One research-backed strategy is to increase tweens’ and teens’ sense of connection to others. Multiple studies show that strong networks of family and social support provide a buffer against adolescent stress, anxiety and pressure, and protect mental health well into adulthood. Here’s how connection helps tweens and teens manage stress, deal with anxiety, and overcome pressure:

1. Connection supports tweens and teens when their brains are more vulnerable to stress.

One likely factor contributing to high levels of teen stress is that the adolescent brain is still developing. The prefrontal cortex– responsible for reasoning, planning and emotional regulation– isn’t fully developed until the mid-to-late 20s. This means teens process stress differently than adults and are more vulnerable to stress-related illnesses like anxiety and depression. Studies show that having close, trusting relationships with others increases resilience to stress. Connections with family, friends, teachers, and others help teens feel secure, process stressful situations and put things in perspective.

2. Connection creates stability and predictability when tweens and teens need it most.

According to developmental psychologist Diana Divecha, parents and caregivers can increase adolescents’ sense of connection through their parenting style and overall family climate. “Authoritative parenting balances warmth and love with clear expectations and the support to meet those expectations… Of all parenting styles, authoritative parenting is the most predictive of positive outcomes for children and teens.” Divecha says it’s also helpful to emphasize “a positive climate that creates a background sense of well-being, joyful ways of staying connected, and regular routines and rituals. In other words, a thriving family life is nourishing, provides a buffer, and supports resilience.”

3. Connections with peers help process everyday stress.

While the stability provided by parents and families is key to helping tweens and teens manage stress, relationships with peers are also critical. One recent study of youth between the ages of 13-16 found that they coped better after day-to-day stressful events, like failing a test, when they were with peers rather than adults. According to the researchers, “Being among peers during times of stress… offers adolescents an open, supportive and rewarding space which may help dampen the emotional turbulence that adolescence can bring.” In other words, tweens and teens need different kinds of relationships to provide different levels of support.

4. Connection builds emotional intelligence.

Diana Divecha says that when it comes to dealing with stress, “Every teen will benefit from a) the ability to be aware of their feelings and b) having strategies for regulation.” Emotional intelligence, or EQ, includes self- and other-awareness: the ability to understand, regulate and express one’s own emotions and to navigate relationships with empathy. To develop their EQ, tweens and teens need connections with others. Healthy relationships let them know their emotions and experiences matter to others, and teach them how to be considerate, compromise and resolve conflict. Not surprisingly, adolescents with a high EQ tend to be emotionally resilient. They’re “happier, more self-confident, and more respectful of others” and also do better in school.

Lucero was built to nurture connection. It’s a safe space for tweens and teens to be themselves, learn emotional regulation skills and connect with people who care about them. They can captain a Crew by inviting up to seven friends and family members to join them on their self-care journey. Crew members cheer each other on, support each other on the hard days and always apologize if their actions or words hurt someone’s feelings. Lucero sparks meaningful conversations, strengthens relationships and cultivates meaningful connection for tweens, teens and the adults who care about them.

1. Problem-solving Skills

How do you read a subway map? Communicate in a language you’ve only practiced on Duolingo? Do laundry while backpacking? By exposing teens to unfamiliar situations, travel stretches their cognitive flexibility. The right kind of travel provides some support and supervision – like an itinerary and a local host – but also gives teens independence to explore and figure a few things out for themselves. Troubleshooting and navigating unfamiliar circumstances builds confidence and creativity. Lots of parents report that teens return from trips suddenly seeming more mature, responsible and capable: definitely a win-win.

2. Executive Functioning Skills

During the teen years, the brain undergoes explosive growth in the executive neural network. The skills governed by this area include planning, organization, time management, focus, and self-regulation of emotions and impulses. While teens vary in the pace of development, carefully tailored travel experiences can boost these critical skills. If your teen wants to travel, take advantage of their motivation and involve them in planning the trip. Decide on tasks they can be responsible for, like creating a packing list or day trip itinerary. Fundraising and saving money for a trip also develops their executive functioning skills.

3. Resilience & Self-Confidence

According to Merriam-Webster, resilience is an ability to recover from or adjust easily to change. Researchers at the University of Melbourne say that teen resilience comes from a combination of social skills, optimism, purpose, an attachment to family and learning, problem-solving and coping skills, and a positive self-image. Travel allows teens to uplevel each of these skill sets as they learn to adapt to change. To help your teen cultivate resilience, plan a trip that keeps them safe but takes them a little out of their comfort zone. Encourage them to stretch themselves and take on slightly scary experiences, even if it’s just a week without Wi-Fi. After a little discomfort, they’ll quickly discover just how much they are capable of.

4. Empathy & Cultural Awareness

Travel opens up the world, exposing teens to worldviews and ways of life that are different from the ones they grew up in. When traveling, teens from privileged backgrounds may feel more gratitude for their blessings, and teens with a background of struggle can reach beyond their everyday reality. Meaningful interactions with people who experience the world differently build empathy and give teens first-hand appreciation for diversity. Look for trips that emphasize relationship-building and volunteering, like service-learning projects or cultural exchange programs, and make sure your teen has time to spend time with locals in addition to seeing the sights.

5. Purpose

According to Anthony L. Burrow of Cornell University, “purpose is a forward-looking directionality, an intention to do something in the world.” It’s a major predictor of long-term health and happiness for teens. “We are confronted with the ups and downs of life, but purpose is an active ingredient that helps us stay stable,” says Burrow. Travel helps teens develop a sense of purpose by sparking their curiosity and passion and showing them how they can make a difference. Transformative travel experiences often provide direction and shape teens’ lives in profound ways. To help your teen find a sense of purpose in travel, make sure their trip allows them to explore something meaningful, like their heritage, a career they’re interested in, or a cause they’re passionate about. And when they get back home, support them in taking what they’ve learned to the next level.

1. Lead with empathy.

Sometimes teenage disappointments seem small from the perspective of a parent, and sometimes we see their mistakes coming from a mile away. But if parents dismiss or minimize teens’ feelings, they’re likely to internalize emotions instead of talking to you when things are hard. No matter what your teen is going through or how you feel about it, lead with empathy. If it’s hard not to say, “I told you so,” remind yourself that your teen doesn\’t have as much life experience as you do. Ask yourself how you would feel if you were their age and in their shoes, acknowledge their feelings, and express love and concern.

2. Hold space for their feelings. 

Disappointments often bring an incredibly complex mix of emotions. Let’s say your teen tries out for a team but doesn’t make the cut. Their disappointment may include shame about their performance, grief from losing hope for a goal they cared about, and fear about how not being on the team will affect their friendships with those who did make it. Your teen may not want or be able to articulate all those aspects, but you can still hold space for them to work through whatever they are feeling and let them know you understand that their disappointment has lots of layers.

3. Ask them what kind of support they need. 

Some teens need space to process their emotions while others want to talk it out. Some want downtime and others prefer to stay busy. Sometimes a parent’s perspective is welcome, and other times a warm hug without words might be best. Empower your teen by asking how you can best provide support. A simple, “What can I do that would make you feel most supported right now?” helps teens think about and speak up for their own needs: a powerful first step in healing their hurt feelings.

4. Affirm their worth and abilities.

Disappointments almost always involve some kind of perceived failure. They can cause teens’ self-esteem to take a hit and scramble their sense of identity: If that didn’t work out, what does it mean about who I am? It may seem obvious to you, but teens sometimes need reminders that their worth is not based on their achievements, popularity, or any external factor. Disappointments also provide an opportunity to tell them all the things you and others appreciate about them, strengthening your teen’s evolving identity. Your unconditional love provides a template for teens knowing how to love themselves even when things fall short of their expectations.

5. Give them a comprehensive coping toolkit. 

Disappointed teens can get drawn into spirals of negative thinking, and negative thoughts feed negative emotions. When they can’t break that cycle, they may be more vulnerable to depression, anxiety and self-criticism. Prepare your teen with tools like affirmations, self-compassion, and these stress strategies. Whenever they’re stuck in negativity, your teen can try techniques from mindful breathing to positive self-talk to practicing self-acceptance. This builds self-efficacy and lets teens know they are capable of self-care.

6. Help them use setbacks to fuel growth. 

It’s never fun to encounter disappointment, but hard things help us grow more than times when everything goes our way. Give your teen the gift of a growth mindset by sharing stories of your own setbacks and mistakes, what you learned, and how you moved forward. Praise them for persistence, effort, bravery and resilience. As Winston Churchill famously said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” Disappointments give teens an opportunity to get clear about their values and identity, refocus their energy, and aim for goals that make their lives meaningful.

There\’s no one-size-fits-all answer to this problem, but caregivers can help by teaching teens how to build healthy habits. Whatever the cause of their stress, tweens and teens who take just a few minutes each day to practice supportive habits feel more in control, reduce their anxiety, and boost executive functioning skills so they handle stress more effectively. Here’s how healthy habits help teens manage stress and anxiety:

1. They focus on solutions, not problems.

Just like adults, teens who are overwhelmed fixate on negative thoughts and imagine worst-case scenarios. But the teenage brain is still developing, so it processes information differently. The prefrontal cortex –the part of the brain responsible for reasoning, planning and logic– isn’t fully developed until about age 25. Until then, adolescents rely more on the emotion- and impulse-driven limbic brain to make decisions. That means they’re more likely to get trapped in a downward spiral of emotional upset. Healthy habits teach teens to focus on the solution to a problem rather than the problem itself. Instead of getting stuck in negativity, they learn to ask, “What can I do that will help me out of this situation?”

2. They gain a toolkit of positive practices.

Healthy habits can be viewed as foundational coping skills, regardless of age or stage of life. They help us stay strong –no matter what stress we’re facing– by supporting our mental, physical and emotional well-being. The teen years introduce more complex emotions, relationships and responsibilities, so the more positive practices teens learn, the better. And because the teenage brain is still developing, anchoring in healthy habits now makes them more likely to become lifelong. Habits to focus on include positive practices around sleep, diet, exercise, self-care, connection to others and more. Each gives teens a more complete set of tools so they feel in control and capable of handling any source of stress.

3. They provide structure.

A recent study from the University of Georgia found that teens with regular mealtimes, bedtimes and after school schedules “reported less alcohol use, greater self-control and emotional well-being and higher rates of college enrollment in young adulthood.” Consistent routines also correlated with lower levels of the stress hormone epinephrine. Healthy habits provide stability as teens experience the seismic neurological, psychological, social and emotional changes of adolescence. A foundation of well-being equips teens to learn, grow and handle change without succumbing to anxiety.

4. They build resilience. 

Resilience comes from the Latin resilio, meaning “to jump” or “to bounce back.” Stress is inevitable, but teens can practice bouncing back from challenges and find opportunities for growth. When teens experience upset, healthy habits provide a foundation to fall back on: When I feel overwhelmed by my emotions, I know I need to take a break to just breathe and check in with myself. “When we are resilient, we not only adapt ourselves to stress and disappointments, we also grow the insight to avoid actions that might lead us to face such situations,” says writer Maduleena Chowdhury. Resilience leads to self-awareness, and the more self-aware teens are, the more easily they adapt to stress.

To give your teen the benefit of stress-busting healthy habits, download Lucero. It’s a gamified wellness app that builds emotional regulation skills and self-care habits in just a few minutes a day. Lucero is the most fun and engaging way for teens to gain healthy habits with bite-sized content co-created by experts and tweens and teens themselves.

1. Know what SAD is… and isn’t.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, SAD is “characterized by persistent fear of one or more social or performance situations in which the person is exposed to unfamiliar people or to possible scrutiny by others.”

Symptoms of social anxiety include:

• Worrying about being judged negatively or humiliated
• Intense fear of interacting with strangers
• Avoidance of social events or talking to people
• Self-evaluation and self-criticism during and after social situations
• Worrying for days or weeks before an event
• Sweating, trembling, blushing, and/or rapid heart beat in social situations
• Stomach aches, nausea, muscle tension or disrupted sleep

Social Anxiety Disorder is not the same as being introverted or shy or preferring a small group of friends. The key is to recognize when symptoms become unmanageable, stopping your teen from having a fulfilling social life or doing things they really want to do. When teens avoid every anxiety-provoking situation, they miss opportunities to learn social skills and build confidence, thus fulfilling their fears of embarrassment.

2. Let them know they’re not alone.

Teens with social anxiety feel overwhelmingly self-conscious and like they’re the only ones with a problem. Talking honestly about social anxiety helps them normalize their feelings, understand that everyone experiences some anxiety in social situations and create more self-acceptance and self-compassion. Talk with your teen about your own experiences and be willing to listen. And for more persistent problems, look for a therapist-led teen support group that targets social anxiety.

3. Teach them how to breathe. 

Researchers agree that one of the most effective strategies for managing anxiety is mindful breathing. A simple exercise that’s easy to teach teens is box breathing: exhaling to a count of four, pausing for a count of four, inhaling to a count of four, and holding air in the lungs for a count of four, then repeating. Teens can also visualize tracing the sides of a square box or a big balloon inflating and deflating as they breathe. This and other breathing techniques activate the parasympathetic nervous system and counteract the body’s stress response, which is responsible for shallow breathing, fast heartbeat and other physical signs of anxiety.

4. Help them uplevel their self-talk.

Teens with social anxiety may not even notice the steady stream of self-judgment and self-criticism they’re likely engaging in,for example, thoughts like, “You’re so stupid! Everybody is laughing at you! You’re going to screw up again!” But most social anxiety is accompanied and made worse by negative self-talk. You can help your teen become aware of the voice inside their head and realize that they can decide whether or not to believe the self-defeating thoughts. Teach your teen how to acknowledge their fears and counteract them with positive self-talk: “Yes, I’m really nervous right now, but I’ve been practicing and I know I’ve got this.” For more suggestions, see our post on Turning Negative Self-talk Into Confidence.

5. Support them in facing their fears at their own pace.

Perhaps the most heartbreaking aspect of social anxiety is that teens’ phantom fears have a very real impact by keeping them from being and doing all the great things they’re capable of. Most anxious teens are painfully aware that they’re missing out, but facing their fears all at once feels too overwhelming. Instead, help your teen set realistic social goals – like making a new friend or joining a club at school – based on what matters most to them. Then identify micro-goals they can accomplish step-by-step. Make sure they’re equipped with strategies for self-compassion, remind them that practice makes perfect, and celebrate their successes with them. With the right mix of acceptance and persistence, teens can tackle social anxiety and emerge as confident, capable young adults.

Teen mental health experts say the data points to multiple problems upstream, including shame and stigma surrounding mental health, a crisis-centered, overburdened care system, and a lack of preventative resources. By looking at what’s missing, we can begin to create solutions to the teen mental health crisis, including:

• giving teens and families the skills, language, and tools to talk about mental health and wellness
• building a more proactive, preventative model of care
• meeting teens where they are and making wellness easy and accessible
• focusing on daily habits for mental and emotional well-being

That’s where Lucero comes in. Lucero is a youth-driven, gamified approach to wellness and self-care. We asked teens, “If you had a magic app to solve the problems you face, what would it do?” Then, led by a team of trauma-informed therapists, we built the safe space they asked for. Lucero includes multiple layers of support, including

• Journey: 84+ fun and engaging daily micro-lessons on topics like confidence and self-awareness
• Spark: 600+ self-care ideas designed for 30 different emotions
• Sanctuary: A place where teens can celebrate themselves by evolving their avatars and earning badges
• Crew: Meaningful connection with up to 7 framily members (friends and family who radically support each other)

Our research-backed philosophy is that small daily acts of self-discovery and self-care add up to big changes in the brain, and that makes teens’ mental health more resilient. Instead of waiting for a crisis, Lucero is all about building habits to support long-term wellness in mind, body and spirit. It increases emotional regulation skills through self-awareness, confidence and mindfulness and makes hard topics fun, engaging and bite-sized.

First and foremost, Lucero gives teens a safe space to just be themselves. In just a few minutes a day, they can gain tools to build confidence, deal with difficult emotions, and stay connected to others who radically support them. Lucero also helps parents and pros stay connected to tweens and teens.

Why now? Because when we look at those sobering statistics, we know that every single number is a tween or teen who can thrive with the right tools and support. Because we know that real solutions have to be youth-driven, supported by science and accessible to everyone. And most of all, because teens are telling us it’s time. So let’s do this.

1. 1. Let them make mistakes. Knowing when to step back and (gulp!) let your teen fail is one of parenting’s hardest lessons. Sounds radical, but confident kids aren’t afraid to make mistakes. Teens need to practice solving their own problems and figuring out what to do when things don’t go their way. Getting comfortable with failure is a key component of a growth mindset and boosts self-confidence.
   2. Stay on call. Confident teens take responsibility for themselves, but they also know when to call for backup. The teenage brain is a work in progress, and a parent’s perspective helps them make sense of the struggles they encounter. Knowing there’s a safety net of unconditional love and support makes all the difference when teens step outside their comfort zones
   3. Strengthen their sense of belonging. Support from parents matters most, but teens need extended family, friends, mentors, and community, too. The more people who care about and are invested in your teen, the better. Different kinds of supportive relationships give teens multiple experiences of mattering to others, and that sense of belonging helps them feel confident.
   4. Help them learn new things. Gaining skills and knowledge boosts kids’ confidence, too. The teenage brain is wired for explosive growth, seeking novelty, challenges, and new experiences. Parents can help by providing diverse opportunities for learning and growth. Everything from educational apps to volunteering together to subject-specific summer camps can spark your teen’s curiosity and develop their confidence.
   5. Ask for their advice. Let your teen know that you respect them and value their opinion. When you’re facing a tough decision or solving a problem, talk to them about it and ask what they would do in your place. Teens are used to being on the receiving end of a lot of advice. Asking for their perspective validates their maturity and helps them feel confident stepping into a more grown-up role.
   6. Practice scary scenarios. Whether they’re facing a difficult conversation with a friend, a big speech at school, or some other event that tests their confidence, practice empowers teens to show up as the best version of themselves. You can offer to role-play the situation or talk through different possible responses or outcomes. Nothing builds confidence like having been there before.
   7. Take on challenges together. Confidence comes from achieving goals and learning how to handle setbacks and failure. Taking on challenges together as a family can empower teens to tackle their own individual aims. Run a 5K, build a treehouse, or download a self-care app together– any challenge works as long as everybody is equally invested in success.
   8. Watch for their sensitive spots. Teens are painfully aware that everything from their appearance to their abilities and achievements is under constant scrutiny from peers. Most teens are confident in some areas but not so much in others. Parents can help teens make sure these sensitive spots don’t override their overall confidence. Help them practice self-compassion, embrace their uniqueness, play up their skills and positive qualities, and surround themselves with people who love them just as they are.
   9. Protect against perfectionism. Perfectionism in teens is a big confidence-killer. High-achieving teens can get discouraged when their efforts fall short of their ideals, like the athlete driven by body dysmorphia or the honor roll student overwhelmed by anxiety because they’re not ranked top of their class. Help your teen value growth, learning, fun, and friendship over perfect scores, and remind them that their worth can’t be measured by numbers. Confident teens take pride in their achievements but don’t let those achievements define them.
   10. Model and praise courage. It’s been said that confidence is a feeling, while courage is a choice. We can’t always feel confident, but we can still choose to act with courage. When you let your teen see you being brave, you’re showing them how to face their fears, too. And when you praise their courageous acts, it validates them for taking the risk to grow. Confidence may not be necessary to act courageously, but courage always builds confidence.