stress – Lucero Speaks

Tips for Managing Back to School Stress

mbutler — Tue, 01 Aug 2023 00:21:26 +0000

Any transition can create stress, and going back to school is a big transition for teens. At the start of the school year, they may be navigating a mixture of social anxiety, academic pressure, disrupted routines, unfamiliar situations, and other challenges, all at once. Whether they are excited, anxious, or somewhere in between, all teens are likely to experience some stress around going back to school. Here, we outline 6 ways parents can help teens manage stress and get ready for a great year.

1. Be on the lookout for symptoms.

Teens are not always up front about feeling stressed, and sometimes they don’t recognize the symptoms in themselves. Parents can keep an eye out for any changes in teens’ behavior that might signal stress. Common signs include getting angry or upset more quickly, expressing worry or negative thoughts, difficulty concentrating, changes in eating or sleeping habits, and complaints about headaches, stomachaches, or other physical symptoms. Knowing the symptoms can help you identify stress and tend to them before they escalate.

2. Encourage them to talk it out.

Like adults, teens sometimes ignore their stress and hope it will just go away, but stress has a way of intensifying when we keep it inside. Whether they talk to a parent, friend, or therapist, just sharing what’s on their minds can help teens feel better and more in control. Before the school year starts, investigate potential sources of stress with no-pressure questions like, “What are you most excited about this year?” and “What are you least excited about?” A few weeks after the start date, check in again to see how they’re acclimating and offer your support.

3. Clear physical and mental clutter.

A new school year can be a fresh start, so it’s a great time for your teen to get rid of anything they no longer need. And, as author Eleanor Brownn says, “Clutter is not just physical stuff. It’s old ideas, toxic relationships, and bad habits. Clutter is anything that doesn’t support your better self.” Make the end of summer a time for the whole family to do a little conscious clutter clearing. For the physical stuff, give teens three boxes labeled Donate, Storage, and Trash/Recycle and ask them to assess what they’ve outgrown. For the rest of it, brainstorm any attitudes or habits you and your teen can let go of to support a stress-free school year.

4. Set intentions.

Setting intentions keeps teens focused on the positive and can help them feel proactive and empowered. Take some time to talk about their hopes and goals for the year ahead and how you can support them. Include goals for specific achievements (like “make the honor roll” or “try out for the dance team”) and how they want to think, feel, and act (like “stay open to new experiences” or “be kind to myself and others every day”). Setting intentions can be as simple as writing down a few powerful statements to post by the mirror, or as elaborate as crafting a vision board. Consider setting intentions together so you can champion each other’s progress and celebrate successes.

5. Get organized.

Teens with consistent schedules report higher levels of self-control and emotional well-being, according to a study by the University of Georgia. Before the school year starts, talk to your teen about what they think will help them stay organized and keep stress in check. Work together to create routines for getting ready for school, mealtimes, study-time, and bedtime. And set up your family’s shared calendar with a few dates for fun and relaxation in addition to their academic and extracurricular activities. Having something to look forward to can take teens’ minds off their worries and remind them that it’s also important to play.

6. Seek specific stress solutions.

Every teen deals with stress a little differently, and you can help them find the right recipe. Most likely, your teen needs a mix of mindfulness, relaxation, good sleep and food habits, unprogrammed time, exercise, nature, and social interaction. But to target specific kinds of stress, look to stress-soothing tools. Meditation and mindfulness apps and fun fidgets help teens calm anxiety. Teens who struggle with sleep could try a weighted blanket or listening to sleep stories on one of the apps shared above. And if your teen needs help getting organized, try a 5-star planner like the Class Tracker. Each of these solutions supports teens in developing healthy habits to manage stress and make the most of the year ahead.

How Healthy Habits Address Stress, Anxiety and Pressure

Jillian — Thu, 09 Mar 2023 21:36:20 +0000

Tweens and teens today are under intense pressure. According to a survey by the American Psychological Association, adolescent stress levels top those of adults, and the National Institute of Mental Health reports that 32% of teens will experience an anxiety disorder. And while the pandemic exacerbated already-high levels of teen stress, teens identify their top stressors as everyday issues like grades, tests, overall workload, lack of sleep, and time management.

There\’s no one-size-fits-all answer to this problem, but caregivers can help by teaching teens how to build healthy habits. Whatever the cause of their stress, tweens and teens who take just a few minutes each day to practice supportive habits feel more in control, reduce their anxiety, and boost executive functioning skills so they handle stress more effectively. Here’s how healthy habits help teens manage stress and anxiety:

1. They focus on solutions, not problems.

Just like adults, teens who are overwhelmed fixate on negative thoughts and imagine worst-case scenarios. But the teenage brain is still developing, so it processes information differently. The prefrontal cortex –the part of the brain responsible for reasoning, planning and logic– isn’t fully developed until about age 25. Until then, adolescents rely more on the emotion- and impulse-driven limbic brain to make decisions. That means they’re more likely to get trapped in a downward spiral of emotional upset. Healthy habits teach teens to focus on the solution to a problem rather than the problem itself. Instead of getting stuck in negativity, they learn to ask, “What can I do that will help me out of this situation?”

2. They gain a toolkit of positive practices.

Healthy habits can be viewed as foundational coping skills, regardless of age or stage of life. They help us stay strong –no matter what stress we’re facing– by supporting our mental, physical and emotional well-being. The teen years introduce more complex emotions, relationships and responsibilities, so the more positive practices teens learn, the better. And because the teenage brain is still developing, anchoring in healthy habits now makes them more likely to become lifelong. Habits to focus on include positive practices around sleep, diet, exercise, self-care, connection to others and more. Each gives teens a more complete set of tools so they feel in control and capable of handling any source of stress.

3. They provide structure.

A recent study from the University of Georgia found that teens with regular mealtimes, bedtimes and after school schedules “reported less alcohol use, greater self-control and emotional well-being and higher rates of college enrollment in young adulthood.” Consistent routines also correlated with lower levels of the stress hormone epinephrine. Healthy habits provide stability as teens experience the seismic neurological, psychological, social and emotional changes of adolescence. A foundation of well-being equips teens to learn, grow and handle change without succumbing to anxiety.

4. They build resilience.

Resilience comes from the Latin resilio, meaning “to jump” or “to bounce back.” Stress is inevitable, but teens can practice bouncing back from challenges and find opportunities for growth. When teens experience upset, healthy habits provide a foundation to fall back on: When I feel overwhelmed by my emotions, I know I need to take a break to just breathe and check in with myself. “When we are resilient, we not only adapt ourselves to stress and disappointments, we also grow the insight to avoid actions that might lead us to face such situations,” says writer Maduleena Chowdhury. Resilience leads to self-awareness, and the more self-aware teens are, the more easily they adapt to stress.

To give your teen the benefit of stress-busting healthy habits, download Lucero. It’s a gamified wellness app that builds emotional regulation skills and self-care habits in just a few minutes a day. Lucero is the most fun and engaging way for teens to gain healthy habits with bite-sized content co-created by experts and tweens and teens themselves.

Helping Your Teen Manage Social Anxiety

Jillian — Tue, 14 Feb 2023 07:33:23 +0000

For teens with social anxiety, each day brings a battle inside their brains: a chronic sense of dread, constant self-criticism and fear of humiliation. Their anxiety may be triggered by walking down a crowded hallway at school, being called on in class, talking on the phone, or any other situation that involves interacting with others. About one in ten teens between the ages of 13-18 will experience Social Anxiety Disorder, or SAD. Many more will experience occasional, low-level bouts of social anxiety; after all, feeling a little anxious and uncertain about social situations is a completely normal part of growing up. If you think your child may have Social Anxiety Disorder, reach out to a licensed therapist who can provide a diagnosis and treatment plan. If your teen is struggling with everyday social anxiety, these strategies can help you support them and teach them how to cope.

1. Know what SAD is… and isn’t.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, SAD is “characterized by persistent fear of one or more social or performance situations in which the person is exposed to unfamiliar people or to possible scrutiny by others.”

Symptoms of social anxiety include:

Worrying about being judged negatively or humiliated
Intense fear of interacting with strangers
Avoidance of social events or talking to people
Self-evaluation and self-criticism during and after social situations
Worrying for days or weeks before an event
Sweating, trembling, blushing, and/or rapid heart beat in social situations
Stomach aches, nausea, muscle tension or disrupted sleep

Social Anxiety Disorder is not the same as being introverted or shy or preferring a small group of friends. The key is to recognize when symptoms become unmanageable, stopping your teen from having a fulfilling social life or doing things they really want to do. When teens avoid every anxiety-provoking situation, they miss opportunities to learn social skills and build confidence, thus fulfilling their fears of embarrassment.

2. Let them know they’re not alone.

Teens with social anxiety feel overwhelmingly self-conscious and like they’re the only ones with a problem. Talking honestly about social anxiety helps them normalize their feelings, understand that everyone experiences some anxiety in social situations and create more self-acceptance and self-compassion. Talk with your teen about your own experiences and be willing to listen. And for more persistent problems, look for a therapist-led teen support group that targets social anxiety.

3. Teach them how to breathe.

Researchers agree that one of the most effective strategies for managing anxiety is mindful breathing. A simple exercise that’s easy to teach teens is box breathing: exhaling to a count of four, pausing for a count of four, inhaling to a count of four, and holding air in the lungs for a count of four, then repeating. Teens can also visualize tracing the sides of a square box or a big balloon inflating and deflating as they breathe. This and other breathing techniques activate the parasympathetic nervous system and counteract the body’s stress response, which is responsible for shallow breathing, fast heartbeat and other physical signs of anxiety.

4. Help them uplevel their self-talk.

Teens with social anxiety may not even notice the steady stream of self-judgment and self-criticism they’re likely engaging in,for example, thoughts like, “You’re so stupid! Everybody is laughing at you! You’re going to screw up again!” But most social anxiety is accompanied and made worse by negative self-talk. You can help your teen become aware of the voice inside their head and realize that they can decide whether or not to believe the self-defeating thoughts. Teach your teen how to acknowledge their fears and counteract them with positive self-talk: “Yes, I’m really nervous right now, but I’ve been practicing and I know I’ve got this.” For more suggestions, see our post on Turning Negative Self-talk Into Confidence.

5. Support them in facing their fears at their own pace.

Perhaps the most heartbreaking aspect of social anxiety is that teens’ phantom fears have a very real impact by keeping them from being and doing all the great things they’re capable of. Most anxious teens are painfully aware that they’re missing out, but facing their fears all at once feels too overwhelming. Instead, help your teen set realistic social goals – like making a new friend or joining a club at school – based on what matters most to them. Then identify micro-goals they can accomplish step-by-step. Make sure they’re equipped with strategies for self-compassion, remind them that practice makes perfect, and celebrate their successes with them. With the right mix of acceptance and persistence, teens can tackle social anxiety and emerge as confident, capable young adults.

5 Myths About Teen Mental Health

Jillian — Sat, 14 Jan 2023 02:12:02 +0000

There’s no doubt that teen mental health is in crisis. Since 2007, rates of teen depression and suicide have risen by 60%. Self-harm, anxiety and other mood disorders also rose sharply during the same period. And while the COVID-19 pandemic made things worse for many, teen mental health was in decline before 2020, making it hard for experts to identify a specific cause. Anyone who cares about young people should be concerned but, first, let’s dispel some common mental health myths that get in the way of seeing the crisis clearly:

Myth # 1: It’s all bad news.

While negative trends get most of the attention, it’s important to know there is also good news about teens’ well-being. Remembering that helps parents put things in perspective and focus on the actual potential problems their teen may be facing. According to Candice Odgers, a psychologist at the University of California, Irvine, “Young people are more educated; less likely to get pregnant, use drugs; less likely to die of accident or injury. By many markers, kids are doing fantastic and thriving. But… these really important trends in anxiety, depression and suicide that stop us in our tracks.”

Myth # 2: It’s just a phase.

Occasional sadness, worry and moodiness are normal for teens, but parents shouldn’t dismiss ongoing symptoms as something their teen will grow out of. In fact, periods of depression, anxiety or other mood disorders can disrupt teens’ development, causing them to miss out on important milestones and leading to lasting harmful behaviors and habits. For depression to be diagnosed, individuals must have symptoms for at least two weeks. If you or your teen are in doubt about whether they need help, reach out to a licensed mental health professional. Getting treatment early helps teens prioritize healthy habits and gain tools to stay stable.

Myth # 3: Kids these days have nothing to feel bad about.

It’s true that many of today’s teens have more material abundance and often fewer responsibilities than previous generations, but they also face unprecedented challenges. On average, teens now reach puberty a year or two younger than their parents did, leading to physical, neurological and social stress. They experience more pressure to perform in academics and extracurricular activities, while college has become exponentially more expensive and less of a sure path to success. They deal with the nonstop challenges of social media and digital devices and have higher rates of anxiety about gun violence, climate change and other important issues. In short, being a teenager today really can be tough.

Myth #4: It’s all because of social media.

It’s common for adults who grew up before the era of Instagram and TikTok to blame social media for the decline in teen mental health, but researchers say it’s not that simple. Rising rates of teen depression, anxiety and self-harm do correlate with the rise in social media and increased use of digital devices. But these technologies aren’t inherently evil, and they often help teens find connection and support that’s lacking in their off-line lives. Recent research suggests the problem may be more about what teens are missing out on when they overindulge in screen time, like sleep, time in nature, and in-person connection with caregivers, friends and family.

Myth #5: Poor parenting is to blame.

Lots of parents whose teens experience depression or other disorders ask, “What did I do wrong?” The truth is that many teens with mental health conditions have supportive and engaged parents. Remember that these disorders are biologically-based illnesses that can be triggered by environmental factors, but environmental factors aren’t necessarily or solely to blame. And remember that teens are developmentally wired to push back against their parents so, even if they blame you for their feelings, it may have nothing to do with you. Don’t take it personally, but DO do everything you can to get a licensed professional on board to help.

Turning Negative Self-Talk into Confidence

Jillian — Sun, 17 Jul 2022 18:48:42 +0000

“I can’t believe I missed that goal. I suck at hockey.”

“I’m so fat. Nobody will ever like me.”

“I’m going to bomb my algebra test… and probably the whole semester.”

If you\’re the parent of a teenager, chances are, you hear more than your fair share of negative self-talk. All teens (and let’s face it: adults, too!) are moody, cranky, and self-critical sometimes. But while some negative self-talk is normal, studies show that if taken too far, it leads to higher levels of stress, depression, and anxiety in adolescents. It also affects their academic performance, social well-being, and long-term self-esteem.

Since negative self-talk can be a sign of more serious depression or anxiety, parents should pay attention. But for most teens, know that negative self-talk is a habit that can be changed. Parents can teach teens to become more aware of their self-talk and transform self-criticism into self-confidence. Here are our favorite tips for turning teens’ negative self-talk around:

Notice. Don’t judge. As they go about their daily lives, teens can learn to pay attention to how their inner voice interprets their experiences. The key is to just observe at first, without judging themselves or their thoughts. According to psychologist Mary Alvord, “the idea is not to squelch the negative thought. Research has found that attempted ‘thought stopping’ can actually make the idea stickier. Rather, you want your child to face the thought, thoroughly examine it and replace it with a more realistic and helpful perspective.”

Examine negative self-talk. Taking some time to self-reflect gives teens valuable information about what’s going on in their minds and emotions. Sometimes negative self-talk reveals an actual problem. Maybe they’re dealing with test anxiety, feeling insecure about a friendship, or struggling with a transition. If you hear your teen repeat the same self-talk several times, mention it: “I noticed you’ve been really hard on yourself lately when you’re talking about try-outs. Want to talk about it?” When teens understand the feelings underneath their self-talk, they are empowered to be proactive and find a real-world solution, like asking someone they trust for support.

Reframe negative self-talk. Once they understand where their negative self-talk is coming from, teens can use the following steps to reframe it:

Evaluate the evidence. Ask: What are the actual facts? What evidence do I have that my negative thought is true? Is there evidence that it is untrue? How does the evidence stack up?
Seek alternate explanations and perspectives. Ask: Is there another explanation for this situation? Would someone else look at this situation in a different way? Is there another way I could look at this situation?
Practice self-compassion: Ask: What would I say to a good friend in this situation? What would a good friend say to me? How would I think about this situation if I had my own best interests at heart?
Create an affirmation: Flip the negative self-talk into a positive affirmation by stating the opposite. “This is too hard for me” becomes “ I like challenges,” and “I really screwed up” becomes “I choose to learn from my mistakes and not let them limit me.” When teens are trapped in negativity, affirmations help them reprogram their thinking with a positive outlook.

Visualize their ideal outcome. When they’re focused on everything that could go wrong, ask your teen to imagine the best thing that could happen instead. Teach them to picture their ideal outcome and then feel the good feelings that wash over them. The combination of positive mental imagery and emotional engagement builds self-confidence and edges out negative thinking.

Practice goal-oriented thinking. Self-talk can help teens reach their goals or it can hold them back. Goal-oriented thinking means listening to self-talk and asking, “Is this way of thinking helping me achieve my goals?” If not, teens can reframe it to aim in the direction they want to go in. Having a big goal is motivating, and upgrading their self-talk is one of the steps teens can take to get closer to achieving it.

Turning negative self-talk around helps teens feel more confident, motivated, and optimistic. It helps them handle everyday stress in a more constructive way and supports mental and emotional well-being. By practicing these steps, teens learn that they have the power to shape their reality from the inside out, one positive thought at a time.

6 Strategies to Simplify Your Teen’s Life

Jillian — Fri, 03 Jun 2022 18:40:20 +0000

It’s no secret that today’s teens are stressed. According to surveys conducted by the nonprofit Challenge Success, 95% of middle and high school students are sleep deprived, 77% experience stress-related health symptoms, and 63% say they are “constantly worried” about academics.

Researchers attribute rising teen stress levels to the same factors that drive adult stress, including unrealistic expectations and unrelenting pressure to succeed. Between homework, extracurricular activities, jobs, friends, and family, teens’ schedules are often just as packed as those of their parents.

One stress strategy that’s often overlooked for teens is simply… simplifying. With these six ideas, parents can help teens stress less, find fulfillment, and embrace the idea that sometimes, less is more.

Know what matters most. Simplifying our lives is about making more room for the things that are important to us and letting go of the things that aren\’t. To do that, we have to know what we value and what gives our lives meaning. Talking with your teen about what is important to them – and to the whole family – is a foundational step in helping them figure out what to keep and what to let go. These talks don’t have to be super-serious. Questions like, “If you could only choose one ____ or ____, what would you pick?” are light-hearted openers that invite deeper conversations. Teens are more likely to embrace simplification if you keep the emphasis on fun and fulfillment.
Create morning and evening routines. Stress thrives on chaos. One of the first places to simplify is the times that tend to get chaotic for busy families: the start and end of each day. Planning an advance-prep evening routine makes mornings go more smoothly. Teens can get in the habit of choosing clothes or putting lunch together so they don’t have to think about it when they’re rushing to get ready. Other ideas for routines include creating a bathroom schedule and weekly menu, setting up a family charging station, synchronizing transportation, and leaving gym bags, instrument cases, and backpacks packed and by the door.
Clear the clutter. When teens can’t find their homework or favorite hoodie because their room is always a disaster, it’s time for a clutter clean-out. Clutter makes it hard for teens to think clearly, focus, and accomplish tasks. Instead of targeting only your teen’s space, make it a whole-house project. Take turns picking music to make it fun. Label bags or bins for items to keep, toss, or donate, and let your teen choose a favorite charity to receive donated items. Once the clutter is cleared, consider an organization upgrade. Tons of colorful, fun organization options are available for teens, from rolling carts to desktop organizers to technology docking stations.
Reduce choices. We all feel overwhelmed when we have too many options to choose from (as any shopper staring at a wall of toothpaste or toilet paper will tell you). But it\’s developmentally important for teens to have choices, along with the increased autonomy and responsibility of making them. Parents can strike a balance by filtering their teen’s options. For example, “We have the bandwidth for you to do two extracurriculars this year; which two are you really excited about?” or “We can have eggs or smoothies for breakfast; your choice.” Teens can always speak up if they want something that’s not offered, but often they’re happy to have some of the pressure to decide taken off their plate.
Teach your teen to say ‘no.’ It sounds simple, but saying ‘no’ can be tough for teens. Reasons include fear of conflict, confrontation, disappointing others, or classic FOMO. But teens need to learn how to set healthy boundaries for themselves, and that means getting comfortable saying ‘no’ sometimes. Teach teens to stop and check in with themselves before automatically agreeing to a new invitation or activity. Does it feel fun, interesting, or important? Does it conflict with a previous commitment? Is there something they would rather be doing? Are they feeling any pressure from themselves or others? Helping them access their internal compass makes it easier for them to say no when they need to.
Create a family downtime ritual. As always, parents must model the behavior they want kids to embrace. One way to make simplicity more meaningful is to schedule consistent family time – maybe every Thursday night or Sunday afternoon – and intentionally dial down the intensity. Play board games, watch a movie, or make dinner together, but keep it relaxed and low-key. You might agree to silence your cell phones or turn off notifications and just focus on enjoying each other’s company. This lets your teen know that no matter how busy life gets, some things are sacred, and choosing to do and have a little less gives us a lot more of what matters most.

Simplifying can feel like a radical way to parent because we live in a culture in which “busyness” is a badge of success. But, the rising numbers of teens navigating stress and mental health challenges affirm that opportunities to help your teen simplify and focus are far more likely to assure their success.