self-acceptance – Lucero Speaks https://lucerospeaks.com A wellness app for you and your crew Mon, 10 Mar 2025 21:25:00 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://lucerospeaks.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/cropped-favicon-32x32.png self-acceptance – Lucero Speaks https://lucerospeaks.com 32 32 218056427 Why is Nurturing Self-Discovery so Important Right Now? https://lucerospeaks.com/why-is-nurturing-self-discovery-so-important-right-now/ Thu, 10 Aug 2023 23:00:11 +0000 https://lucerospeaks.com/why-is-nurturing-self-discovery-so-important-right-now/ If you’ve been following us for a while, you probably already know that everything Lucero creates – from new features in the app to our social posts – is a collaboration between licensed clinical therapists and a team of youth advisors. Hands down, we believe that the best way to address the current youth mental health crisis is by building solutions with the input of tweens and teens themselves.

You also probably know that we’re big on self-discovery. That’s because developmental psychologists say that establishing a unique, individual identity is what adolescence is all about. Research shows that a strong sense of self benefits tweens and teens by:

  • increasing self-awareness and self-confidence
  • building self-regulation skills
  • guiding them to make healthier choices
  • protecting their mental health, and
  • helping them grow into resilient adults.

Emphasizing self-discovery during adolescence should be a given, right? But here’s what we’ve learned from talking with tweens and teens: When asked to define self-discovery, they either don’t have an answer or they equate it with determining sexuality and gender identity. While that is certainly an important part of self-discovery, there is so much more that makes you… well, YOU! We need to do a better job of teaching young people how to explore their unique skills, values, and strengths, and how to use those qualities to build a happy, healthy life. That’s where Lucero comes in.

Lucero’s Journey feature gamifies the inner work of self-discovery to make it fun and engaging. Based on personality traits, users create an Avatar who grows and transforms with them. They advance on their voyage by answering questions crafted to build self-awareness and provide individualized emotional regulation skills. Prompts might, for example, help them discover healthy habits to deal with stress or other difficult emotions. New insights and tools are added to each user’s personal Log for easy, anytime access.

Here are three ways Lucero’s playful, bite-sized approach to self-discovery supports the development of a strong sense of self:

1. Tweens and teens learn to look inside for answers.

Adolescents are growing up in a world of constant comparison and pressure to look to others for answers. Whether scrolling on Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat or going down YouTube rabbit holes, they’re bombarded with external opinions and judgments. One therapist who advises Lucero says, “When asked questions, they often route it to what other people say, think or do. It is very challenging to turn that question around for youth to really reflect on their own opinions about various topics.” Lucero encourages users to explore their own values, quirks, and strengths, and boosts their confidence to just be themselves.

2. Lucero models the importance of self-care.

Self-discovery isn’t just about learning what makes you special; it’s also about learning how to take good care of yourself. Each of Lucero’s features is designed to give tweens and teens practical, developmentally-appropriate tools and practices to care for their minds, bodies, and hearts. Users learn how to identify, name and regulate their emotions, develop healthy habits that are proven to protect mental health, and reach out for support from others. Strengthening emotional regulation skills teaches them that they can control their emotional state, which builds self-efficacy.

3. Lucero embeds the journey of self-discovery in the support of real-life relationships.

One critical piece of a youth’s self-discovery journey is finding a sense of belonging with others. Researchers tell us that acceptance, inclusion, and feeling valued by others helps strengthen an adolescent’s identity and self-confidence. That’s why Lucero makes real-life relationships part of the self-discovery equation. Tweens and teens can invite any combination of friends and family members to join their Crew. Crew members share insights, offer support, and help each other reach their goals. By strengthening tweens’ and teens’ relationship with themselves and with others, Lucero helps them discover and grow into the healthiest, happiest version of themselves.

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Raising Your Teen to Embrace Vulnerability https://lucerospeaks.com/raising-your-teen-to-embrace-vulnerability/ Thu, 11 May 2023 14:41:34 +0000 https://lucerospeaks.com/raising-your-teen-to-embrace-vulnerability/ When parents are asked what qualities we hope for in our teens, we use words like kindness, courage, resilience, and purpose. Vulnerability probably doesn’t make it onto many lists, but maybe it should. According to clinical social worker and researcher Dr. Brené Brown, embracing vulnerability – including our imperfections, mistakes, and difficult emotions – is how we develop all these traits and more. In her book, Daring Greatly, Brown writes, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”

Making friends with vulnerability is a lifelong lesson, and it’s never too early to start. Here are our five top tips for helping teens develop this secret strength:

1. Acknowledge that teens are already brave just for being where they are.

Feeling vulnerable is tough at any age, but it\’s extra challenging for teens. Parents sometimes forget that teens are still in the early stages of building their neurological, psychological, and social foundations. All of a sudden, they’re figuring out their identities, navigating more complex relationships, and feeling a wider range of emotions than ever before. All those inner and outer changes mean that adolescence is already a vulnerable time. When parents acknowledge that, the support helps teens feel a bit braver trying new things, making mistakes, and opening up.

2. Teach them that their worth and worthiness are innate. 

A sense of belonging is incredibly important to teens, and that includes feelings of safely belonging with their family, friends, peers, and community. Since vulnerability often brings the possibility of judgment from others, stepping out of their comfort zone in any of these relationships can feel scary. Emphasize to your teen that their worth – and their worthiness to belong – can’t be taken away, no matter what they do, think, or say. If they know what unconditional love and acceptance feels at home, they’re more likely to form healthy relationships with people who embrace their whole selves.

3. Make emotional vulnerability a family value.

All teens can struggle with vulnerability, but studies show that boys have an especially hard time. In a recent survey from Plan International, a third of boys said they think society expects them to hide or suppress their feelings when they feel sad or scared. Another third said society expects them “to be strong, tough, ‘be a man,’ and ‘suck it up.’” Perhaps more alarmingly, 41% of boys said that when they feel angry, they are expected to be aggressive or react violently. Parents play a huge role in modeling and welcoming emotional openness. Helping teens learn to “name and claim” their emotions can teach them that all emotions are valuable, even the uncomfortable ones. Let them know that you appreciate it when they express their feelings, and build trust by sharing your feelings with them, too.

4. Praise and reward teens more for effort than for winning.

Naturally, parents feel a special sweetness when their hardworking teen aces an essay contest or crosses the finish line first. It’s great to celebrate their victories, but a lot of teens’ courage to be vulnerable comes from less triumphant moments. Acknowledge them for working hard, taking risks, making wise choices, being a team player, and helping others, too. Be especially aware of times when they put themselves out there and don’t meet with success, since that’s when they’re likely to feel vulnerable. One dad takes his two daughters out to “celebrate courage” whenever they’ve stretched themselves, whether or not there’s a win involved. See our post on Growth-Mindset Parenting for more ideas.

5. Teach them about the perils of perfectionism.

High-achieving teens often demonstrate perfectionist tendencies, but studies show that perfectionism harms much more than it helps. Dr. Brown’s research found perfectionism to be “correlated with depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis or missed opportunities.” The more teens measure their identity and worth by their achievements, the more they’ll struggle with vulnerability. If you notice your teen holding themselves to an unattainable standard, remind them that they are worth far more than their accomplishments. Help them figure out what goals matter most to them and why they are motivated to work hard. According to Brown, “healthy striving is self-focused: How can I improve? Perfectionism is other-focused: What will they think?”

Vulnerability is all about the soft side of being human. Sometimes that feels like fear or shame, but it can also feel like love, compassion, and courage. Learning to lean into their uncomfortable emotions helps teens make an ally of vulnerability. Then they begin to see themselves as imperfect but whole and deserving of belonging – just like everyone else.

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Meet Jillian Domingue, CEO https://lucerospeaks.com/meet-jillian-domingue-ceo/ Thu, 27 Oct 2022 08:42:50 +0000 https://lucerospeaks.com/meet-jillian-domingue-ceo/

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We\’ve been building an app for \”framilies.\” Framilies are any combination of youth and adults who want to radically support each other.

Jillian Domingue, Lucero\’s CEO, has a Bachelor\’s degree in Human Development and Family Sciences from The University of Texas and over a decade of experience building programs, products, and services to improve the lives of individuals and families. Her experience as foster mom and daily life as an adoptive mom to two young children inspire and influence her work developing Lucero.  Here she shares some of the passion she has for this important work.

  1. Can you share why you\’re so invested in teen and adolescent mental health?

My drive to invest my time in teen and tween mental health comes from personal life experiences combined with the realization that the need for more accessible and effective resources is greater now than ever before. We have a youth mental health epidemic happening right now. Along with the crisis resources being developed and deployed, we need effective upstream solutions to help diminish the possibility of a mental health crisis for youth.

On a more personal level, I was the queer kid who navigated coming out at 16, triggering a process of navigating my own self-acceptance and self-love for several years.

I have also spent countless days trying to find and access mental health resources for youth in my care as a foster mom. One of the hardest days of my entire life was walking my foster daughter through the doors of a mental health hospital because we hadn’t been able to find the right resources in time. Nothing prepares you for the reality of realizing that as a mom, you can’t fix everything. It breaks you.

As a mother, I’d do anything to go back in time years before our crisis, years before my foster daughter even showed up at my house, to give her, I, and the other foster parents in her life the skills, language, and tools to better navigate what the next five years of her life would throw her way.

Since time travel isn’t possible, I’m committed to doing everything I can to help other youth and families be more prepared through Lucero.

  1. What are you most excited about in terms of how people are now understanding that teens need more emotional support and proactive interventions to help them in daily lives?

I am most excited about inviting youth to design these resources together. Instead of retrofitting what has worked with adults, we have the opportunity to really listen, meet youth where they are, and design solutions with and for them.

In interviews with tweens and teens, one consistent theme is they don’t want to be told what to do. We can probably all agree that we were that teen/tween at one point or another. With clinical experts as part of the team to provide guardrails and share evidence-based tools, together we have the opportunity to really transform the youth experience– making self-care and radical support the norm.

  1. What is one key to good parent/teen communication around mental health wellness?

Normalize talking about mental health.

It’s not something “other families deal with”. It’s something we all deal with. It’s part of the human experience.

As a mom who has gone through potty training twice, my kids and I have read countless books that normalize pooping. Including the book, “Everyone Poops” by Taro Gomi– which is a family favorite!

Right along with that book, families should be reading “Everyone has Mental Health”. This is the level of normalizing that I feel mental health needs.

A friend recently shared that she’s started taking her daughter (age 3) to a therapist every 6-months for a check-up as a way to normalize the experience. You go to your pediatrician and dentist for regular check-ups, and we understand that preventative care keeps us healthy. I think this is an absolute genius way to help your kids always know from a very young age that there’s someone there when/if things get out of their control. There’s no shame in asking for help. Mental health is health, and I love the idea of normalizing it as such. 

  1. What is valuable in regard to teens having access to mental health mobile apps?

Youth 8-12 spend an average of 4-6 hours per day in front of a screen. With this number skyrocketing to up to 9 hours per day for teens. I think the most valuable impact of mental health apps is accessibility. It’s a resource youth can access 24/7 when they are out-and-about or in the privacy of their room at 3 am when they can’t fall asleep.

The second most valuable part of youth having access to mental health mobile apps on their phone is it starts to allow them to make a choice for where they spend their time. They become more consciously aware of options and the way certain apps make them feel vs. others.

  1. If you could give one piece of insight for practitioners working with teens and mental health what would that be?

Actively listen to youth. Even in small moments where you can give them their own agency to choose the questions they want to ask (or answer) can have great impact. Many youth we interview sound like either ships adrift at sea with no direction at all or like they are on a ship pulled by a rope in a direction they have no control over and aren’t too sure about. Actively listening to youth will start helping youth adjust their own sail or paddle their own oars–skills that can help them navigate all the future waves that life will inevitably bring.

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