teach teens to stop and check in with themselves before automatically agreeing to a new invitation or activity. Does it feel fun, interesting, or important? Does it conflict with a previous commitment? Is there something they would rather be doing? Are they feeling any pressure from themselves or others? Helping them access their internal compass makes it easier for them to say no when they need to.

6. Create a family downtime ritual. As always, parents must model the behavior they want kids to embrace. One way to make simplicity more meaningful is to schedule consistent family time – maybe every Thursday night or Sunday afternoon – and intentionally dial down the intensity. Play board games, watch a movie, or make dinner together, but keep it relaxed and low-key. You might agree to silence your cell phones or turn off notifications and just focus on enjoying each other’s company. This lets your teen know that no matter how busy life gets, some things are sacred, and choosing to do and have a little less gives us a lot more of what matters most.

Simplifying can feel like a radical way to parent because we live in a culture in which “busyness” is a badge of success. But, the rising numbers of teens navigating stress and mental health challenges affirm that opportunities to help your teen simplify and focus are far more likely to assure their success. 

We recommend starting small with strategies that target the source of their stress. Over time, implementing one or two of these mini-meditations can help your teen learn how to be positive and proactive when it comes to managing stress.

If your teen struggles with anxiety, try box breathing.

Picture a square box. Inhale to a count of four as you trace one of the sides of the box in your mind’s eye. Follow the line of the box as you exhale to a count of four. Inhale… and exhale… each time, matching the rhythm of your breath to four counts. Set a timer and practice box breathing for at least one minute, or longer if it helps.

Paying attention to your breathing is Mindfulness 101. Adding the four-count rhythm and focusing on the box helps your teen create a “safe container” for their attention, so they can regain control of their runaway thoughts. And their slow, controlled breathing deactivates the sympathetic nervous system’s “fight or flight” response, which signals the body to breathe shallowly and increase heart rate. Box breathing basically hacks the nervous system, with a reassuring “Relax, I’ve got this.”

We recommend box breathing for any form of anxiety. It’s super-supportive for teens to get calm and focused before a test, performance, game, or other high-intensity events.

If your teen struggles with self-esteem, try self-compassion.

Is there an area of your life where you could be kinder to yourself? Think about the feelings that come up when you judge yourself and follow the steps below. Allow 3-5 minutes. (Based on the work of Karen Bluth, Ph.D. as part of the Mindful Self-Compassion for Teens course from the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion):

1. Feel your feelings, including your emotions and physical sensations. Just notice what it’s like right now – let go of judging yourself. Say, “Right now, I’m struggling,” or “Right now, this is hard,” or, “This sucks,” or whatever feels right to acknowledge your feelings.

2. Now remember that you’re a human being, and all human beings struggle and suffer sometimes. It’s tough to go through something hard, but it also means that you’re connected to others who have been there, too. Acknowledge that: “This is normal,” or “I’m not alone in this,” or “Other people feel this way, too.”

3. Now think about what you would say to a good friend who was going through the same thing. Be that friend for yourself. Place one or both hands on your heart. Say, “May I be kind to myself,” or “I accept and love myself just as I am,” or whatever you need to hear to feel supported.

4. Sit for a moment with the feeling of being connected to others and to yourself, and having compassion for whatever it is you’re going through. Breathe the feeling of compassion through your body and mind, and notice what changes in your emotions and physical body when you do.

According to the Berkeley-based Greater Good Science Center, “As their cognitive capabilities grow… teens become more self-aware and, ultimately, more self-conscious. This can breed harsh self-criticism, so the need for self-compassion among teens is crucial.” Self-compassion is great for any source of stress, but it’s especially helpful for teens who have a tendency to be hard on themselves, or who have been bullied or picked on by peers. Teens who practice self-compassion report less depression and more feelings of resilience and gratitude – a huge boost in well-being from this one simple strategy.

If your teen struggles with attention and focus, try moving meditation.

The magic of mindfulness means you can practice any time, doing anything! Meditation doesn’t have to mean sitting still. High-energy teens can still reap the benefits of moving mediation.

Pick an activity you like to do – it could be running, biking, yoga, dance, or something that’s part of a sport you play, like dribbling a basketball or kicking a soccer ball. The best activities are rhythmic, so you can match your movement to your breath. Try doing that activity while paying attention to your breathing. If you notice your mind starting to wander, just bring it back to your breath. While you’re breathing, check in with how your body feels. See if you can make the rhythm of your body match the rhythm of your breath. Do this for 3-5 minutes – longer if it feels good.

Like box breathing, moving meditation gives teens a point of focus and clears away distracting thoughts. Mindful movement keeps the body and brain engaged together, and teaches kids to direct their focus and channel their energy. This is a super-strategy for high-energy, focus-challenged kids, empowering them with self-awareness and self-control.

Whatever the practice, even small doses of mindfulness are proven to help teens reduce their stress and anxiety and increase attention, concentration, self-esteem, and empathy. Once you and your teen are clear about the source of their stress, you can team up to target it. Mindfulness is not one-size-fits-all, so there are a million ways to practice. That means there’s a mediation out there that’s perfect for your one-of-a-kind kid.