Self-awareness is a critical developmental milestone, so Lucero creates opportunities for tweens and teens to have fun discovering who they are, what matters most to them, and how to practice self-care and self-regulation. Here’s more about the science behind self-discovery:

1. Tweens and teens are wired for self-discovery.

Beginning at puberty, tweens get a big boost in neuroplasticity, and plasticity means potential. Research shows that brain processing and memory-forming power peak at age 18. Tweens and teens naturally become more curious, impulsive, sensitive, and self-conscious: qualities that encourage self-reflection and self-awareness. New ideas, people, and experiences are filtered through their emerging sense of self to be integrated or rejected. “It’s important for kids to be challenged and exposed to novelty in order to facilitate healthy development of brain systems that are important for things like self-regulation,” says Lawrence Steinberg, PhD.

2. Risks and mistakes are part of the process.

As curiosity, sensitivity, and attraction to adventure grow in teens, “these developmental aptitudes for discovery also bring elevated risk,” says Dr. Miller. Take a deep breath, parents and caregivers: Mistakes are part of self-discovery. “The way that the adolescent brain responds to the world has a lot to do with the impulsive, irrational, and wrongheaded decisions teens seem to make so frequently,” says Frances Jensen, PhD. Adolescence brings both increased independence and the need for guidance and guardrails. Tools like Lucero help tweens and teens make decisions based on self-awareness and learn from those inevitable mistakes.

3. Self-discovery helps them find their “Why.”

As tweens and teens set out on the adventure of self-discovery, they’re also on a quest for purpose. This is the perfect time to engage about what matters most to them and what motivates their choices. Project Wayfinder founder Patrick Cook-Deegan says, “the development of purpose is intricately woven with the development of identity… Embarking on a voyage of discovering one’s purpose is critical during the adolescent years.” Remember, though, that pressure to find purpose can backfire by feeling overwhelming to tweens and teens. Keep the emphasis on exploration, not the destination.

4. Self-discovery supports mental health and overall well-being. In the teenage brain, research finds increased communication between the reward-seeking striatum and the memory-storing hippocampus. That means that tweens and teens are more sensitive and impressionable to learning that provides rewarding outcomes. Lucero’s approach to self-care and self-regulation harnesses this science through gamification. When self-discovery is fun and accessible, tweens and teens are more likely to embrace the tools and store them in their long-term memory, thus building a foundation for lifelong well-being.

Want to share the adventure of self-discovery with the tweens and teens in your life? Lucero’s wellness app is a gamified, bite-sized approach to self-discovery with content that’s co-created by licensed therapists and a team of youth collaborators. The Journey feature invites users on a voyage to Mente Island. Along the way, they develop social-emotional learning skills, build self-awareness, and shape their emerging identity every step of the way.

1. Encourage extracurriculars. 

Extracurricular activities are the perfect place for teens to make friends because the structure they provide can strengthen friendships. It’s easier, for example, for shy teens to start conversations with others who have similar interests and schedules. Working towards shared goals helps teens bond and learn to support each other. Extracurricular activities also include built-in support from parents, coaches, or teachers– helpful for things like dealing with conflict. And friends who are passionate about the same things are more likely to motivate your teen to do their best. In short, when your teen finds their niche, they’re also likely to grow great friendships.

2. Advocate for authenticity.

Authenticity means being true to your own identity and values: not always easy when teens are still figuring that stuff out for themselves. But parents can remind teens the importance of being their whole selves and the difference between fitting in and belonging. According to researcher Dr. Brené Brown, “Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.” Teach your teen to do a gut-check whenever they’re uncertain: “Do I feel safe being my whole self around this person? Is there any part of me that’s not welcome or supported?” Encourage your teen to reserve their inner circle for friends who have earned their trust and with whom they can be authentic.

3. Teach them how to handle conflict.

Because friendships form such an important part of their identity, conflict feels like a major crisis when teens aren’t prepared to deal with it. But when relationships are strong, conflict can actually make them even better. Nothing builds trust and helps us understand each other like resolving a disagreement. First, equip your teen to feel, talk about, and take responsibility for their own emotions. Share tools like mindful breathing for self-care and self-regulation. And when conflict comes up at home, practice basic skills like active listening, using “I” statements, and offering honest apologies. This helps teens manage the stress of conflict and feel empowered to deal with it in a proactive way.

4. Prioritize positivity.

Sometimes teens pick friends who cause concern. Maybe they behave disrespectfully, use language you’re not comfortable with, or just seem a little too mature for your teen. In cases like these, immediately forbidding a friendship will probably cause your teen to respond with anger and resistance. Instead, stay engaged by asking questions, like what they admire about that person and what they enjoy doing together. Invite their friends to join in family gatherings, and get to know them by asking genuinely curious questions. Often, teens who are a little rough around the edges just aren’t used to interacting with a caring adult. Your presence might be enough to bring out the best in them. And if there’s a real reason for concern, you’ll see it sooner.

5. Support their style of socializing.

Some teens are social butterflies; others prefer quiet hangouts with their best friend or a small group. Some sign up for every after-school activity, others find their tribe in online communities. Just remember that teen friendship is about quality, not quantity. Researchers say having just one or two close friendships can be as good or better than having a large group of friends And while online friendships are fine, teens do need IRL relationships to develop social skills. Whatever their socializing style, make sure your teen knows their friendships matter to you. Let them know you’re happy to host, drive, or help plan things they think would be fun. Get to know their friends and what matters most to them. Give them opportunities to make their own choices while knowing you always have their back.