1. Be on the lookout for symptoms.

Teens are not always up front about feeling stressed, and sometimes they don’t recognize the symptoms in themselves. Parents can keep an eye out for any changes in teens’ behavior that might signal stress. Common signs include getting angry or upset more quickly, expressing worry or negative thoughts, difficulty concentrating, changes in eating or sleeping habits, and complaints about headaches, stomachaches, or other physical symptoms. Knowing the symptoms can help you identify stress and tend to them before they escalate.

2. Encourage them to talk it out. 

Like adults, teens sometimes ignore their stress and hope it will just go away, but stress has a way of intensifying when we keep it inside. Whether they talk to a parent, friend, or therapist, just sharing what’s on their minds can help teens feel better and more in control. Before the school year starts, investigate potential sources of stress with no-pressure questions like, “What are you most excited about this year?” and “What are you least excited about?” A few weeks after the start date, check in again to see how they’re acclimating and offer your support.

3. Clear physical and mental clutter.

A new school year can be a fresh start, so it’s a great time for your teen to get rid of anything they no longer need. And, as author Eleanor Brownn says, “Clutter is not just physical stuff. It’s old ideas, toxic relationships, and bad habits. Clutter is anything that doesn’t support your better self.” Make the end of summer a time for the whole family to do a little conscious clutter clearing. For the physical stuff, give teens three boxes labeled Donate, Storage, and Trash/Recycle and ask them to assess what they’ve outgrown. For the rest of it, brainstorm any attitudes or habits you and your teen can let go of to support a stress-free school year.

4. Set intentions.

Setting intentions keeps teens focused on the positive and can help them feel proactive and empowered. Take some time to talk about their hopes and goals for the year ahead and how you can support them. Include goals for specific achievements (like “make the honor roll” or “try out for the dance team”) and how they want to think, feel, and act (like “stay open to new experiences” or “be kind to myself and others every day”). Setting intentions can be as simple as writing down a few powerful statements to post by the mirror, or as elaborate as crafting a vision board. Consider setting intentions together so you can champion each other’s progress and celebrate successes.

5. Get organized.

Teens with consistent schedules report higher levels of self-control and emotional well-being, according to a study by the University of Georgia. Before the school year starts, talk to your teen about what they think will help them stay organized and keep stress in check. Work together to create routines for getting ready for school, mealtimes, study-time, and bedtime. And set up your family’s shared calendar with a few dates for fun and relaxation in addition to their academic and extracurricular activities. Having something to look forward to can take teens’ minds off their worries and remind them that it’s also important to play.

6. Seek specific stress solutions.

Every teen deals with stress a little differently, and you can help them find the right recipe. Most likely, your teen needs a mix of mindfulness, relaxation, good sleep and food habits, unprogrammed time, exercise, nature, and social interaction. But to target specific kinds of stress, look to stress-soothing tools. Meditation and mindfulness apps and fun fidgets help teens calm anxiety. Teens who struggle with sleep could try a weighted blanket or listening to sleep stories on one of the apps shared above. And if your teen needs help getting organized, try a 5-star planner like the Class Tracker. Each of these solutions supports teens in developing healthy habits to manage stress and make the most of the year ahead.

Adolescence is the perfect time to develop conscious living skills because tweens and teens undergo brain changes that make them better at metacognition. Sometimes called “thinking about your thinking,” metacognition allows teens to be more aware of their thoughts, feelings, habits and behaviors and their power to change them. It can help teens make good decisions, choose healthy habits and live with greater self-awareness. Here are just a few of the ways conscious living benefits teens:

1. They know what matters most.

As teens begin to invest more in relationships with peers, they may feel pressured to go along with others over staying true to their own values and beliefs. Living consciously reminds teens that external approval doesn’t matter as much as feeling good about themselves. Above all, conscious living keeps teens aware that they always have a choice: they can consider all their options and make decisions based on what matters most to them.

1. They get goal-oriented.

The opposite of conscious living is going through life on autopilot, feeling lost or powerless to direct the course of your own life. It’s natural for teens to feel like they lack power at times, and many struggle to find a sense of direction and purpose. Conscious living empowers teens with tools to set goals and become more independent, responsible and self-motivated. They can define what success and fulfillment look like to them and chart their own course, one step at a time.

1. They can take charge, and let go.

Living consciously means taking charge of the things you have control over and letting go of the things you don’t. Teens learn that they are in charge of their own thoughts, words, behavior, choices and mistakes, and that they can’t control the thoughts, words, behavior, choices or mistakes of others. That helps them recognize when to take action and where they can change things. Then they respond to challenges by acting on what they can control, instead of getting frustrated by the things they can’t.

1. They grow their social-emotional intelligence. 

Being self-aware helps teens become more aware of others, too. Teens who practice conscious living are more likely to develop compassion, empathy and the ability to regulate emotions. Strong interpersonal skills help teens build healthy relationships and find a sense of belonging. Research shows that these solid connections with others provide powerful protection from depression, anxiety and other mental health disorders in teens.

1. They find an inner sanctuary.

Living consciously teaches healthy habits that help teens stay grounded in themselves, no matter what is going on in their outside lives or the world around them. From mindful breathing and positive self-talk to exercise and spending quality time with friends, teens learn to prioritize self-care and return to stabilizing routines whenever life gets tough. Having an inner sanctuary builds emotional resilience, protects teens’ mental health, and locks in positive practices they’ll take with them into adulthood.

…and here are some self-care tools we include in Lucero to help

To make living consciously a daily habit, teens need self-care reminders just like the rest of us. That’s why we built Lucero, a gamified wellness app built for teens and tweens. It includes personalized, teen-focused, therapist-approved suggestions for self-care, like:

• watching calming ASMR videos
• taking breaks to be active or go outside
• writing about a stressful situation and turning it into confetti

Each time teens try out a new self-care suggestion, they add more tools to their conscious living toolkit and build lasting healthy habits.

Uplevel your listening skills.

Just listening isn’t easy, but it may be what your teen needs most. Active listening means being completely present, available and focused on what your teen is saying (or not saying). Instead of assuming you know what’s up or thinking you need to be ready with answers, you give them space to work through their thoughts and feelings. It doesn’t mean you don’t offer feedback or step in to keep them safe, but your first priority is just being there for them. When parents are good listeners, it teaches teens to trust themselves and gives them the security of feeling unconditionally loved.

Establish supportive routines.

When everything seems uncertain, teens’  mental and emotional health are more vulnerable. To protect them in times of transition, make sure the things you can control feel as safe and predictable as possible. Talk to your teen about creating stable routines you can both count on. That might include regular bedtimes and mealtimes, schedules for homework and chores, limits on screen time, and making sacred space for family and friends. Always be ready to reevaluate routines or let them go if they’re not helping. Finally, routines should prioritize self-care, relationships and well-being, and they work best when they feel more like rituals than rules. 

Know their vision and values.

As Lewis Carroll said, “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.” Navigating transition is easier when teens have a goal to work towards, and values give them guardrails for making good decisions. Help your teen create their vision for a successful outcome and identify the micro goals to get there. What if the idea of a big-picture vision is overwhelming to your teen? Don’t pressure them. As they get used to the changes, they’ll get clearer about their opportunities and options. In the meantime, their goals can focus on exploration and taking it one day at a time. 

Address your own anxieties.

Worry is contagious. If you’re stressed about a transition, your teen is more likely to absorb your fears, act out against them, or try to “fix” things for you. Take time to identify each of your anxieties with self-compassion: Are you uncertain about your future and how that will affect your family? Concerned about your teen’s safety? Worried that your relationship with them will change? Once you’re clear about the source of your stress, ask yourself what you need to feel more supported. Make connections with others who understand your experience. Talk to a therapist, parenting coach, or supportive friend. Take time to breathe, exercise, and eat and sleep well. Make a list of resources and establish a plan. When you feel calm and capable, your teen will, too.

Put together a transition team.

When we talked to teens about transitions, they mentioned dealing with a family member’s illness, worrying about money after a parent’s job loss, and getting used to living with new step-siblings. Relationships are a big part of what gives teens their sense of self, so in times like these, other relationships can provide stability. Help your teen establish a support team of family, friends, and mentors. It’s especially important if you’re in transition, too. You and your teen both need to know you’re not in it alone, and you don’t have to be the sole source of support for each other. Reach out to people you trust and ask if they’re willing to be on call or spend extra time with your teen. Talk to their teachers, school counselor, and parents of their close friends. Let your teen know that it’s ok to ask for help. Instead of feeling fearful and alone, teens can learn to seek connection and stay open to opportunities. Transitions can help them develop self-awareness and clarity about their goals, get closer to the people they love, and be at ease with the inevitable changes of life.

Conscious living is a lifelong practice, but teens have an edge in developing the skills to live in a more satisfying, self-aware way. During early adolescence the brain undergoes explosive growth in metacognition, or awareness of and ability to understand one’s own thought processes. Sometimes called “thinking about your thinking,” metacognition helps teens self-reflect, evaluate their own thoughts, feelings, and behavior, and make more thoughtful choices. The teen years are also when long-term habits develop. It\’s the perfect time for parents to provide teens with tools and techniques to grow into living consciously.

7 Strategies To Help Teens Embrace Conscious Living

1. Model metacognitive thinking Parents are their kids’ best role models when it comes to making conscious choices. The opposite of conscious living is going through life on autopilot, reacting instead of reflecting and responding to challenges. To boost your own self-awareness, cut down on mindless multitasking and find ways to practice mindfulness, even if it’s just a few moments of meditation each day. Let your kids observe you thinking through your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and taking action to change things that don’t serve you. When you put your own conscious-living practices in place, teens will take note.

2. Invite self-reflection When your teen talks to you about decisions or challenges, they’re facing, be genuinely curious. Avoid the temptation to leap to conclusions or give them advice. Ask open-ended questions and encourage them to explore their own thoughts and actions out loud. Thoughtful questions (instead of suggestions) help teens develop their metacognitive superpowers. Try asking “What do you think would happen if you tried ___?” or “What do you think your teacher meant by ___?”

3. Identify unhelpful habits Most of us, including teens, have a few unconscious habits that keep us from focusing on the things that are most important in life. Letting go of unhelpful habits is empowering for teens, but they have to be intrinsically motivated to do so. Parents can help by noticing when de-energizing habits (like staying up too late) are impacting activities that are important to teens (like getting to practice on time). Help teens see that they’re making a choice between values, and they’re ultimately the ones who decide where to put their energy.

4. Prioritize inner awareness For all of us, worrying too much about what other people think can get in the way of conscious living. Teens tend to be especially susceptible to worrying about the opinions of others and may ignore their own inner awareness if they think others will judge or exclude them. Living consciously means being brave, trusting our intuition, and making decisions based on our personal values. Parents can help steer kids back towards trusting themselves and letting go of the fear of being different.

5. Remind teens what they are in charge of A big part of conscious living is taking responsibility for the things we can control and letting go of the things we can’t. A powerful reminder: we are in charge of our own words, values, choices, mistakes, efforts, and behavior. We can’t control the words, values, choices, mistakes, efforts, or behavior of others. When teens are dealing with difficulty, help them find a response from the things they can control, instead of feeling frustrated by the things they can’t.

6. Encourage emotional intelligence Teens often experience surges of new, intense emotions. When they aren’t sure how to process these feelings, they can get overwhelmed, feel anxious, and either zone out or act out. Conscious living means accepting all emotions as valid and listening to and learning from them. Parents can help by normalizing talking about feelings and giving kids tools to process intense emotions, like mindful breathing, journaling, or talking things through with a mentor.

7. Spotlight how choices lead to change At its heart, conscious living is all about making choices – choices about what we value, where we put our time and attention, and how we want to live. Living consciously helps teens take empowered action towards ever-greater alignment with their values, vision, and goals. Parents can remind teens that whatever the circumstances, they can always choose how to respond, and any situation can be changed through reflection and action. Even through seemingly small acts, teens can craft the life they want to live, one conscious choice at a time.