We don’t have a time machine on hand, but we have the next best thing for the young people in your life right now. Lucero is a gamified wellness app that helps tweens and teens build healthy habits for self-care and emotional resilience in just a few minutes a day. It’s designed by licensed therapists and tweens and teens themselves, and – best of all – it’s fun! Lucero gives young people a mental health mentor, right in their pockets. Here are four ways our approach is unique and tailored for today\’s tweens and teens:

1. Lucero is youth-driven.

It’s time to get serious about solving the youth mental health crisis. The number of high school students reporting persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness increased by 40% between 2009 and 2019, and from 2007-2018, suicide rates among youth ages 10-24 increased by 57%. To create solutions, we need all the experts on board, and Lucero believes that includes tweens and teens themselves. After all, who knows better how young people are thinking and feeling right now? We asked our youth advisors, “If you had a magic app that could solve the problems you face, what would it do?” Then we built the safe space they asked for. All of our content is created by trauma-informed licensed therapists who work closely with tweens and teens to get it right.

2. Lucero is accessible.

In 2016 only about half of children with a treatable mental health disorder actually received treatment, and the pandemic made it even harder for young people to access mental health care. Many face accessibility and affordability barriers, and most families lack the skills, language and tools to talk about mental health with confidence. Lucero makes emotional regulation and self-care skills accessible to anyone with a smartphone. It learns which activities improve teens’ mood and well-being, and provides a customized experience that includes families as part of the care team. Lucero also gives parents and pros insight into topics that resonate with teens, as well as streamlined access to support and resources.

3. Lucero is gamified.

Lucero’s approach is to gamify healthy habits like positive self-talk, emotional regulation and connection with others. The 12-week adventure of World 1 helps teens develop self-awareness and build confidence while evolving their Avatars, tracking their progress and earning badges. The Crew feature lets them invite up to seven friends and family members to join them on the journey, so they can have fun learning together. Why gamify? Studies show that making learning fun increases motivation, so tweens and teens stay engaged longer and lock in those healthy habits. 

4. Lucero is bite-sized.

Did you know that all it takes to create a healthy habit is just a few minutes a day? Behavior scientists and psychologists say the best way to make big changes is to take it one small step at a time. That means breaking down big goals into micro-habits: tiny habits that are easy to repeat and build over time. Teens who take this approach are more likely to stay inspired. Lucero provides daily reinforcement of resources and healthy habits that support teens in mind, body and spirit. It’s almost as if your older, wiser self showed up to say, “Hang in there! Here are some tools to help you get through this.” No time machine required.

1. Lead with empathy.

Sometimes teenage disappointments seem small from the perspective of a parent, and sometimes we see their mistakes coming from a mile away. But if parents dismiss or minimize teens’ feelings, they’re likely to internalize emotions instead of talking to you when things are hard. No matter what your teen is going through or how you feel about it, lead with empathy. If it’s hard not to say, “I told you so,” remind yourself that your teen doesn\’t have as much life experience as you do. Ask yourself how you would feel if you were their age and in their shoes, acknowledge their feelings, and express love and concern.

2. Hold space for their feelings. 

Disappointments often bring an incredibly complex mix of emotions. Let’s say your teen tries out for a team but doesn’t make the cut. Their disappointment may include shame about their performance, grief from losing hope for a goal they cared about, and fear about how not being on the team will affect their friendships with those who did make it. Your teen may not want or be able to articulate all those aspects, but you can still hold space for them to work through whatever they are feeling and let them know you understand that their disappointment has lots of layers.

3. Ask them what kind of support they need. 

Some teens need space to process their emotions while others want to talk it out. Some want downtime and others prefer to stay busy. Sometimes a parent’s perspective is welcome, and other times a warm hug without words might be best. Empower your teen by asking how you can best provide support. A simple, “What can I do that would make you feel most supported right now?” helps teens think about and speak up for their own needs: a powerful first step in healing their hurt feelings.

4. Affirm their worth and abilities.

Disappointments almost always involve some kind of perceived failure. They can cause teens’ self-esteem to take a hit and scramble their sense of identity: If that didn’t work out, what does it mean about who I am? It may seem obvious to you, but teens sometimes need reminders that their worth is not based on their achievements, popularity, or any external factor. Disappointments also provide an opportunity to tell them all the things you and others appreciate about them, strengthening your teen’s evolving identity. Your unconditional love provides a template for teens knowing how to love themselves even when things fall short of their expectations.

5. Give them a comprehensive coping toolkit. 

Disappointed teens can get drawn into spirals of negative thinking, and negative thoughts feed negative emotions. When they can’t break that cycle, they may be more vulnerable to depression, anxiety and self-criticism. Prepare your teen with tools like affirmations, self-compassion, and these stress strategies. Whenever they’re stuck in negativity, your teen can try techniques from mindful breathing to positive self-talk to practicing self-acceptance. This builds self-efficacy and lets teens know they are capable of self-care.

6. Help them use setbacks to fuel growth. 

It’s never fun to encounter disappointment, but hard things help us grow more than times when everything goes our way. Give your teen the gift of a growth mindset by sharing stories of your own setbacks and mistakes, what you learned, and how you moved forward. Praise them for persistence, effort, bravery and resilience. As Winston Churchill famously said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” Disappointments give teens an opportunity to get clear about their values and identity, refocus their energy, and aim for goals that make their lives meaningful.

1. Know what SAD is… and isn’t.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, SAD is “characterized by persistent fear of one or more social or performance situations in which the person is exposed to unfamiliar people or to possible scrutiny by others.”

Symptoms of social anxiety include:

• Worrying about being judged negatively or humiliated
• Intense fear of interacting with strangers
• Avoidance of social events or talking to people
• Self-evaluation and self-criticism during and after social situations
• Worrying for days or weeks before an event
• Sweating, trembling, blushing, and/or rapid heart beat in social situations
• Stomach aches, nausea, muscle tension or disrupted sleep

Social Anxiety Disorder is not the same as being introverted or shy or preferring a small group of friends. The key is to recognize when symptoms become unmanageable, stopping your teen from having a fulfilling social life or doing things they really want to do. When teens avoid every anxiety-provoking situation, they miss opportunities to learn social skills and build confidence, thus fulfilling their fears of embarrassment.

2. Let them know they’re not alone.

Teens with social anxiety feel overwhelmingly self-conscious and like they’re the only ones with a problem. Talking honestly about social anxiety helps them normalize their feelings, understand that everyone experiences some anxiety in social situations and create more self-acceptance and self-compassion. Talk with your teen about your own experiences and be willing to listen. And for more persistent problems, look for a therapist-led teen support group that targets social anxiety.

3. Teach them how to breathe. 

Researchers agree that one of the most effective strategies for managing anxiety is mindful breathing. A simple exercise that’s easy to teach teens is box breathing: exhaling to a count of four, pausing for a count of four, inhaling to a count of four, and holding air in the lungs for a count of four, then repeating. Teens can also visualize tracing the sides of a square box or a big balloon inflating and deflating as they breathe. This and other breathing techniques activate the parasympathetic nervous system and counteract the body’s stress response, which is responsible for shallow breathing, fast heartbeat and other physical signs of anxiety.

4. Help them uplevel their self-talk.

Teens with social anxiety may not even notice the steady stream of self-judgment and self-criticism they’re likely engaging in,for example, thoughts like, “You’re so stupid! Everybody is laughing at you! You’re going to screw up again!” But most social anxiety is accompanied and made worse by negative self-talk. You can help your teen become aware of the voice inside their head and realize that they can decide whether or not to believe the self-defeating thoughts. Teach your teen how to acknowledge their fears and counteract them with positive self-talk: “Yes, I’m really nervous right now, but I’ve been practicing and I know I’ve got this.” For more suggestions, see our post on Turning Negative Self-talk Into Confidence.

5. Support them in facing their fears at their own pace.

Perhaps the most heartbreaking aspect of social anxiety is that teens’ phantom fears have a very real impact by keeping them from being and doing all the great things they’re capable of. Most anxious teens are painfully aware that they’re missing out, but facing their fears all at once feels too overwhelming. Instead, help your teen set realistic social goals – like making a new friend or joining a club at school – based on what matters most to them. Then identify micro-goals they can accomplish step-by-step. Make sure they’re equipped with strategies for self-compassion, remind them that practice makes perfect, and celebrate their successes with them. With the right mix of acceptance and persistence, teens can tackle social anxiety and emerge as confident, capable young adults.