Because tweens and teens are especially vulnerable to the effects of loneliness and isolation, parents and caregivers need to know what’s causing the epidemic, how to recognize signs and symptoms, and what to do to help adolescents thrive through meaningful connection to others.

Why does loneliness matter for tweens and teens?

The Surgeon General’s advisory presents evidence that a lack of social connection is literally life-threatening. Loneliness and isolation increase the risk for premature death by 26% and 29% respectively. They increase the risk for premature death as much as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and are associated with a 29% increased risk of heart disease, a 32% increased risk of stroke, and increased risk of depression, anxiety and suicide. Tweens and teens suffering from loneliness are of special concern because belonging and connection are foundational to their identity, self-esteem, and lifelong achievement. Furthermore, having supportive relationships is frequently cited as the most significant contributor to adolescent mental health and overall well-being.

What’s causing loneliness to increase?

The causes of the loneliness epidemic are complex. The COVID-19 pandemic accelerated many contributing factors, but research shows that these patterns have been in place for years and even decades. The Surgeon General’s report notes that among 15-24 year olds, “time spent in-person with friends has reduced by nearly 70% over almost two decades, from roughly 150 minutes per day in 2003 to 40 minutes per day in 2020.” Other trends include historically low levels of trust and community involvement, increasing levels of social isolation, and increased use of digital devices and social media over in-person connection.

What are the signs and symptoms of loneliness?

Loneliness isn’t always easy to identify. Like adults, adolescents often attribute their negative feelings to other problems, and sometimes suffer from loneliness even when they have a busy schedule and social life. Symptoms can include:

• Feeling anxious, sad or depressed
• Appearing withdrawn or moody
• Changes in sleep or appetite
• Low self-esteem and self-doubt
• Increased social media use
• Increased aggression, anger or risky behavior
• Persistent feelings of hopelessness; suicidal thoughts

How to help:

The statistics are scary, but these steps can help tweens and teens stay connected to others and break patterns that lead to loneliness:

• Learn emotional regulation skills. Practice “naming and claiming” feelings. Learn strategies to manage difficult emotions. Know when to reach out for help. Lucero, for instance, offers a gamified, bite-sized approach to self-care that supports emotional regulation and nurtures real-world relationships.
• Cultivate IRL community. A framily is any combination of youth and adults who radically support each other. Tweens and teens benefit from a network of relationships of all kinds, including family, friends, mentors, teachers, and community members. Peers and elders provide different kinds of supportive relationships, and in-person connections are best for learning critical social skills and establishing a steady source of support.
• Reach out to others. It’s normal to look for connection online, so tweens and teens may need encouragement to take the risk and step outside their comfort zone. School and community clubs, team sports, volunteering, and after-school or summer jobs are all ways adolescents can overcome isolation, find meaningful relationships and be proactive about growing their support system.

• Trauma Stress

Teens are more vulnerable to stress because of brain changes that take place during adolescence. A study published in the journal Neuroscience found that exposure to stress in the teen years is linked to increased likelihood of anxiety, depression and other mental health disorders, and the effects can last well into adulthood. Researchers think that’s because stress changes how the limbic and cortical regions of teens’ brains develop. Intense stress in adolescence may have a more lasting effect on mental health than stress experienced in adulthood, and teens may need more support getting back to their baseline.

• Broken Connections

A sense of belonging and connection is crucial during the teen years, so school closures, isolation and everyday disruptions to their social lives have had a lasting impact on teens’ mental health. \”They\’ve been cut off from their peers, which is critical for youth to develop that sense of identity, which this stage is really all about,\” says Sandra DeJong, MD, MSc, a child-and-adolescent psychiatrist. The impact of broken connections is felt in different ways: Teens may worry about their safety or the safety of family members, fear future threats to their friendships, or experience increased loneliness or social anxiety. 

• Limits on Their Identity

The teen years are when young people start to craft their identity by figuring out their values, interests and the qualities that make them who they are. Almost everything teens do becomes part of that exploration, from school and friendships to hobbies and after-school jobs. Milestones are also important for identity-formation because they validate teens as they take steps toward adulthood. The pandemic made it harder for teens to explore who they are by turning everyday life upside down and taking away events like graduations, team sports and other extracurricular activities. When teens grieve these losses, they feel they’ve missed out on a piece of who they were meant to become.

How to Help

While there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to dealing with long-term effects of the pandemic, these four steps offer strategic support for teens’ mental health:

1. Acknowledge when your teen is struggling. Let them know it’s not their fault and they are not alone. Teens went through a major global crisis when their brains were developmentally vulnerable, and they don’t have adult-level perspectives or coping skills yet. It’s totally normal for them to feel lasting effects and to need help addressing them.
2. Normalize talking about mental health and seeking support. Make sure neither you nor your teen feel like you have to fix things alone. Whether they’re dealing with anxiety, depression, grief or other pandemic-related stresses, a teen-focused licensed therapist can give your teen tools to understand their emotions and work towards realistic goals for well-being.
3. Make self-care a priority. According to the Mt. Sinai Adolescent Health Center, “Self-care refers to intentionally engaging in practices and activities that reduce stress.” It looks different for everybody, but here’s a hint: hours spent scrolling on social media or playing video games are not self-care. Instead, think about mindful breathing, moving your body, being creative, having in-person fun with friends and family, and anything else that helps your teen stay grounded.
4. Help them see their resilience. While we acknowledge the impact of the pandemic, let’s also celebrate teens for being resilient. Surviving hard things teaches us how to be tough, capable and compassionate. By overcoming challenges, we learn how to solve problems and realize what really matters. Remind your teen that even if they’re still struggling, they are also strong. Point out how much they’ve learned and all the positive ways their experiences have shaped who they’re becoming. Resilience helps teens cultivate hope and look forward to a brighter future.

Teen mental health experts say the data points to multiple problems upstream, including shame and stigma surrounding mental health, a crisis-centered, overburdened care system, and a lack of preventative resources. By looking at what’s missing, we can begin to create solutions to the teen mental health crisis, including:

• giving teens and families the skills, language, and tools to talk about mental health and wellness
• building a more proactive, preventative model of care
• meeting teens where they are and making wellness easy and accessible
• focusing on daily habits for mental and emotional well-being

That’s where Lucero comes in. Lucero is a youth-driven, gamified approach to wellness and self-care. We asked teens, “If you had a magic app to solve the problems you face, what would it do?” Then, led by a team of trauma-informed therapists, we built the safe space they asked for. Lucero includes multiple layers of support, including

• Journey: 84+ fun and engaging daily micro-lessons on topics like confidence and self-awareness
• Spark: 600+ self-care ideas designed for 30 different emotions
• Sanctuary: A place where teens can celebrate themselves by evolving their avatars and earning badges
• Crew: Meaningful connection with up to 7 framily members (friends and family who radically support each other)

Our research-backed philosophy is that small daily acts of self-discovery and self-care add up to big changes in the brain, and that makes teens’ mental health more resilient. Instead of waiting for a crisis, Lucero is all about building habits to support long-term wellness in mind, body and spirit. It increases emotional regulation skills through self-awareness, confidence and mindfulness and makes hard topics fun, engaging and bite-sized.

First and foremost, Lucero gives teens a safe space to just be themselves. In just a few minutes a day, they can gain tools to build confidence, deal with difficult emotions, and stay connected to others who radically support them. Lucero also helps parents and pros stay connected to tweens and teens.

Why now? Because when we look at those sobering statistics, we know that every single number is a tween or teen who can thrive with the right tools and support. Because we know that real solutions have to be youth-driven, supported by science and accessible to everyone. And most of all, because teens are telling us it’s time. So let’s do this.

Myth # 1: It’s all bad news.

While negative trends get most of the attention, it’s important to know there is also good news about teens’ well-being. Remembering that helps parents put things in perspective and focus on the actual potential problems their teen may be facing. According to Candice Odgers, a psychologist at the University of California, Irvine, “Young people are more educated; less likely to get pregnant, use drugs; less likely to die of accident or injury. By many markers, kids are doing fantastic and thriving. But… these really important trends in anxiety, depression and suicide that stop us in our tracks.”

Myth # 2: It’s just a phase.

Occasional sadness, worry and moodiness are normal for teens, but parents shouldn’t dismiss ongoing symptoms as something their teen will grow out of. In fact, periods of depression, anxiety or other mood disorders can disrupt teens’ development, causing them to miss out on important milestones and leading to lasting harmful behaviors and habits. For depression to be diagnosed, individuals must have symptoms for at least two weeks. If you or your teen are in doubt about whether they need help, reach out to a licensed mental health professional. Getting treatment early helps teens prioritize healthy habits and gain tools to stay stable.

Myth # 3: Kids these days have nothing to feel bad about. 

It’s true that many of today’s teens have more material abundance and often fewer responsibilities than previous generations, but they also face unprecedented challenges. On average, teens now reach puberty a year or two younger than their parents did, leading to physical, neurological and social stress. They experience more pressure to perform in academics and extracurricular activities, while college has become exponentially more expensive and less of a sure path to success. They deal with the nonstop challenges of social media and digital devices and have higher rates of anxiety about gun violence, climate change and other important issues. In short, being a teenager today really can be tough.

Myth #4: It’s all because of social media.

It’s common for adults who grew up before the era of Instagram and TikTok to blame social media for the decline in teen mental health, but researchers say it’s not that simple. Rising rates of teen depression, anxiety and self-harm do correlate with the rise in social media and increased use of digital devices. But these technologies aren’t inherently evil, and they often help teens find connection and support that’s lacking in their off-line lives. Recent research suggests the problem may be more about what teens are missing out on when they overindulge in screen time, like sleep, time in nature, and in-person connection with caregivers, friends and family.

Myth #5: Poor parenting is to blame. 

Lots of parents whose teens experience depression or other disorders ask, “What did I do wrong?” The truth is that many teens with mental health conditions have supportive and engaged parents. Remember that these disorders are biologically-based illnesses that can be triggered by environmental factors, but environmental factors aren’t necessarily or solely to blame. And remember that teens are developmentally wired to push back against their parents so, even if they blame you for their feelings, it may have nothing to do with you. Don’t take it personally, but DO do everything you can to get a licensed professional on board to help.

Why is routine so important for teens? Adolescence brings with it intense physical, emotional, and social change. When so much of a teen’s life is in flux, the predictability of everyday routines is grounding. As the study’s lead author Allen Barton says, “We often lose sight of the mundane aspects of life, but if we can get control of the… everyday parts of life, then I think we can have a major impact on some bigger things.” The benefits of routine include:

• Enhanced closeness and bonding: Consistent routines send the message that you’re there for your teen and they can trust and count on you.
• Physical well-being: Regular bedtimes help set your teen’s body clock so they know when it’s time to go to sleep and wake up. Similarly, regular mealtimes help teens stay on track with healthier habits.
• Increased responsibility: When teens’ chores are scheduled and expectations are clear and consistent, they learn to keep commitments and care for others.
• Executive skills: Predictable routines help teens learn valuable lifelong skills like time management, organization, self-monitoring and self-control.

You may be asking, How can we get started with more stable routines… especially if my teen is already used to less structure? Parenting experts agree you should start small and involve teens in planning. Create one new routine at a time and begin with something that feels fun and rewarding, like a monthly game night or weekly dinner at home with the whole family. Ask your teen to help you brainstorm how to make your existing everyday routines more enjoyable and efficient, or create new rituals and traditions. This approach helps teens buy into routines as beneficial rather than seeing them as limiting.

Know that some teens like and need routine more than others. To give your teen a sense of ownership, talk with them about the habits they want to cultivate and the goals they are working towards, then work together to establish one small supportive change at a time. Approach new routines as an experiment instead of a rigid rule: try something out and if it doesn’t work, be prepared to modify it. When schedules or circumstances change– like at the start of the school year or when your teen adds an activity– it’s a good time to reevaluate routines. Above all, stay flexible and keep communicating.

More tips for setting successful routines:

• Think about your teen’s (and family’s) pressure-points: Is it always a battle to get out of bed in the morning? Do you tend to get super-stressed around homework or meal times? These areas are the perfect place to start creating more structure.
• Make it simple to accomplish tasks without investing a ton of time and energy. Remember that reducing stress often involves having to make fewer choices, so consider routines like a rotating weekly menu or prepping outfits the night before.
• Teens are chronically sleep deprived, so sleep is one of the most powerful places to establish routines. Emphasize consistent bedtimes and wake-up times, especially on school days.
• Don’t forget to factor in downtime, exercise and time with friends. These activities are all critical supports for teen mental health, and should be a priority even for busy teens.
• Make a shared family calendar and include reminders for the most important routines. From phone notifications to the old-fashioned chore chart, visual and auditory cues help your teen get used to new structure.
• Incentivize progress. When your teen– or your whole family– sticks to a new routine, make sure you celebrate success.
• Don’t be rigid: If a routine gets disrupted, just stay positive and start over tomorrow. And take time to periodically reevaluate routines to make sure they’re still in everyone’s best interests.