Lucero’s wellness app is designed to make the journey of self-discovery easy and fun,  because self-discovery creates confidence, maintains mental health, and leads to lifelong well-being. Here are four key ways self-discovery guides tweens and teens towards confidence:

1. Self-discovery strengthens their capacity for self-care.

Learning how to take care of themselves mentally, physically and emotionally is a big part of tweens and teens becoming independent young adults. Self-care requires figuring out what they need to maintain their own well-being, manage stress, and find balance. As they come to value their uniqueness, adolescents get more skilled at identifying their own needs and understanding how their needs may differ from those of other people. Increased confidence also helps tweens and teens get comfortable meeting their own needs and asking others for support.

2. Self-discovery supports self-regulation.

Lucero’s model draws from the research of Albert Bandura, who found that people learn to change their behavior, in part, through self-reflection. Reflecting on feelings and how they affect behavior begins with naming emotions, a strategy Dan Siegel calls “Name it to tame it.” Neuroimaging research shows that labeling an emotion reduces activity in the amygdala, an area of the brain responsible for processing emotions. As tweens and teens get better at managing their emotions, they learn that they have control of their emotional state, which leads to more confidence.

3. Self-discovery helps them make better decisions.

The prefrontal cortex – responsible for self-control, impulse regulation, and other executive functioning skills – is still developing in teens. At the same time, increased hormones fire up the brain’s pleasure-seeking mesolimbic system. This Dual Systems Model explains why tweens and teens often struggle with making wise decisions. Self-discovery helps them make decisions based on their own beliefs, values, and goals instead of looking to others for answers. Anchored in self-awareness, a confident adolescent is less likely to just “go along with the crowd” or take a risk that jeopardizes their physical or emotional safety. And practice making decisions expands tweens’ and teens’ capacity for responsibility and confidence.

4. Self-discovery leads to a sense of purpose.

“The biggest problem growing up today is not stress, it’s meaninglessness,” says Stanford School of Education professor and psychologist William Damon. “We all need a purpose, but at that formative period of life, when you don’t even know who you are, you really need it.” Damon defines purpose as a goal that’s both “meaningful to the self and consequential to the world beyond the self.” Thus, self-discovery and purpose are intrinsically linked. When tweens and teens have opportunities to explore their curiosities, talents, and passions, they’re more likely to find activities and connections that give them a sense of purpose and build their confidence.

Lucero helps adolescents engage in self-discovery with gamified, bite-sized tools to explore their inner and outer worlds, created by licensed clinical therapists and a team of youth advisors. Our approach to self-discovery makes it easy for tweens and teens to develop self-awareness and learn emotional regulation skills, growing their confidence with each and every step.

You also probably know that we’re big on self-discovery. That’s because developmental psychologists say that establishing a unique, individual identity is what adolescence is all about. Research shows that a strong sense of self benefits tweens and teens by:

• increasing self-awareness and self-confidence
• building self-regulation skills
• guiding them to make healthier choices
• protecting their mental health, and
• helping them grow into resilient adults.

Emphasizing self-discovery during adolescence should be a given, right? But here’s what we’ve learned from talking with tweens and teens: When asked to define self-discovery, they either don’t have an answer or they equate it with determining sexuality and gender identity. While that is certainly an important part of self-discovery, there is so much more that makes you… well, YOU! We need to do a better job of teaching young people how to explore their unique skills, values, and strengths, and how to use those qualities to build a happy, healthy life. That’s where Lucero comes in.

Lucero’s Journey feature gamifies the inner work of self-discovery to make it fun and engaging. Based on personality traits, users create an Avatar who grows and transforms with them. They advance on their voyage by answering questions crafted to build self-awareness and provide individualized emotional regulation skills. Prompts might, for example, help them discover healthy habits to deal with stress or other difficult emotions. New insights and tools are added to each user’s personal Log for easy, anytime access.

Here are three ways Lucero’s playful, bite-sized approach to self-discovery supports the development of a strong sense of self:

1. Tweens and teens learn to look inside for answers.

Adolescents are growing up in a world of constant comparison and pressure to look to others for answers. Whether scrolling on Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat or going down YouTube rabbit holes, they’re bombarded with external opinions and judgments. One therapist who advises Lucero says, “When asked questions, they often route it to what other people say, think or do. It is very challenging to turn that question around for youth to really reflect on their own opinions about various topics.” Lucero encourages users to explore their own values, quirks, and strengths, and boosts their confidence to just be themselves.

2. Lucero models the importance of self-care.

Self-discovery isn’t just about learning what makes you special; it’s also about learning how to take good care of yourself. Each of Lucero’s features is designed to give tweens and teens practical, developmentally-appropriate tools and practices to care for their minds, bodies, and hearts. Users learn how to identify, name and regulate their emotions, develop healthy habits that are proven to protect mental health, and reach out for support from others. Strengthening emotional regulation skills teaches them that they can control their emotional state, which builds self-efficacy.

3. Lucero embeds the journey of self-discovery in the support of real-life relationships.

One critical piece of a youth’s self-discovery journey is finding a sense of belonging with others. Researchers tell us that acceptance, inclusion, and feeling valued by others helps strengthen an adolescent’s identity and self-confidence. That’s why Lucero makes real-life relationships part of the self-discovery equation. Tweens and teens can invite any combination of friends and family members to join their Crew. Crew members share insights, offer support, and help each other reach their goals. By strengthening tweens’ and teens’ relationship with themselves and with others, Lucero helps them discover and grow into the healthiest, happiest version of themselves.

Majority of Lucero Phone App Users Report Mood Improvement 

[Austin, TX, June 2023] —

In the midst of an unprecedented mental health crisis which was recently highlighted by the US Surgeon General, over 50 youth, therapists, game designers and developers collaborated to make the Lucero digital app. The majority of teens and tweens that use the Lucero phone app show mood improvement, according to a recent white paper titled, “Increasing Access to Youth Mental Health Support.”

The goal of the Lucero app is to increase confidence, build emotional regulation skills, and provide support for children who are waiting to receive mental health services. A team of licensed mental health therapists from Ensemble Therapy and Dell Children’s Hospital in Austin have co-created all of the mental wellness and social-emotional skill building content for the app.“We took evidence-based activities that are being successfully used by mental health therapists every week and placed them in the pockets of youth and families,” the Lucero creators shared.

The effectiveness of Lucero’s content has been validated by a third party PhD researcher. Since launching in December of 2022, over 60% of users reported mood improvement while using the Spark “Self Care Wheel” feature of the app. Many adolescents in the pilot study showed a decrease in negative feelings within 20 minutes.

According to Jillian Domingue, CEO, “Our team of youth collaborators makes us successful and have been instrumental in the development of every aspect of this mental health app, from design to content approval.”  Lucero uses “gamified graphics” and collaborated with a former Disney story writer to create an engaging user experience. Since launching in December 2022, Lucero has over 7,000 explorers in the Beta launch and their retention is on par and exceeds other digital wellness apps.

Lucero is live on the App Store and Google Play for phones. Tablet compatibility is in the near future. Download the white paper at Lucerospeaks.com.

CONTACT:

Jillian Domingue, CEO
Lucerospeaks.com
jillian@lucerospeaks.com
512-870-7532

1. Upgrade your own conversations.

Your teen will follow your lead, so set a good example of active listening, practicing empathy, paying attention to nonverbal cues, and asking thoughtful questions. It’s not just how you interact with them that matters– they’re also paying attention to how you talk to family, friends and complete strangers. Think about one or two small ways you could make conversations feel more meaningful to you. Is eye contact important? Authenticity? Finding common ground? Slowing down and really listening? Try a few small, intentional upgrades in your own interactions, and notice how your teen’s conversation skills grow, too.

2. Make daily check-ins a ritual.

Asking “How was your day?” is likely to get the same rote response: “Fine.” But with a little effort, daily check-ins can spark deeper connection between you and your tween or teen. Vashti is a mom of three who stumbled onto an easy afternoon ritual: after school, she makes tea for any of her teens who are home and they sit at the kitchen table and chat. She says, “The tea makes it feel special. It’s simple, but it makes us all slow down. The kids say they want a cup of tea, but I know it’s more about being together.” Rose, Bud, Thorn is another activity to encourage connection: each person shares a rose (something positive), a bud (something they’re looking forward to), and a thorn (something they need support for or feel stuck with). Or keep a deck of conversation cards in the glove box or on the dinner table to make it easy to ask more interesting questions each time you’re together.

3. Focus on the positive.

We feel safe talking to close family and friends, so that’s when we’re more likely to vent, complain or gossip. While that can feel good in the short-term, negative talk easily becomes a habit that’s hard to break. Teens need to know that it’s ok to talk about hard things and painful emotions, but it’s not helpful to get stuck in negativity. A truly meaningful conversation will help teens become more self-aware and capable of self-regulation and solving problems. Notice if conversations with your teen tend to get gloomy and practice steering them back towards silver linings, lessons learned, challenges overcome and opportunities to take meaningful action or be grateful. Listen and offer support, then empower them to find a positive perspective.

4. Build confidence with diverse connections.

Relationships shape their sense of self, so teens with more diverse connections will naturally become more self-assured communicators. If they’re only interacting with close family members and peers, they’ll be less confident when talking to anyone outside their comfort zone. Help your teen form relationships with people who come from different generations, backgrounds and perspectives. Look for extracurricular activities, service opportunities, internships or after-school jobs that encourage interaction with others and provide safety and structure. Even introverts benefit from making more varied connections; just keep the focus on relationship quality over quantity.

5. Spend quality time with them.

As teens get older, busier and more independent, shared experiences are the glue that keeps your connection close. Scheduling quality time with your teen may be a challenge, but even a little time together helps fuel your relationship. Think of your time together as an opportunity to continue (or start) traditions and make lifelong memories. Try setting aside one evening a week or one weekend day a month just for you and your teen to connect. Aim to mix activities that you both already enjoy with new ones that are a little out-of-the-box. Volunteer for a cause your teen cares about, take turns designing a “perfect” day, or do something you’ve never tried before, like going to a rage room or an improv class. Bonding over new experiences builds connection and trust and gives you and your teen tons to talk about, now and in the years to come.

1. Practice positive thinking.

Confident people are almost always optimists, and optimism starts with positive thinking. Optimism is “a state of hopefulness and confidence about the future,” says Positivity Project founder Mike Erwin. “It\’s also a state we can train ourselves to adopt. We can resist pessimism, assert control, and learn to appreciate setbacks as what they really are–opportunities.” To help your teen think positively, make it a goal for the whole family to look at the bright side. That doesn’t mean ignoring problems; instead, it’s about keeping the focus on what you can control instead of what you can’t and proactively seeking solutions. Empower your teen to think creatively, solve problems and find opportunities, and their confidence will increase exponentially.

2. Get out of your comfort zone.

Confidence doesn’t mean you never feel fear, but it does mean you’re less likely to let fear hold you back. “Those who invite discomfort are able to achieve more, take more significant risks and break through barriers, and are open to facing new challenges,” says Angeli Gianchandani, founder of Mobility Girl, a platform designed to empower young people through mentorship. “Discomfort is a form of self-growth, pushing yourself mentally to overcome fear.” To help your teen lean into growth opportunities, encourage them to take risks to pursue their goals and find the lessons in mistakes and set-backs. Each time they get out of their comfort zone, they’re expanding their capacity for confidence.

3. Embrace self-care. 

Truly confident people practice self-compassion and self-care to stay strong. “Recent research has shown self-compassion was associated with self-worth,” says Michele Patterson Ford, Ph.D., a psychologist and senior lecturer in psychology at Dickinson College. “Knowing your value is an important component of feeling confident in oneself.” Self-care habits start with self-awareness, so teach your teen to check in with themselves mentally, physically and emotionally. When they know what they need, they can take steps to provide it for themselves or ask others for help. Self-care includes everything from exercising to getting enough sleep to making time to do the things you love to do. Whatever it means for your teen, make sure they know they’re worth it and support them when they take time to nurture themselves.

4. Connect with others.

Positive psychology pioneer and University of Michigan professor Christopher Peterson was famous for saying, \”I can sum up positive psychology in just three words: Other people matter.\” Numerous studies show a powerful reciprocal relationship between feeling connected to others and feeling good about ourselves. To help your teen gain confidence through connection, make sure they prioritize IRL time with friends and family. Encourage them to express gratitude and give them tools to resolve conflict. You can also make connections together by volunteering in the community. “One of the most practical ways to be more hopeful about the future is to realize that you can and do make a difference in people\’s lives,” says writer Bill Murphy, Jr. “By focusing on helping others, we gain the added benefit of increasing our own levels of happiness and optimism.”

To help your teen learn confidence-boosting healthy habits like these, download Lucero. It’s a gamified wellness app that builds emotional regulation skills and self-care habits in just a few minutes a day. Lucero is the most fun and engaging way for tweens and teens to gain healthy habits with bite-sized content co-created by experts and teens themselves.

You could say that to be confident is to trust yourself. Confidence gives teens faith in their own abilities and a secure sense of self-reliance. It’s the cornerstone quality that helps them navigate the changes of adolescence, make good choices and thrive in a rapidly-changing world.

Why Confidence is Key

Teens who lack confidence miss out on critical growth opportunities because they are less likely to take risks, join in activities and speak up for themselves. They may expect to fail or become overly perfectionistic. They’re also more susceptible to depression, anxiety, substance-use, self-harm and being negatively influenced by peers.

High levels of confidence, in contrast, are proven to protect teens’ mental health. Confident teens are more emotionally resilient, optimistic, persistent and self-compassionate. They have more social support and lower levels of common mental health problems like depression and anxiety. And confident teens are more likely to get the most out of opportunities for growth and self-discovery, like challenging classes and team sports. In short, teens who lack confidence struggle, and teens who have confidence thrive.

The Perfect Storm

Adolescence challenges kids’ confidence in multiple, intersecting ways. In the span of a few years, teens undergo seismic shifts in their bodies, brain chemistry, and emotional and social landscapes. In the midst of all that change, they are tasked with crafting their identities and taking on new levels of independence and responsibility. And because they\’re neurologically wired to seek belonging with peers, the opinions of others suddenly matter much more.

These rapid-fire changes test even the most well-adjusted teens. In a study of 1,300 tween and teen girls, authors Claire Shipman, Katty Kay, and JillEllyn Riley discovered that, between the ages of 8 and 14, confidence levels dropped by 30%. “The change can be baffling to many parents,” they write in The Atlantic. “Their young girls are masters of the universe, full of gutsy fire. But as puberty sets in, their confidence nose-dives, and those same daughters can transform into unrecognizably timid, cautious, risk-averse versions of their former self.”

Why You Need a Proactive Plan

Because of the multiple factors that can damage teens’ confidence, it\’s not enough to leave it up to chance. Teens need a proactive plan to gain tools, strategies and habits that build their confidence and keep it high. Here are three things parents can do to put a solid plan in place:

1. Keep communicating.

Confident teens know their parents and caregivers are on their team, and they feel comfortable communicating about what matters most to them and any challenges they’re going through. It’s natural, though, for teens to become more guarded and private during adolescence. To keep the lines of communication open, stay curious about your teen’s interests. That’s where they feel most confident and, when they know you care about what’s important to them, they’ll see you as an ally in other areas, too.

1. Support them in getting out of their comfort zone.

Taking on a challenge can be scary at any age, but it’s one of the best ways to build confidence. Author Alex Malley says, “Take a risk and take action despite your fear of failure, messing up or embarrassment. If things work out, then you now know you can do more than you think. If things don’t work out, you now know that you can handle more than you think. Either way, you’re better off.” Help your teen explore the world around them and get comfortable taking positive risks. When you know they really want to try something new, be their cheerleader.

1. Build healthy habits.

Teens need daily practice to keep their confidence high. Healthy habits like positive self-talk, mindfulness and self-care are essential tools to protect teens’ confidence and boost their self-awareness. Our gamified wellness app, Lucero, was designed with teen confidence in mind; in fact, it’s a key topic in World 1. It’s a fun, no-pressure way for teens to get daily inspiration and encouragement and build healthy habits.

• Travel

“Young people do not usually develop a specific purpose and then go become an expert in that thing,” says Project Wayfinder founder Patrick Cook-Deegan. “Rather, they are exposed to something new that helps them develop their own sense of purpose.” According to Deegan, travel is one of the most powerful ways teens find purpose, a big component of confidence.

Why does travel make such an impact? First, it takes teens out of their comfort zone and eliminates self-imposed limitations. Encounters with new people, places, and ideas expand their sense of what’s possible and often spark new passions. Travel also helps teens learn how to plan, problem-solve, and deal with unexpected challenges. Beyond the typical family vacation, travel gives teens the opportunity to take on a new level of self-responsibility. Each time teens successfully solve a problem or overcome a challenge, their confidence gets a big boost. Look for exchange programs, teen-focused tours, wilderness programs, and service-learning experiences to help your teen find the adventure that’s right for them.

• Team sports

A recent survey of more than 10,000 adolescent girls found that playing sports correlates with increased confidence, better body image and academic performance, and stronger interpersonal relationships. Teen girls experience an overall drop in self-confidence during middle school, but girls of all ages who play sports report consistently higher levels of self-confidence. “Girls who participate on a sports team are more likely to have learned healthy ways to handle stressful situations, have more effective and supportive friendships with other girls and have increased career and leadership aspirations,” said ROX founder Dr. Lisa Hinkelman. Don’t count sports out if your teen isn’t into the mainstream options offered at school; community clubs offer everything from skateboarding to quidditch to kickball.

• Public speaking

Confidence comes from doing hard things, and one of the most challenging things for many people– including about a third of Americans– is public speaking. But research from North Carolina State University shows that teens who participate in some kind of public speaking program feel more courageous.

Public speaking helps teens face their fears and develop communication skills that boost their confidence in lots of situations. They learn how to advocate for themselves and causes they care about, listen to others, and stay steady when challenged. There are lots of ways for teens to practice public speaking, from debate and 4-H clubs to theater or improv classes. And many coaches and teachers now incorporate stress strategies for teens who are fearful of public speaking, so they can feel supported and take it at their own pace.

• After-school and summer jobs

Worried that a job might distract your teen from all-important academic and extracurricular activities? A Harvard longitudinal study of 1,000 teens says those fears may be unfounded. In fact, teens who work part-time were shown to be more confident, responsible and successful than their peers without jobs. Work responsibilities push teens to test their abilities, learn new skills, problem-solve, prioritize and stick to a schedule.

Jobs are a great place to meet mentors and make new friends. And of course, earning their own money increases teens’ confidence, too. If your teen is interested in getting a job, talk to their school counselor about work-study options, aptitude tests and practice interviews. Look for internships or entry-level jobs that will help them cultivate career skills in industries they’re interested in learning more about. With a little luck, your teen may find a job that boosts their self-confidence and starts them off on a path toward a fulfilling future.

1. 1. Let them make mistakes. Knowing when to step back and (gulp!) let your teen fail is one of parenting’s hardest lessons. Sounds radical, but confident kids aren’t afraid to make mistakes. Teens need to practice solving their own problems and figuring out what to do when things don’t go their way. Getting comfortable with failure is a key component of a growth mindset and boosts self-confidence.
   2. Stay on call. Confident teens take responsibility for themselves, but they also know when to call for backup. The teenage brain is a work in progress, and a parent’s perspective helps them make sense of the struggles they encounter. Knowing there’s a safety net of unconditional love and support makes all the difference when teens step outside their comfort zones
   3. Strengthen their sense of belonging. Support from parents matters most, but teens need extended family, friends, mentors, and community, too. The more people who care about and are invested in your teen, the better. Different kinds of supportive relationships give teens multiple experiences of mattering to others, and that sense of belonging helps them feel confident.
   4. Help them learn new things. Gaining skills and knowledge boosts kids’ confidence, too. The teenage brain is wired for explosive growth, seeking novelty, challenges, and new experiences. Parents can help by providing diverse opportunities for learning and growth. Everything from educational apps to volunteering together to subject-specific summer camps can spark your teen’s curiosity and develop their confidence.
   5. Ask for their advice. Let your teen know that you respect them and value their opinion. When you’re facing a tough decision or solving a problem, talk to them about it and ask what they would do in your place. Teens are used to being on the receiving end of a lot of advice. Asking for their perspective validates their maturity and helps them feel confident stepping into a more grown-up role.
   6. Practice scary scenarios. Whether they’re facing a difficult conversation with a friend, a big speech at school, or some other event that tests their confidence, practice empowers teens to show up as the best version of themselves. You can offer to role-play the situation or talk through different possible responses or outcomes. Nothing builds confidence like having been there before.
   7. Take on challenges together. Confidence comes from achieving goals and learning how to handle setbacks and failure. Taking on challenges together as a family can empower teens to tackle their own individual aims. Run a 5K, build a treehouse, or download a self-care app together– any challenge works as long as everybody is equally invested in success.
   8. Watch for their sensitive spots. Teens are painfully aware that everything from their appearance to their abilities and achievements is under constant scrutiny from peers. Most teens are confident in some areas but not so much in others. Parents can help teens make sure these sensitive spots don’t override their overall confidence. Help them practice self-compassion, embrace their uniqueness, play up their skills and positive qualities, and surround themselves with people who love them just as they are.
   9. Protect against perfectionism. Perfectionism in teens is a big confidence-killer. High-achieving teens can get discouraged when their efforts fall short of their ideals, like the athlete driven by body dysmorphia or the honor roll student overwhelmed by anxiety because they’re not ranked top of their class. Help your teen value growth, learning, fun, and friendship over perfect scores, and remind them that their worth can’t be measured by numbers. Confident teens take pride in their achievements but don’t let those achievements define them.
   10. Model and praise courage. It’s been said that confidence is a feeling, while courage is a choice. We can’t always feel confident, but we can still choose to act with courage. When you let your teen see you being brave, you’re showing them how to face their fears, too. And when you praise their courageous acts, it validates them for taking the risk to grow. Confidence may not be necessary to act courageously, but courage always builds confidence.

Encourage emotional awareness.

“The gateway to empathy is emotional literacy,” says Michele Borba, educational psychologist and author of UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World. Talking about feelings is how kids learn that emotions matter – their own and others’. Teens first need to know how to identify their feelings. Are they sad, mad, frustrated, hurt? Parents can help teens name and claim emotions by reflecting and asking questions: “It sounds like you’re upset. Are you angry?” The more aware teens are of their own emotions, the more they’ll pay attention to the emotions of others. Parents can ask teens how others might feel, too: “What do you think Jackson was feeling when he said that?” And make sure your teen knows that you have emotions, too. Teens value authenticity. When parents can be vulnerable, it builds trust and a closer connection.

Nurture multigenerational relationships.

Relationships across generations are beneficial for all ages, but they’re especially powerful for teaching teens about compassion. A few generations back, it was common for teens to help take care of younger siblings or senior relatives. These connections teach teens what it means to be responsible for others and often show them just how capable they really are. They also help teens develop compassion for those whose abilities differ from their own. When helping your teen build multigenerational relationships, start close to home. Is there a family member, friend, or neighbor who needs help? Can your teen earn extra money babysitting or running errands for seniors? Many cities have nonprofits that focus on multigenerational relationships. Teens can volunteer to teach technology or deliver meals to seniors, serve as a camp counselor, or tutor a younger student.

Explore different perspectives together.

Think about how you can help your teen develop awareness of cultural, ethnic, and religious plurality as well as differences in age, gender, ability, and economic background. \”Attitudes are caught not taught,\” says LuAnn Hoover, instructor of family studies and human services at Kansas State University. \”Nonverbal actions are picked up on. Kids don\’t attend to what adults say but to what they do. It\’s the saying, \’Actions speak louder than words.\’\” In other words, to embrace different perspectives, teens need to see you walking the talk. Make a project of exploring diverse perspectives and experiences together. Visit museums, watch movies, read books, try different cuisines, and attend local festivals. Emphasize the differences and connections in your own family and community, and help your teen see that they are a part of a big, diverse, interdependent world.

Rethink the chore chart.

Research shows that kids who do chores report better family relationships, but many parents say they’d rather do the chores themselves than have to nag their teens or fight over the definition of a clean room. One problem may be that, in many families, chores aren’t directly connected to caring for each other. Instead of randomly assigning tasks, try sitting down with your teen to rework the chore chart with a focus on how you can support each other. For example, if you work late on Wednesdays, would your teen be willing to get dinner on the table? If your teen has to wake up extra early for practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays, could those days be chore-free? When your teen pitches in, make sure you let them know how they’ve helped you: “Thanks for getting your brother ready for school. It gave me extra time to prepare for a big meeting and made my whole day go so much smoother. I really appreciate you.”

There’s nothing as rewarding as seeing your teen express empathy or lend a helping hand to someone in need. These four strategies help teens build rewarding relationships, develop responsibility, and, most importantly, find fulfillment in caring for others. 

1. Get curious about your teen’s dreams and passions.

What takes a goal across the finish line? A plan is important, but motivation matters most of all. Before you introduce the idea of goal setting with your teen, ask yourself: how well do you know what motivates them? What are they passionate about? Are you sure they’re following their passions and not yours? We often pressure teens to go for the goals that are most important from a parents’ perspective, but this strategy can sometimes backfire. Teens are more likely to grow into goal-oriented adults if they are motivated by genuine excitement and curiosity, rather than external factors like approval from others. To help your teen tap into their intrinsic motivation, get curious about their interests. Ask questions, be willing to learn, and feel excited with them. Your belief in them empowers them to believe in themselves.

2. Set goals together.

The most effective way to teach teens how to set goals is to make it fun and do it as a family. Setting goals together provides motivation and accountability and gives teens a template to use for individual goals later on. Family goals can be as simple as cooking dinner together one night a week or as complex as planning a once-in-a-lifetime trip. To get started, pick an easier goal and then work your way up to bigger targets. Make sure everyone is equally invested, agrees to their roles and responsibilities, and gets a say in choosing how to celebrate success. For example, the family could start by planning and training to run a 5K together. Once that goal has been achieved, you could then choose to train for a longer race, or try racing a fun obstacle course designed for all ages. Each time you achieve one goal, have the teens decide how they should top it.

3. Find your formula and make a roadmap.

First published in 1981 by George Doran, the SMART formula is a classic way to teach teens to map out their goals. SMART goals are:

• Specific: You can define exactly what you want to achieve.
• Measurable: You can measure what you have achieved and know when you have achieved it.
• Achievable: Your goal will stretch you, but you know you can realistically reach it.
• Relevant: Your goal matters to you and aligns with your values.
• Time-based: You have a target date to reach your goal.

Another goal setting formula that’s great for teens is WOOP, developed by Dr. Garbrielle Oettingin:

• Wish: What’s your wish? It should be challenging but attainable.
• Outcome: What’s the best outcome you hope to achieve?
• Obstacle: What’s the main obstacle that stands in the way of your wish being fulfilled?
• Plan: What can you do to overcome that obstacle?

Whatever the formula, encourage your teen to map their goal with pen and paper or a digital device. Goals can be mapped in a journal or notebook, on poster board with colorful markers, or on a chalkboard wall. WOOP has a free app for Android and iOS, and planner and calendar apps are great for tracking reminders, milestones, and target dates.

4. Make it happen with micro goals.

Just like adults, teens can be master procrastinators when it comes to goals. Paradoxically, the higher teens aim, the harder it can be to make meaningful progress. The reason? High expectations and fear of failure compound stress. Teach teens to dream big but work towards their goals in small steps. Micro goals break a goal down into easily-achievable aims and prioritize consistent progress, even if it’s slow. Researchers at Stanford University found that small, incremental success is motivating at the beginning of a new project, but as they get closer to the finish line, teens should pick up the pace and focus on the excitement they’ll feel when they cross it.

5. Help them choose the right goals.

According to the nonprofit Challenge Success, “a narrow definition of success is hurting our kids.” Overemphasis on test scores, grades, and college admissions means teens are overwhelmingly sleep-deprived, worried about academics, and dealing with stress-related health symptoms. Goals should empower teens and expand their sense of what’s possible, not become a source of harmful stress. Parents can help teens choose goals wisely: What would make their lives more meaningful? How can they make a positive impact on the world – while also having fun? What would make them most proud of themselves? Goals should be values-based, challenging, and attainable.

With these five strategies, teens can learn practical skills for goal setting while staying connected to their passion and purpose. How’s that for a definition of success?