To stay connected to themselves and others, tweens and teens need healthy habits that build self-awareness, authenticity and empathy. Lucero makes these habits easy with a gamified, bite-sized approach and radical support for tweens, teens and the adults who care for them. Here’s how we do it:

1. Lucero supports self-awareness. Tweens’ and teens’ self-concept is rooted in the strength of their relationships with others. Positive relationships give them self-confidence, and self-confidence boosts their capacity to connect with others. In other words, to connect with others, teens need to connect with themselves, too. Here are a few of the ways Lucero supports self-awareness:

• Lucero takes tweens and teens on an adventure of self-discovery that renews with new challenges each day. As they make their way through Journey, teens learn emotional literacy, explore self-regulation, and build self-confidence. And every discovery is logged, so teens can reflect on how they have grown.
• Lucero checks in with teens’ moods, then provides a toolkit of over 600 self-care habits for every emotion. Each time they spin the wheel in Spark, they take care of their minds, bodies and hearts.

2. Lucero makes authenticity accessible. To feel good about themselves, teens need to know that their whole self is accepted, including all their quirks, challenges, and imperfections. Here’s how Lucero makes authenticity accessible:

• Teens get a daily dose of self-celebration in Sanctuary. It’s a place where they can express themselves by evolving their Avatars, tracking their progress and earning Badges.
• Teens can choose personal quests like “Be kinder to myself” in Missions. They complete their mission with fun, personalized support that’s all about developing healthy habits and achieving goals one step at a time.
• Teens can share their self-discovery with up to seven “framily” members who make up their Crew… that’s anyone who radically supports them in being the most authentic version of themselves!

3. Lucero evolves empathy. The teen years are prime time for developing empathy. Studies show that adolescents score significantly lower than adults in measurements of both cognitive and affective empathy. That’s because the teenage brain is still developing, and empathy is a learned skill. Here’s how Lucero evolves empathy:

• Friends and family members can join teens on their self-care journey to cheer each other on and support each other. Staying connected to their Crew reminds teens that they’re part of a network of care.
• Lucero encourages teens to share what they discover about themselves with their Crew. That sparks curiosity and conversations, helps them see things from other perspectives and deepens their concern for others.

4. Lucero checks in consistently. Lucero is backed by leading-edge research that says the key to developing healthy habits like connection is keeping it simple and providing repetition and reward. To keep teens connected, Lucero checks in consistently with ways to share, reach out to others, and strengthen their support system. Every activity is co-created by youth and backed by licensed therapists. It’s fun, engaging, and consistent, helping tweens, teens and their caregivers cultivate connections that protect their mental health and lead to lifelong well-being.

1. It’s the antidote to an epidemic of loneliness.

Three in five Americans suffer from loneliness, according to a recent survey by the Cigna Group. Even more troubling is that young adults aged 18-24 reported loneliness at twice the levels of older adults. “Chronic loneliness is as destructive to our bodies and health as smoking a pack of cigarettes a day,” says Geoffrey Cohen. High levels of loneliness correlate with deaths of despair– deaths caused by addiction to alcohol, painkillers or other drugs, or by suicide. Ultimately, researchers say these losses are attributable to the social pain of feeling disconnected. The more supportive connections teens have with family, friends and others, the bigger their safety net.

2. It nurtures teens’ sense of identity.

The most important job of the teen years is crafting an identity, or sense of self. Teens are figuring out who they are as individuals and where they fit with their family and society. But while identity is all about defining our individual selves, how we feel about ourselves depends almost entirely on our relationships with others. A recent study found that positive social relationships, social support and social acceptance help shape the development of self-esteem. In short, to feel good about themselves, teens need to know they matter to others.

3. It creates a neurological blueprint for positivity.

All sources of connection, from close relationships to everyday interactions with acquaintances and strangers, contribute to the development of the teenage brain. In the book Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships, researcher Daniel Goleman writes, “Even our most routine encounters act as regulators in the brain, priming our emotions, some desirable, others not. The more strongly connected we are with someone emotionally, the greater the mutual force.” When teens have multiple resources for kindness, care and support, their brains develop neural pathways for positive emotions like confidence, security and compassion.

4. It helps them be more authentic.

To feel a sense of belonging, teens need to know they are loved for who they are, including all of their imperfections. Tweens and teens often think that they have to fit in to belong, but as Brené Brown writes in The Gifts of Imperfection, “Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging… doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.” When teens know they belong no matter what, it gives them the courage to be more authentic in every situation. They can own their strength and vulnerability, their triumphs and struggles, and all the qualities that make them unique.

Want to make sure your teen gets the benefits of belonging and connection? Lucero is a safe space for teens and tweens to just be themselves and connect with others who radically support them. Teens can invite up to seven friends and family members to join them on their self-care journey. Crew members cheer each other on, support each other on the hard days, and grow connections with themselves and each other. Lucero is the most fun and engaging wellness app for emotional regulation, with bite-sized activities that are co-created with youth, backed by clinical therapists, and take just a few minutes each day.

We don’t have a time machine on hand, but we have the next best thing for the young people in your life right now. Lucero is a gamified wellness app that helps tweens and teens build healthy habits for self-care and emotional resilience in just a few minutes a day. It’s designed by licensed therapists and tweens and teens themselves, and – best of all – it’s fun! Lucero gives young people a mental health mentor, right in their pockets. Here are four ways our approach is unique and tailored for today\’s tweens and teens:

1. Lucero is youth-driven.

It’s time to get serious about solving the youth mental health crisis. The number of high school students reporting persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness increased by 40% between 2009 and 2019, and from 2007-2018, suicide rates among youth ages 10-24 increased by 57%. To create solutions, we need all the experts on board, and Lucero believes that includes tweens and teens themselves. After all, who knows better how young people are thinking and feeling right now? We asked our youth advisors, “If you had a magic app that could solve the problems you face, what would it do?” Then we built the safe space they asked for. All of our content is created by trauma-informed licensed therapists who work closely with tweens and teens to get it right.

2. Lucero is accessible.

In 2016 only about half of children with a treatable mental health disorder actually received treatment, and the pandemic made it even harder for young people to access mental health care. Many face accessibility and affordability barriers, and most families lack the skills, language and tools to talk about mental health with confidence. Lucero makes emotional regulation and self-care skills accessible to anyone with a smartphone. It learns which activities improve teens’ mood and well-being, and provides a customized experience that includes families as part of the care team. Lucero also gives parents and pros insight into topics that resonate with teens, as well as streamlined access to support and resources.

3. Lucero is gamified.

Lucero’s approach is to gamify healthy habits like positive self-talk, emotional regulation and connection with others. The 12-week adventure of World 1 helps teens develop self-awareness and build confidence while evolving their Avatars, tracking their progress and earning badges. The Crew feature lets them invite up to seven friends and family members to join them on the journey, so they can have fun learning together. Why gamify? Studies show that making learning fun increases motivation, so tweens and teens stay engaged longer and lock in those healthy habits. 

4. Lucero is bite-sized.

Did you know that all it takes to create a healthy habit is just a few minutes a day? Behavior scientists and psychologists say the best way to make big changes is to take it one small step at a time. That means breaking down big goals into micro-habits: tiny habits that are easy to repeat and build over time. Teens who take this approach are more likely to stay inspired. Lucero provides daily reinforcement of resources and healthy habits that support teens in mind, body and spirit. It’s almost as if your older, wiser self showed up to say, “Hang in there! Here are some tools to help you get through this.” No time machine required.

Self-care can be physical, like getting enough sleep and moving your body, mental, like practicing gratitude and self-reflection, or emotional, like learning to self-regulate big feelings and strengthening relationships. Psychologists and behavior scientists say the best way to make self-care a habit is to start small: set a goal, find an action that supports it, and practice that action for just a few minutes each day until it becomes a part of your routine. The more practice teens have, the more easily they’ll be able to navigate transitions. Here’s how those healthy habits help:

1. Healthy habits keep teens on track. 

For millennia, explorers searched the skies for the guiding light of Polaris, the North Star, which identified true north. When they spotted the star, they knew if they were drifting off course. Teens in transition need a North Star, too – habits that remind them who they are when they’re at their best. A recent study from the University of Georgia found that teens with healthy habits like regular mealtimes, consistent bedtimes and after-school schedules reported greater self-control and emotional well-being, among other benefits. The study’s authors say that all teens experience dramatic neurological, biological and social changes during adolescence, and healthy habits provide a foundation of stability that makes it easier for them to deal with change.

2. Healthy habits reduce teens’ stress.

Stress is a major risk factor for mental health disorders like anxiety and depression, and teen stress levels are at an all-time high. According to psychologist Matt Bellace, transitions are especially tough for teens because “the teenage brain is generally more anxious than the adult brain… due to the rapid development of the amygdala, a brain structure involved in emotional expression, compared to the slower development of brain areas involved in decision making and reasoning.” Healthy habits like regular exercise, connection with others, and practices to develop emotional resilience are proven to build a buffer against stress. In the University of Georgia study, for example, researchers found that teens with consistent healthy routines had lower levels of the stress hormone epinephrine.

3. Healthy habits help teens reach their goals. 

Transitions are smoother when teens have a goal to work towards. When a challenge or change comes up, teens can ask, “Where do I want to go from here?” and set micro-goals to get closer to their big goal one step at a time. Healthy habits help teens identify the support they need and give it to themselves. A transition like making new friends can seem scary until teens break it down into simple steps like sitting in a new place at lunch, talking to one new person at school, or joining a club or activity that interests them. As those actions become habitual, teens take baby steps toward their goal until they attain it. Even better, they learn how to use the same process to achieve anything they set their minds to.

To help your teen navigate transitions and turn adolescence into an adventure, download Lucero. It’s a gamified wellness app that builds emotional regulation skills and self-care habits in just a few minutes a day. Lucero is the most fun and engaging way for teens to gain healthy habits with bite-sized content co-created by experts and tweens and teens themselves.

Adolescence is the perfect time to develop conscious living skills because tweens and teens undergo brain changes that make them better at metacognition. Sometimes called “thinking about your thinking,” metacognition allows teens to be more aware of their thoughts, feelings, habits and behaviors and their power to change them. It can help teens make good decisions, choose healthy habits and live with greater self-awareness. Here are just a few of the ways conscious living benefits teens:

1. They know what matters most.

As teens begin to invest more in relationships with peers, they may feel pressured to go along with others over staying true to their own values and beliefs. Living consciously reminds teens that external approval doesn’t matter as much as feeling good about themselves. Above all, conscious living keeps teens aware that they always have a choice: they can consider all their options and make decisions based on what matters most to them.

1. They get goal-oriented.

The opposite of conscious living is going through life on autopilot, feeling lost or powerless to direct the course of your own life. It’s natural for teens to feel like they lack power at times, and many struggle to find a sense of direction and purpose. Conscious living empowers teens with tools to set goals and become more independent, responsible and self-motivated. They can define what success and fulfillment look like to them and chart their own course, one step at a time.

1. They can take charge, and let go.

Living consciously means taking charge of the things you have control over and letting go of the things you don’t. Teens learn that they are in charge of their own thoughts, words, behavior, choices and mistakes, and that they can’t control the thoughts, words, behavior, choices or mistakes of others. That helps them recognize when to take action and where they can change things. Then they respond to challenges by acting on what they can control, instead of getting frustrated by the things they can’t.

1. They grow their social-emotional intelligence. 

Being self-aware helps teens become more aware of others, too. Teens who practice conscious living are more likely to develop compassion, empathy and the ability to regulate emotions. Strong interpersonal skills help teens build healthy relationships and find a sense of belonging. Research shows that these solid connections with others provide powerful protection from depression, anxiety and other mental health disorders in teens.

1. They find an inner sanctuary.

Living consciously teaches healthy habits that help teens stay grounded in themselves, no matter what is going on in their outside lives or the world around them. From mindful breathing and positive self-talk to exercise and spending quality time with friends, teens learn to prioritize self-care and return to stabilizing routines whenever life gets tough. Having an inner sanctuary builds emotional resilience, protects teens’ mental health, and locks in positive practices they’ll take with them into adulthood.

…and here are some self-care tools we include in Lucero to help

To make living consciously a daily habit, teens need self-care reminders just like the rest of us. That’s why we built Lucero, a gamified wellness app built for teens and tweens. It includes personalized, teen-focused, therapist-approved suggestions for self-care, like:

• watching calming ASMR videos
• taking breaks to be active or go outside
• writing about a stressful situation and turning it into confetti

Each time teens try out a new self-care suggestion, they add more tools to their conscious living toolkit and build lasting healthy habits.

Myth # 1: It’s all bad news.

While negative trends get most of the attention, it’s important to know there is also good news about teens’ well-being. Remembering that helps parents put things in perspective and focus on the actual potential problems their teen may be facing. According to Candice Odgers, a psychologist at the University of California, Irvine, “Young people are more educated; less likely to get pregnant, use drugs; less likely to die of accident or injury. By many markers, kids are doing fantastic and thriving. But… these really important trends in anxiety, depression and suicide that stop us in our tracks.”

Myth # 2: It’s just a phase.

Occasional sadness, worry and moodiness are normal for teens, but parents shouldn’t dismiss ongoing symptoms as something their teen will grow out of. In fact, periods of depression, anxiety or other mood disorders can disrupt teens’ development, causing them to miss out on important milestones and leading to lasting harmful behaviors and habits. For depression to be diagnosed, individuals must have symptoms for at least two weeks. If you or your teen are in doubt about whether they need help, reach out to a licensed mental health professional. Getting treatment early helps teens prioritize healthy habits and gain tools to stay stable.

Myth # 3: Kids these days have nothing to feel bad about. 

It’s true that many of today’s teens have more material abundance and often fewer responsibilities than previous generations, but they also face unprecedented challenges. On average, teens now reach puberty a year or two younger than their parents did, leading to physical, neurological and social stress. They experience more pressure to perform in academics and extracurricular activities, while college has become exponentially more expensive and less of a sure path to success. They deal with the nonstop challenges of social media and digital devices and have higher rates of anxiety about gun violence, climate change and other important issues. In short, being a teenager today really can be tough.

Myth #4: It’s all because of social media.

It’s common for adults who grew up before the era of Instagram and TikTok to blame social media for the decline in teen mental health, but researchers say it’s not that simple. Rising rates of teen depression, anxiety and self-harm do correlate with the rise in social media and increased use of digital devices. But these technologies aren’t inherently evil, and they often help teens find connection and support that’s lacking in their off-line lives. Recent research suggests the problem may be more about what teens are missing out on when they overindulge in screen time, like sleep, time in nature, and in-person connection with caregivers, friends and family.

Myth #5: Poor parenting is to blame. 

Lots of parents whose teens experience depression or other disorders ask, “What did I do wrong?” The truth is that many teens with mental health conditions have supportive and engaged parents. Remember that these disorders are biologically-based illnesses that can be triggered by environmental factors, but environmental factors aren’t necessarily or solely to blame. And remember that teens are developmentally wired to push back against their parents so, even if they blame you for their feelings, it may have nothing to do with you. Don’t take it personally, but DO do everything you can to get a licensed professional on board to help.

Conscious living is a lifelong practice, but teens have an edge in developing the skills to live in a more satisfying, self-aware way. During early adolescence the brain undergoes explosive growth in metacognition, or awareness of and ability to understand one’s own thought processes. Sometimes called “thinking about your thinking,” metacognition helps teens self-reflect, evaluate their own thoughts, feelings, and behavior, and make more thoughtful choices. The teen years are also when long-term habits develop. It\’s the perfect time for parents to provide teens with tools and techniques to grow into living consciously.

7 Strategies To Help Teens Embrace Conscious Living

1. Model metacognitive thinking Parents are their kids’ best role models when it comes to making conscious choices. The opposite of conscious living is going through life on autopilot, reacting instead of reflecting and responding to challenges. To boost your own self-awareness, cut down on mindless multitasking and find ways to practice mindfulness, even if it’s just a few moments of meditation each day. Let your kids observe you thinking through your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and taking action to change things that don’t serve you. When you put your own conscious-living practices in place, teens will take note.

2. Invite self-reflection When your teen talks to you about decisions or challenges, they’re facing, be genuinely curious. Avoid the temptation to leap to conclusions or give them advice. Ask open-ended questions and encourage them to explore their own thoughts and actions out loud. Thoughtful questions (instead of suggestions) help teens develop their metacognitive superpowers. Try asking “What do you think would happen if you tried ___?” or “What do you think your teacher meant by ___?”

3. Identify unhelpful habits Most of us, including teens, have a few unconscious habits that keep us from focusing on the things that are most important in life. Letting go of unhelpful habits is empowering for teens, but they have to be intrinsically motivated to do so. Parents can help by noticing when de-energizing habits (like staying up too late) are impacting activities that are important to teens (like getting to practice on time). Help teens see that they’re making a choice between values, and they’re ultimately the ones who decide where to put their energy.

4. Prioritize inner awareness For all of us, worrying too much about what other people think can get in the way of conscious living. Teens tend to be especially susceptible to worrying about the opinions of others and may ignore their own inner awareness if they think others will judge or exclude them. Living consciously means being brave, trusting our intuition, and making decisions based on our personal values. Parents can help steer kids back towards trusting themselves and letting go of the fear of being different.

5. Remind teens what they are in charge of A big part of conscious living is taking responsibility for the things we can control and letting go of the things we can’t. A powerful reminder: we are in charge of our own words, values, choices, mistakes, efforts, and behavior. We can’t control the words, values, choices, mistakes, efforts, or behavior of others. When teens are dealing with difficulty, help them find a response from the things they can control, instead of feeling frustrated by the things they can’t.

6. Encourage emotional intelligence Teens often experience surges of new, intense emotions. When they aren’t sure how to process these feelings, they can get overwhelmed, feel anxious, and either zone out or act out. Conscious living means accepting all emotions as valid and listening to and learning from them. Parents can help by normalizing talking about feelings and giving kids tools to process intense emotions, like mindful breathing, journaling, or talking things through with a mentor.

7. Spotlight how choices lead to change At its heart, conscious living is all about making choices – choices about what we value, where we put our time and attention, and how we want to live. Living consciously helps teens take empowered action towards ever-greater alignment with their values, vision, and goals. Parents can remind teens that whatever the circumstances, they can always choose how to respond, and any situation can be changed through reflection and action. Even through seemingly small acts, teens can craft the life they want to live, one conscious choice at a time.

We recommend starting small with strategies that target the source of their stress. Over time, implementing one or two of these mini-meditations can help your teen learn how to be positive and proactive when it comes to managing stress.

If your teen struggles with anxiety, try box breathing.

Picture a square box. Inhale to a count of four as you trace one of the sides of the box in your mind’s eye. Follow the line of the box as you exhale to a count of four. Inhale… and exhale… each time, matching the rhythm of your breath to four counts. Set a timer and practice box breathing for at least one minute, or longer if it helps.

Paying attention to your breathing is Mindfulness 101. Adding the four-count rhythm and focusing on the box helps your teen create a “safe container” for their attention, so they can regain control of their runaway thoughts. And their slow, controlled breathing deactivates the sympathetic nervous system’s “fight or flight” response, which signals the body to breathe shallowly and increase heart rate. Box breathing basically hacks the nervous system, with a reassuring “Relax, I’ve got this.”

We recommend box breathing for any form of anxiety. It’s super-supportive for teens to get calm and focused before a test, performance, game, or other high-intensity events.

If your teen struggles with self-esteem, try self-compassion.

Is there an area of your life where you could be kinder to yourself? Think about the feelings that come up when you judge yourself and follow the steps below. Allow 3-5 minutes. (Based on the work of Karen Bluth, Ph.D. as part of the Mindful Self-Compassion for Teens course from the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion):

1. Feel your feelings, including your emotions and physical sensations. Just notice what it’s like right now – let go of judging yourself. Say, “Right now, I’m struggling,” or “Right now, this is hard,” or, “This sucks,” or whatever feels right to acknowledge your feelings.

2. Now remember that you’re a human being, and all human beings struggle and suffer sometimes. It’s tough to go through something hard, but it also means that you’re connected to others who have been there, too. Acknowledge that: “This is normal,” or “I’m not alone in this,” or “Other people feel this way, too.”

3. Now think about what you would say to a good friend who was going through the same thing. Be that friend for yourself. Place one or both hands on your heart. Say, “May I be kind to myself,” or “I accept and love myself just as I am,” or whatever you need to hear to feel supported.

4. Sit for a moment with the feeling of being connected to others and to yourself, and having compassion for whatever it is you’re going through. Breathe the feeling of compassion through your body and mind, and notice what changes in your emotions and physical body when you do.

According to the Berkeley-based Greater Good Science Center, “As their cognitive capabilities grow… teens become more self-aware and, ultimately, more self-conscious. This can breed harsh self-criticism, so the need for self-compassion among teens is crucial.” Self-compassion is great for any source of stress, but it’s especially helpful for teens who have a tendency to be hard on themselves, or who have been bullied or picked on by peers. Teens who practice self-compassion report less depression and more feelings of resilience and gratitude – a huge boost in well-being from this one simple strategy.

If your teen struggles with attention and focus, try moving meditation.

The magic of mindfulness means you can practice any time, doing anything! Meditation doesn’t have to mean sitting still. High-energy teens can still reap the benefits of moving mediation.

Pick an activity you like to do – it could be running, biking, yoga, dance, or something that’s part of a sport you play, like dribbling a basketball or kicking a soccer ball. The best activities are rhythmic, so you can match your movement to your breath. Try doing that activity while paying attention to your breathing. If you notice your mind starting to wander, just bring it back to your breath. While you’re breathing, check in with how your body feels. See if you can make the rhythm of your body match the rhythm of your breath. Do this for 3-5 minutes – longer if it feels good.

Like box breathing, moving meditation gives teens a point of focus and clears away distracting thoughts. Mindful movement keeps the body and brain engaged together, and teaches kids to direct their focus and channel their energy. This is a super-strategy for high-energy, focus-challenged kids, empowering them with self-awareness and self-control.

Whatever the practice, even small doses of mindfulness are proven to help teens reduce their stress and anxiety and increase attention, concentration, self-esteem, and empathy. Once you and your teen are clear about the source of their stress, you can team up to target it. Mindfulness is not one-size-fits-all, so there are a million ways to practice. That means there’s a mediation out there that’s perfect for your one-of-a-kind kid. 

We set out to discover what growth-oriented parents do differently and came up with four surprising insights:

They compliment with care. When you praise your child, which of their qualities do you compliment? Praise carries subtle implications about what we value. If parents praise perfection, it may send the message that mistakes are not ok. If we only encourage kids to do things they’re already good at, they may assume that we think they’ll fail at something new. You can help your kids cultivate courage by complimenting their persistence, effort, hard work, bravery, resilience, and willingness to learn from a mistake. Let them know you’re proud of them when they try new things and take risks, whether or not they succeed. Your encouragement and validation helps them feel successful even when they fall short of a goal.

They know that teens’ brains are “works in progress.” Growth mindset researchers tell us that teens’ brains are still forming, constantly making new neural connections and pruning away underused ones. After the first three years of life, early adolescence is the second most active neurological phase of the human lifespan, and major changes keep happening in the brain throughout the teen years. As they make positive decisions, learn new things, and bounce back from mistakes, they’re literally crafting their adult brain to be resilient. Knowing this can help both of you relax your fears of failure and remember the power of persistence.

They don’t “helicopter” parent. Helicopter parenting tends to backfire. It signals to teens that 1) they’re not capable of solving problems on their own, and 2) you don’t trust them. Parents who nurture a growth mindset monitor their own anxiety and remember that in addition to keeping their kids safe, they’re also helping them grow into strong, independent adults. Practice not rushing to the rescue every time something doesn’t work out. Talk to your teen about why it’s sometimes so hard for you to let go…that way, they know you’re motivated by care, not control.

They ease up–on themselves. How do you react when you make a mistake? If you get angry or mutter, “I can’t believe I did that; I’m so stupid,” remember that your teen is paying attention. Instead of criticizing yourself, practice self-compassion. If appropriate, see if you can find some humor in the situation. Then look for and talk about what you learned from the mistake. Teens are often relieved when their parents are willing to be vulnerable with their imperfections and grateful when they hold themselves accountable. Letting your kids see you keep trying and growing – even when it’s messy – may be the very best example of a growth mindset you give them.

The benefits of a growth mindset are many: more courage and willingness to stretch for goals, higher motivation, better relationships, and lower levels of stress, anxiety, and depression. A growth mindset is one of the most significant predictors of success and well-being for young people. Don’t underestimate the impact of your parenting in helping your teen develop a lifelong commitment to a growth mindset.

Originally published on Personalexcellence.org